10 Things To Look Forward To In ’09

This year has been sort of a Debbie Downer. From the stock market slump, to the shocking death of Heath Ledger, to the lame duck President’s reversal of medical rights last week, things have been looking pretty glum. But I’m ready for a clean slate! So, for those of you who are with me and SO over ye ole ’08, here are 10 things to look forward to in 2009:

1. Going To Bed With Jimmy Fallon: The former “Saturday Night Live” star will get his own late night show in Spring ’09. He’s taking over Conan’s slot and the giant ginger is moving on down into Jay Leno’s time.
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Last-Minute Christmas Shopping: We’re All In This Together

Before I went Christmas shopping yesterday, I didn’t have a single present. I walked down the street going into every store, hoping and praying that when I went inside I would have a eureka moment. But I wasn’t stressed out. In every shop there was a feeling of desperation as people grabbed every item in sight, hoping that it would work for their mom, dad, sister, brother, or someone on their list. I felt like we were all in it together, and now you can have the same feeling! Above is a feed of what everyone on Twitter is saying about last-minute Christmas shopping. It’s fun to read what preparations are going down in these final days before the holiday. If you’re on Twitter and include the phrase “last minute christmas shopping” in what you write, your tweets will be added, too. Because, you know, holidays are about togetherness, and we want to know whether you’re feeling stressed because you can’t find anything for your sister, or if you’re elated because you got your dad last BlackBerry Storm in stock.
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Crave: Studded Wrap Watch

Our dream timepiece happens to be the Hermes double-wrapped Cape Cod watch. Unfortunately, it’s only a dream because it costs upwards of $2,000. However, this La Mer Studded Wrap Watch is a million times cheaper, (almost) as cute, and a little more punk rock, thanks to strategically placed studs. When you’re as rich as Grace Kelly you can buy the Cape Cod — this watch is for your cool, bad ass, poor, 20-something days. [$95, UrbanOutfitters.com] Keep reading »

Where Is The Music, MTV?

MTV plans to launch 16 new reality shows over the next four-and-a-half months, in an effort to retain its young and flighty audience. Recent ratings show a 23 percent drop in the network’s core demographic of 12- to 34-year-olds. The new series will be in the same vein as “The Hills,” a slightly scripted success story at MTV, but will avoid the backbiting and bitchery themes of most reality shows nowadays. Instead, the shows will focus on young people accomplishing their goals and proving themselves. Gee, that sounds like “Made” to me, but hopefully MTV won’t actually interfere in the lives of these young people. But then again, is watching someone fail also entertaining? MTV probably doesn’t think so. Brian Graden, president of entertainment at MTV Networks music channels and president of Logo, said these new themes are in step with the Obama generation. If Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” video is any indication, the Obama generation also enjoys music videos. Take a look at MTV’s programming for today and you’d discover music videos only air for two hours, from 5 am to 7 am. The rest of the programming is the fluff the network (and its audience) is trying to escape. After the jump find out some of what MTV has planned for your viewing pleasure. Keep reading »

Stupid Product Alert: Tape Yourself Slim!

Does your arm skin jiggle every time you wave hello? How about your thighs? Do they wobble with every step you take? Well, “now you can wear short sleeves [and shorts] again!” Thankfully, the make-a-quick-buck powers-that-be have invented Slim Tape. Supposedly this $10 product works like magic, but really it’s rather simple. You basically adhere the tape to your arm skin and then pull up the other flap of tape and adhere it to the top side of your arm. For the thighs, you adhere one flap of tape to the middle of the thigh. Then pull up the other flap of tape and adhere it to your upper thigh. And presto! You’ve got “younger looking” skin. Plus the tape is reusable. The taped side of arm skin is never shown in the commercial. I think the makers realized a flaw in this product’s purpose because it would be even more embarrassing to actually wear short sleeves if the Slim Tape is visible. Although my mom intends on purchasing this, I don’t think this product is really necessary. Jiggly arm skin seems to happen to most women no matter how much iron we pump. So I think we should just get over it. Keep reading »

The Best Male Bloggers of 2008

Who are 2008’s best male bloggers? From gadget geeks to beat-makers, supadupastars to trendhunters, celebrity stalkers to street shooters, we’ve rounded up the best of the guy bloggers. Found out who they are after the jump. Keep reading »

RIP: Robert Pattinson’s Hair

As I noted yesterday, “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson cut his hair. While it’s obvious that he’ll have to grow it back for the sequel “New Moon” — after all, Edward Cullen’s hair doesn’t CHANGE — I’m still mourning the loss of his luscious, dirty locks. Above, his hair in its many disheveled forms. Can you guess the chronological order of these photos, from the oldest to the most recent? Answers, after the jump, but no cheating! Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Dumb Guy

I noticed Bob before he noticed me. He looked like the kind of guy you have sex with in barroom bathrooms and the backseats of cars. When he said “Hey” as I brushed past him in the Cold & Sinus aisle of Walgreen’s, I hesitated. I knew that “Hey.” It was the cocky “Hey” of a man who’s good in bed and bad at everything else. He’ll stand you up for dinner, but he can guarantee you multiple orgasms before breakfast. I knew better. I agreed to meet him for coffee later that night.

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The Breakup Diaries: My $527 Makeout

To make a long story short, my breakup is officially official. It became sort of official a few months ago when I decided to call it a breakup rather than a “break” or a “separation,” but it didn’t become officially official until my ex told me, a week ago, that he was no longer in love with me. Until that point, I was definitely holding out hope for a potential reconciliation — after all, the “break” was supposed to be time for him to explore and deal with his issues — but when someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, well, whether you believe them or not, and whether you think they need serious help, you kind of just need to accept it and move on. So I did. And it cost me $527. But it was worth it. Keep reading »

Can We Please Stop Fawning Over The Duggars?

The Duggar family welcomed their 18th child (with a J name!) last week, a girl named Jordyn-Grace. Since then, they’ve been making the talk show rounds and the amount of fawning and praising and congratulating going on is enough to make me want to throw up. Yes, babies are cute. You will not find a person who loves babies more than me. But one woman, popping out 18 children, when there are so many babies and children that need to be adopted, is DISGUSTING. Michelle Duggar has every right to do what she wants with her body — Roe V. Wade goes both ways — but I also have the right to think it’s gross. As a friend of mine just said, “It’s a vagina, not a clown car!” It’s also selfish. By all means, if you can afford to have 18 children and provide a good life for them, blah, blah, blah, God’s will, GREAT — but couldn’t a fraction of those 18 be the children in orphanages also brought into this world thanks to God’s will? Keep reading »

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