Hot Sex With Zack Morris, Anyone?

Did anyone happen to catch Zack Morris, I mean Mark-Paul Gosselaar, on the latest episode of “Weeds”? Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) goes into an empty bar in Podunk and encounters a hot-as-s**t bartender. I was gawking at my TV screen trying to figure out who the hottie was slinging those beers. It wasn’t until he had her bent over the bar and was behind her smacking her ass with a ladle that I realized, Holy crap! That’s Zack Morris! Somebody’s not in high school anymore. That scene was almost too hot for me to watch. Too bad his wife found out about their little fling. I was hoping for him to become a recurring character. Keep reading »

Hold That Latte, Lady! Extra Pounds Could Chop $13K Off Your Salary (But Dudes, Go Right Ahead)

You know you’ll get penalized at work if you stumble in every day of the week at 11 a.m. hungover. Who knew your salary would be penalized for binging on those Mallomars in your desk, too? An analysis of two studies, one tracking over 11,000 Germans and one tracking almost 12,000 Americans, found women who clocked in at 25 lbs. less than the group norm pulled in over an average of $15,000 more per year more than women of average weight, while women who weighed 25 lbs. more than the group norm earned an average of $13,000 less than women of average weight. Boys, the opposite is true for you: thin men earn less, but a guy actually rakes in more dough as he packs on the pounds, up until the point he becomes obese. Ah, the joys of sexism. Keep reading »

What If Eric Stolz Played Marty McFly In “Back To The Future”?

So, apparently, Eric Stolz was originally cast as Marty McFly in “Back to the Future.” And the footage has surfaced. Director Robert Zemekis and producer Steven Spielberg decided after five weeks of filming that Eric just wasn’t making the magic happen as Marty. So they started over with Michael J. Fox. Good call, because the movie turned out just right. No offense to Eric, who is a great actor (he scared the crap out of me in “Mask”); he just may not be as funny as Michael J. Fox. Or look as adorable sitting in a DeLorean. [NY Post]
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Mind Of Man: Regular Men Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

I can’t wear skinny jeans, because I have beefy man legs, mighty logs of muscle and sinew, the end product of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Ancient man spent his days running from prehistoric beasts, jumping with simian fury and squatting around the fire. Here’s a short list of the men who can wear skinny jeans: Iggy Pop, The Pumpkin King, moody beanpoles with eating disorders and those with unusually narrow pelvises. If you own and wear a cape or a top hat, you can wear skinny jeans. If you need skin-tight pants that hug your hips, then do as Batman does and wear tights. Regular men should not wear skinny jeans.
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Let Lady Gaga Light Your Way Down There

Behold the Lady Gaga fleshlight, which is basically a sex flashlight for dudes to stick their junk in. She looks kind of how I’d picture her to look as a Muppet. But Muppets and sex toys don’t mix. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Krystal Ball: Enough With The Sexy Photos, Let’s Get Back To Business

Krystal Ball, the Virginia Congressional candidate whose sexy photos were posted by a right-wing smear blog attempting to discredit her campaign, never intended to steal the 24-hour news cycle away from Christine “I Am Not A Witch” O’Donnell. But 28-year-old Ball has no desire to feed tabloid fodder. She spent a week giving media interviews and even released a brilliant statement on how she would not let dirty politics humiliate her. But this morning, Ball announced she is back to focusing on her campaign. In a statement released the morning, provided to us by Krystal Ball For Congress, she said:

“I felt it was important to speak out on this issue and I have done so. I believe that I was treated fairly by the media and able to answer to the voters of Virginia. Now they deserve a discussion regarding issues such as reforming government, getting people back to work and improving our education system. I feel deeply blessed to be interviewing for the job of Congresswoman in front of the citizen’s of the first district of Virginia. I will not be granting any additional interviews on this issue for the remainder of the campaign.”

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