Last week, a man ran into a Starbucks in Boston and screamed, “I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich!” This is not the beginning of a joke, by the way, so read on. The mystery man tossed out fistfuls of dollar bills (also known as “making it rain”) and ran away. That’s it. He didn’t… More »
Last summer, I fell in love with my boxing teacher. I never kissed him. I never spent time alone with him. Though I did have mental sex with him at least a thousand times, and was only left with goose bumps and a weakened mind.
The first time I went to class, Mike… More »
“Chelsea is confident. I think confidence is the sexiest thing about a person. She’s the kind of person that if you’re blessed with the opportunity to hang out with her, you’ll enjoy it. I’m not sure you’ll look at her and actually want to jump over the table and f**k her, but you might. You… More »
Now you can give birth to a fully-charged iPhone with this umbilical cord charger. I don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of responsibility. But then again, people say you’re never really ready. [Daily Mail UK]… More »
I’m single, which is working out great because I hate grooming. My ex is awesome, but between you and me and the internet, she could be a total bitch about “soap and water.” Whatever! Now I’m free to wallow in my own filth and believe me, I stink hard. Sure, I look like a lumberjack… More »
The other day, I dug up a small travel-size bottle of Fresh’s Sugar Lemon body lotion that had been languishing in my bathroom cabinet. I used a tiny amount on my dry, chapped hands and as soon as I smelled it, I immediately wanted to be swathed in an entire bucket of the stuff. The… More »