Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
This week your sage advice will bring on brilliant consequences for a certain someone and for that (as in him finally beginning to get the scope of your mental prowess), he’ll be even crazier about ravaging the enigma that is your body. Of course, being slow on the uptake has never been a teaser for you, so how you play with this ball in your court will be solely up to your discretion.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your five senses will be working on overdrive, so don’t waste them on anyone you don’t want to see, smell, feel, hear and taste 24-7, as all that you experience now is fuel for your creative senses, which can lead you to brilliant ideas and professional breakthroughs as well. Yes, once you get the ball rolling in the right manner, seems its chain reaction can make all fall into place.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You’ll have had it with beating yourself up over things you want and don’t have. Now it’s time to see what’s right in front of you is incredible and more fantastical than you first assumed. Yes, a change of heart is coming for the better and all the love and light you dreamt of will start to feel possible — and not in that scary Danielle Staub kind of way.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Not everyone is going to get with your aggression or passion, and for them, too bad. Avoid holding yourself back for anyone else now, as that is going to make you feel the ire of regret soon enough. You’ve set the pace; now it’s up to them to keep up or not. If not, no problem, there’s always another who can catch up — so don’t dumb yourself down!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
If so-and-so can’t say it to your face, there is no reason you can’t turn the tables on them and get back in theirs. You’re going to have to defend yourself now, as someone around you is going to be acting out in all kinds of shady ways. However, once you set your foot down and show them what you’ve got, the respect and power you deserve is yours for the taking.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You never thought you would be the kind to get jealous of your boo, but when you come down with a bout of the “have and have-nots,” you’ll be all about underestimating yourself. Whatever. Go with it and run through all those negative feelings, because only after you purge it all is when you can finally start rebuilding it too.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You won’t be able to see straight with lust going right into your brain and having you feel as if you are living an alternate universe. The good news is that it is real and you’ve earned every second of it! So forget asking too many questions, because ruining the vibe now with anything other than indulgence will forever put a wrench into your sexy little monkey works.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Just when you thought you knew what was happening and with whom, in comes a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment when your honey’s actions will seem as if they come out of left field and make you wonder what in the hell he or she might be smoking. Luckily for some though, this may mean a fun twist of events rather than an aggravating one.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Being chill in love is fine, but being complacent is not. Hello, time to realize not all is perfect in paradise and you may be slowly sliding down so-and-so’s priority list. Either or, to avoid a tragic end, time to add some spice to your current romantic bouillabaisse and start stirring the pot, as it’s all in your hands now to get the flavor back.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Sit back and relax. The less you stress yourself out about things, the clearer the answers are on what you need to do. Yes, this is your time to work smart, not hard, and the only way you can be at your cleverest is at your quietest — which is something new for you, but will prove to be interesting, informative and indispensable.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Just when you thought your lip-gloss was going to waste and that certain someone was forever in the “do not disturb” bin, in comes a surprise that will make you do a fast double take. Seems all mysteries aren’t so easily solved, as there are a few more clues that’ll pop up, and by following up on them, you may just crack this whole case and make it your own.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
This is your time to win over some points with your boo’s family, so clear out your schedule and start putting in some dates that will start giving you some clout in the eyes of those who will matter the most. This is your time to really start sealing the deal. Once you’ve won the kingpins over, it’ll be easy street.
Robert Downey, Jr. recently opened his big mouth on accident, and no, it wasn’t to tell me he loves me, sigh. But it’s pretty much the next best thing: Zach Galifianakis is going to be in the next Muppet movie! Yay! But who will he play? While normally I’d say he’d make a terrific live-action Fozzie Bear, after seeing Zach’s cheesecake shots in Vanity Fair, I think he’s a shoo-in for Miss Piggy! Keep reading »
The internet is abuzz with some news about “Teen Moms” Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham, Amber Portwood, and Catelynn Lowell. A figure has gotten out on how much MTV pays them for participating in the series. And considering that all of them struggle financially on the show—Farrah gets a job as a waitress, Maci worries about paying bills, and Catelynn is freaked about the price of community college—they actually make pretty good money, a reported $60K to $65K per season or about $5,000 per episode. [Huffington Post]
Now, that is a lot of money, especially considering that 75 percent of teen moms who aren’t on MTV end up on welfare within five years. It’s enough money that it should alter the making-ends-meet theme of the show, and it is more than many professionals make in a year. But instead of berating these teens, I’d like to put their paychecks in the context of what other reality TV stars make. And let’s just say that compared to the $1.25 million dollars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt made in 2008 for their insane on-camera antics, this is pocket change. Keep reading »