Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Your love life will start to brew subtle hints of cosmic revival. Sporadic lucky moments will show you that the last few months of turmoil were not for nothing. Just don’t run before you can walk, because pacing will be your key to being able to see the bigger picture and aiming your affection in the right direction.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
No one said success was easy. While you’ve been able to cruise on charm, classic good looks and a mad sense of style, you’ll find at this level that haters aren’t just hiding away and envying you, but out and about, setting up traps to try to take you down. Don’t worry; karma is on your side, helping you to expose these frauds and once again proving you’re the sexiest bitch on the block.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Kicking your inner demon’s ass has made you who you are. While most underestimate you on first glance, don’t let that get you down. Whatever, if they can’t see upon first glace the wondrous glamour and intense magic that is you, forget it. Trust shortsighted people aren’t ever going to be tall enough to reach your g-spot anyway.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Start drawing the line between the professional and personal, as your worlds are melding into one and throwing you off your game. Not like you have to make any big announcements, more so doing inner work on yourself and deciding what your priorities are. Of course, being the fly-by-the-panties kind of girl you are, at the end of the day, who knows what will really transpire?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
If you find yourself censoring yourself to adapt to another, time to rethink the whole situation. If you start editing yourself now, who knows where you’ll end up? You’ve seen this path of destruction happen before, people pleasing a little too much and soon enough not even recognizing yourself. As they say, “Time to check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Justice will prevail and karma will give you a front row seat to the demise of an a-hole that’s done you wrong. Of course, being that you’re famous for not being one short on compassion, expect to be the person he calls to bail him out too — but remember who he is and don’t let yourself get dickmatized all over again. (Like it was even that fun the first time around?)
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
All your stellar pumping and grinding has won you a badge of honor, sealing your reputation as a premier lover in gold. With this said, you’ve earned the right not to have to lay yourself down for any more neophytes, thinking they’ll catch up to your level of skill. So, when you instincts tell you that watching TV would feel more fulfilling than the sex, pay attention.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Your tendency to find the sweetest boys to love and corrupt senselessly is getting to be a tired mess. After all, how many times will you have to get on top and show them how it’s done? Yes, it’s been a thankless job, but finally a reward is coming. Tables will turn in your current state of affairs and where you’ll wind up will blow more than just your mind.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and no matter how funky you think of your friend’s latest hook-up, curb your judgment. While her choice might not be the easiest on the eye, he’ll most likely be sweeter than honey when it comes to all other categories. No matter, once you get a peek at his hot-as-hell-friends, you’ll likely fall in love too.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Consistency isn’t your strong point, but if you want to that special someone to take you seriously, you’re going to have to lay it on the line and back it up with action. Show off your intensity and let him feel the fire. Once he feels the heat, you can bet they’ll be no turning back for him. Of course, with you, who knows? That just might be when you realize the chase is the tastiest part.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Expect the pressure to get intense, as your boo raises the stakes and starts making bigger demands on your time and space. While you thought his territorial affection was cute early on, now it’s becoming a buzzkill. So, what to do? What to do? Obviously talking to him isn’t working or asking for space. Is it time for something extreme? Um, yes.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
A new hot neighbor or acquaintance arrives to set your loins on fire. Oddly enough, he’ll leave you temporarily speechless, as this one will have you feeling out of your element. Perhaps he might be semi-attached or rather detached. Whichever the case, admire him from afar for now and dig for the dirt. Doing your homework will prove more interesting than the actual catch.
I am so ashamed of this hotness, honestly. Last Friday, I was working from home, watching The Today Show, when the famous crooner came on the screen. Mind you, I previously did not enjoy him because I think his music kind of stinks and is too sappy, plus I was a little resentful that he was dating super cool Emily Blunt. But now they’re broken up and I can finally see Buble for the smoking hot dude that he is. Seriously, his face his hot. I truly wish, however, that he would not open his mouth to sing. Keep reading »
Oh, Fashion Week. How exciting you are. New York’s look at Spring 2009 started on Friday. After the jump are some of the designers whose newest wares struck our fancy, at least on the runway. We’ll be covering Fashion Week all next week as well, so stayed tuned for some other designers who made our stomachs turn. [Above: Rachel Comey] Keep reading »
The Presidential Election is mere weeks away! It used to be that t-shirts were the only way you could show your support for a candidate, or just the electoral process in general, but nowadays everyone from Etsy vendors to Forever 21 is selling political related accessories — rings, neclaces, tote bags — with cool graphics and arty pizazz. Check out ten picks after the jump! Keep reading »
McDreamy and McSteamy aren’t the only studs heating up Grey’s Anatomy. On Thursday’s episode, there was some bonus guy-on-guy action. A couple hot-bodied and hot-blooded military men we’re making soft-lipped love. One was even still in his uniform — God Bless America! If you’d like to get in on the drama, check out the clip above. This is especially cool considering the show had some gay bashing problems backstage last year. Now, fingers crossed they’ll get Steams and Dreams to make out…talk about a fantasy sequence!
There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re deal breakers.
I truly believe that the number one reason to get a boyfriend is to let yourself go. Not like “let yourself go” in a Britney kind of way – that’s scary – but let yourself go in a “let’s get a little fat together” kind of way. You get to do things in a couple that you don’t get to do when you’re single. Like get popcorn at the movies. Or spend an entire day drinking beer and eating buffalo wings any time between, I don’t know, September and January (football season). Good, wholesome, highly caloric activities that involve a lot of sitting. That’s high quality couple time.
It is with this mentality that I enter most relationships – which is why when I began dating a Manorexic, I quickly recognized the symptoms and got the eff out of there. My Manorexic — let’s call him Craig (as in Jenny) — seemed great. He was smart, handsome, gainfully employed, drank in moderation, and still had both balls – I was sold. Keep reading »
Whether Sarah Palin is a politician you already support or don’t support, this video from Current’s Sarah Haskins (Sarah, I am still waiting for you to return that note I sent you, where I asked “Will you be my best friend? Check ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.) is hilarious. Will Palin help McCain seize the P.A.N.T.H.E.R. vote? Guess we’ll find out in November! Keep reading »
Yesterday was the official start of New York Fashion Week, when designers in the U.S. send their collections down the runway for Spring/Summer 2009. And every year Pantone, a company that makes color-related products for graphic designers, publishers, and other design-y people, forecasts each season’s color trends by talking to fashion designers about their collections. Here are some of the colors you can expect to see on the runway during this fashion week. Keep reading »
Recently, it seems, I’ve been having the same conversation with my friends. It’s all very Groundhog Day. It begins with my lamenting the fact that I have been more or less single for the entirety of three years. In that time I have dated. Arguably, I’ve dated a lot. I just haven’t dated anyone special. I tell my friends that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. My emotional problems are limited, my looks better than average, my brain sharp as a tack and my vagina waxed.
Everytime I begin this conversation, it inevitably ends the same way — my friends, like a Greek Chorus, chime in, as if on cue, “It’s the city you live in. Los Angeles. You just can’t find a good man in Los Angeles.”
If you say it quickly and repeatedly it almost sounds like a Hare Krishna chant. Keep reading »