Dear Famous Footwear, We Need To Talk.

Dear Famous Footwear,

We need to talk.

I feel like I’ve been trying to make things work with you for so long. My friends rave about you constantly: your great prices, your huge selections, your friendly employees. I watch them point proudly to their cute new shoes and I think, “If it worked for them, it will work for me, right?” Keep reading »

15 Celebs Hitting The Big O Face

15 Celebs Hitting The Big O Face
People always warn that meeting your fave celeb in person is often a huge disappointment. Well, thanks to some sneaky paparazzi, you can see why shagging them may even be a letdown too — a hilarious, hilarious letdown. Heck, you may just thank your lucky stars you never had sexy times with your celeb crush after you see these totally horrible/completely funny famous faces looking like they’re in the throes of the big O!

How To Keep Your Private Parts Private In Airport Security

Rebellion against the new TSA airport security measures is beginning to escalate. People are already pulling stunts, inventing protective pasties, and this coming Wednesday (“Opt Out Day”) promises to bring the drama (we’re secretly dying to see what happens even though it’s sure to cause a major air travel hassle). For those who wish to protest a bit more peacefully, there are now also underwear options thanks to Rocky Flats Gear, a company that produces undergarments for both men and women (bras, panties, tighty-whities) with strategically placed x-ray-blocking fig leaves. When you go through the full body scanner at the airport, the patches block the image, so you can attempt to retain some dignity. Of course, these might prove useless if the TSA thinks you’re hiding something and then forces you into the pat down. Worth a try though, maybe? [Rocky Flats Gear] Keep reading »

A Scientific Study Of Who Is The Biggest Drunk On TV

Recently, The Daily Beast has kept a careful eye on the small screen, tallying the number of drinks imbibed during primetime television shows. No, they’re not conducting some parent watchdog study—they’re just trying to determine who’s the biggest drunk on TV. Kara Cutruzzula rewatched the entirety of season four of “Mad Men” to determine just how many drinks the folks at Sterling Cooper Draper Price consumed. Not surprisingly, Don Draper came out in the lead with 78 and a half drinks downed during the season. Of course, he does get the most screen time.

Now every week, Kara charts the bevs consumed on other TV shows—from “Gossip Girl” to “The Real Housewives of Atlanta“—to see if anyone can drink Don under the table. Keep reading »

For The Week Of November 22-28, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Be warned: you might feel a bit more neurotic than usual, tuning onto a psychic power that will make you see deep beyond surfaces. Go ahead and don’t let anyone talk you out of your “craziness. Instead, dissect whatever is on the examining block to the core, as your security and sense of trust are now under fire — it’s time to find solid ground where you are or elsewhere.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Don’t be shy in running what you hear past friends before considering the offers that have come in. Not to say you need their permission, but you may be projecting, hearing what you want to hear instead of getting the facts straight. Of course, in time what you wish may come to pass, but for now, the pace you are moving at is likely to be slower than the one you want.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Just because someone is aggressive doesn’t make him or her passionate or smarter. Sure, it’s hot being with someone who knows what they want, but this has to be a two-way street for it to truly work. If you are feeling even a bit of apprehension, take that as your red flag. Understand moving ahead isn’t always the right option, especially if staying where you are works for you.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Believe your own hype because this isn’t the time to cut corners to accommodate anyone. Yes, you might come across as a little too bossy for some people’s taste, but screw them. This is your time to shine and if they can’t add to your luster, then they need to step off. There is no holding you back now, even if you don’t know where you are going, as all will unravel in time

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

An epiphany is coming for you, as long as you put yourself out there and voice what is bothering you. Seems that in your verbiage will come the answer: You will hear yourself in a way that will start to make all things clear. So, time to double up on the shrink appointments, journal writing or purging to friends, because a breakthrough is destined.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

This is your time to be who you want to be and throw caution to the wind, as a burst of energy is about to hit you and send waves of inspiration to your brain and body. Seems nothing can stop you now. You have all the right people at your disposal, helping you to whatever goals you set. The catch: put out the signals loud and clear, because those around you are not mind readers.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There will be more promises made to you than you’ll know what to do with, but you’re a smart lady and if you pay attention closely, you will know which opportunities are for real and which are just meant to flatter. Yes, seems there’ll be more than a few who want to kiss your ass, but only a precious few who will actually have the ability to do so properly: know the difference.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Forget what you see and pay attention to what you feel, as nothing you assume might be what truly lies beneath. You know it; time to listen to that higher being in you and take the higher road, as the one less traveled now will be the one that will bring the answers you need. Of course, it may also bring some suffering along the way, but nothing you can’t handle.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Get behind closed doors and pull the shades shut, but don’t be foolish to think you can go it alone. Instead, grab someone delicious to join in on your hibernation. All you need now is some real intimacy to recalibrate yourself and make you feel powerful. Otherwise, trying to submerge yourself solo into your deep unknown will only put you farther down the hole.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Relationship woes are about to end and a new balance will be achieved, redefining the purpose and direction of where you both want to go. Yes, a love renaissance is in the works, putting you and your baby on the same page in every way and making all the pieces of the puzzle fit together easily, as now you both are finally seeing the same picture.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A surprise is about to enter your day-to-day life, breaking you out of your current malaise. What you once thought was cute will no longer suffice, as something new and improved is heading your way. Once it arrives, you might not know what to make of it, but your curiosities won’t be able to resist wanting to make something of it.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Not that you aren’t already playful, but this week will unravel a new level of flirty, as fate will have quite the way of nudging you into a fun, new, sexier adventure that will have even you wondering how far you would go. Yes, challenges are in store, as in new boundaries to push and new ideals to grasp. Seems you haven’t done it all, yet.

The Sex Rules You Should Break

Here are nine commonly swallowed sexual misconceptions, and the truth, which shall set your sex life free. Oh, and since we all know there can be too much of a good thing (think: Matthew McConaughey, shirtless), we recommend you not trot them all out tonight, lest your regular bedfellow suddenly wonder whom he brought home. Of course — and this should go without saying — safety first, ladies. Read more Keep reading »

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