Vanity Fair Harshes On Jessica Simpson

In the June issue of Vanity Fair, writer Rich Cohen forgoes the usual bowing down that occurs in celebrity features. Instead, there is only a little reverential treatment of cover girl Jessica Simpson and a fair amount of criticism — well, at least for a glossy profile.

There have been danger signs. First, the sudden weight gain, as evidenced by pictures that turned up in the tabloids earlier this year showing the starlet, onstage, looking less than slender, holding the microphone like a turkey leg, and wearing what were described everywhere as “mom jeans.”

She didn’t want to talk about her weight, so, of course, that’s all I could think of—it gilded each question in my mind: What are you working on now [that you’re fat]? Do you see yourself as part of a class, with Christina and Britney [or are you too fat]? Do you feel that your relationship with Tony Romo has affected his performance as a quarterback [because you are fat]?

And our personal favorite:

As an actress, she’s slightly less skillful than the actress who replaced Suzanne Somers on Three’s Company.

[Vanity Fair] Keep reading »

Eight Secrets You Need To Know About The Penis

Days like this make me love my job. I spent the last hour reading an article about the human penis: “Secrets of the Phallus: Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?” Written by Jesse Bering at Scientific American, the piece explores the research of evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup at SUNY Albany, who has spent his life wondering why in the hell the human penis is so funny looking. After the jump, eight impressive and interesting tidbits from his research, including how I might someday bear the child of Ryan Gosling. Keep reading »

Crave: Demitasse Moustache Necklace

Apparently Nietzsche, like hipsters, wore a mustache while nattering on about how God is dead. Or so says Demitasse Jewelry vis-a-vis this funky little Nietszche ‘stache necklace. Sterling silver is the cheapest, but if you’ve got the money and a thing for philosophers, you can score a 14-karat one for $455. With all the coin we’ve spent on upper lip bleaching since puberty, this is just the kind of moustache we’ve been looking for! [Starting at $75, Demitasse Jewelry] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Cyndi Lauper Says No Flash Photography!

Outside the Lady GaGa concert in New York City last night, the ‘80s icon kept her legs together while exiting a cab so no one could get a shot of her she-bop. Take note, young pop stars. This is how you do it. [NYC, 5/3/09] Keep reading »

“True Life”: My Mom Is Pressuring Me To Get A Boob Job!

This weekend there was a marathon of MTV’s “True Life,” all focused on body image issues, which made for an insanely unproductive Saturday for me. On “True Life: I Hate My Small Breasts,” Shacole, 18, was extremely insecure about her 32A cup but didn’t want to get breast implants, despite the fact that her mother really, really thought she should. Shacole’s mother Nicole, who has small breasts, thought her daughter should get her “boobs” enhanced if she wanted a chance at becoming a professional cheerleader — although she was quick to emphasize that wasn’t the reason she thought her daughter should get implants. “You need them,” her mother said. Nicole even suggested that Shacole join her in posting pictures of herself on a website where donors can sponsor breast enhancement surgery for those “in need.” Obviously, Nicole was a terrible mother with no concern over shredding her daughter’s self-esteem, due in no small part to her own insecurities, which she masks in gross, faux-confident exhibitionism. Hooray for Shacole, who didn’t give into her mom’s pressure and instead dealt with her low self-esteem through meditation.

Everyone in this episode of “True Life” referred to breasts as “boobs.” Every time, the entire time. Maybe if these women saw their breasts as part of their bodies, rather than ridiculously nicknamed accessories, they’d be happier with what they have naturally. Keep reading »

Lessons From Mom: Love Yourself

We’re celebrating moms this week in preparation for Mother’s Day this Sunday, May 10. What’s the best thing your mother ever taught you? Tell us by sending an email to tips@thefrisky.com or tweeting @thefrisky. Keep reading »

What’s With Guys Wanting Women Who Don’t Speak?

This morning, I flew back to New York and caught up on my pop music by listening to the Top 20on20 on XM radio, the one perk Airtran provides. Most of the music was expected — Lady GaGa, Miley Cyrus, Black Eyed Peas — but I’d never heard one of the songs that made it into the top 20: “Don’t Trust Me,” by the Boulder, CO, band 3OH!3. At first, I thought it was pretty catchy. That is, until it got to this part of the song:

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
I said, shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but I couldn’t believe a pop song with such offensive lyrics was a hit. Not only is it regularly played on XM’s 20on20, but it popped to number 13 on Billboard’s Hot 100. What do I find wrong with these lyrics? The band disrespects a historically honored woman who persevered despite limitations — she could neither hear nor see, and yet she made a difference in the world. And the lyrics imply the guys don’t want someone who talks. They want a woman without a mouth, who doesn’t speak and uses her body to communicate, rather than making any noise. Keep reading to listen to the song yourself. Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Could A Bundchen-Brady Baby Be On The Way?

That’s what the blogs are buzzing after the recently married couple was spotted leaving a doctor’s office. [NYC, 5/4/09] Keep reading »

Sex Ed Through Text Messaging

If you take a shower before you have sex, are you less likely to get pregnant? Does a normal penis have wrinkles? If my BF doesn’t like me to be loud during sex but I can’t help it, what am I supposed to do? These questions were texted to the Birds and Bees Text Line, the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina’s latest effort to provide teens between 14 and 19 with sex education and information. Within 24 hours, every text sent in is answered by a nameless, faceless adult from the center who gives a cautious, nonjudgmental response via text. The Birds and the Bees Text Line started on February 1 and reaches teens through the one device that consumes their lives — their cellphones. Keep reading »

Mother’s Day Gift Guide: The Single & Dating Mom

mothers day gg single g6 jpg
If your mom is single, she needs to get out of the house and meet new people, especially if you’re no longer in the nest. It’s time she gets back out into the world — but she can’t mingle in a pair of mom jeans. Enter relaxed boyfriend jeans and FMPs, which she can wear to dance classes that will make her feel sexy.
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular
  • We’re Loving