What Are We Reading This Week?

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 14, 2011

Kate Middleton’s Face Mysteriously Appears On A Jelly Bean

By: Ami Angelowicz / April 14, 2011

Sightings of Jesus and the Virgin Mary are so passe. The new IT sighting to have is of almost-princess, Kate Middleton. A UK couple was ecstatic when they found Kate’s face peering back at them from their jar full of jelly beans. “I saw her immediately. She was literally lying there staring back at me… More »

David Letterman Fixates On Courteney Cox’s Nip Slip

Courteney Cox appeared on David Letterman’s couch last night, and the two chatted about her recent vacation to St. Barts. David took the opportunity to show some photos of Courteney strutting in a bikini. “You know when the paparazzi are there, so that’s real, but I was working it pretty hard,” said Courteney. “I… More »

Girl Talk: My Sister Taught Me How To Masturbate

By: Amy Gall / April 14, 2011

I was 14 and I was having slippery feelings. I was having them for Roelle, the sophomore with giant tits who told me she liked my shirt, before crawling under a wool blanket to make out with her boyfriend on the front lawn of the high school. I was having them for Eleanor, who told… More »

Bowled Over By Your Generosity

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 14, 2011

Is your dishware looking worse for wear? Relegate those chipped IKEA bowls to feeding Fluffy her cat food and splurge on cute new dishware from Fish’s Eddy. These clementine-orange bowls and mugs will perk up any breakfast cereal or afternoon cup of tea with punchy polka dots and stripes. The best part is that 5… More »

Pap Smears At Walgreens?!

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 14, 2011