The Top Five Dating Guides Of All Time

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This weekend “He’s Just Not That Into You” topped the box office charts with a whopping $27,465,000. Dismissed as “puerile” by the New York Times and called “charming” by E!, the star-studded ensemble flick (Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Ben Affleck and more) may not be Oscar material. Still, it pays satisfying homage to the books that have guided us through dating hell.

Whether you’re agonizing over that first date with the first class schmuck or you’re an old hand at husband hunting, reading has always been fundamental to decoding love. We break down the five essential and endlessly enlightening dating guides of all time, so you don’t have to.

What Men Really Want For Valentine’s Day

Guys have it easy when it comes to Valentine’s Day gift-giving. There are so many completely obvious options: lingerie, flowers, jewelry, chocolate. Sure, we might not want those things, but at least it’s a starting point. To help you find a gift for your boy that will be appreciated, we asked eight guys in cities around the country what they hope to get on Feb. 14. Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Jay-Z Is Going Kick Chris Brown’s Butt, “Gossip Girl” Guys Are Stinky

  • Chris Brown reportedly told Rihanna, “I’m going to kill you,” as he allegedly choked her until she lost consciousness. [Perez Hilton]
  • Jay-Z was enraged when he heard about Chris Brown allegedly assaulting Rihanna. According to a source, he said, “Chris is a walking dead man. He messed with the wrong crew.” [New York Post]
  • While Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walked the red carpet at the British Film and Television Arts Awards, their four eldest children terrorized guests at the Dorchester Hotel. [National Enquirer]
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    You Got Your Angelina Jolie In My Lipstick

    I’m not sure how I feel about this. Am I supposed to take this Angelina Jolie lipstick and stick it in my mouth? And Brad Pitt, too? For some reason, these micro-sculpted lipsticks of the heads of the Two Greatest Celebrities of Our Time make me want to bite off their craniums. But maybe that’s just me. Feelunique.com has teamed up with artist Willard Wigan to create these micro-lip-stars, which are being sold on eBay to raise money for breast cancer awareness. It’s an homage to the “most kissable couple” for Valentine’s Day, apparently. Frankly, I don’t know if either one of these busts looks like Brad or Angie. Brad looks more like some depressed businessman debating whether or not to throw himself out the window. Angie looks like she caught a really strong headwind. And God knows what they’d look like after you used them. Or maybe you’re not supposed to use them. Just stick ‘em in the fridge or something. Who knows! It’s for charity. So, I guess, that’s, like, a good thing. So far, the top bid is £205, or $303. [Feelunique.com] Keep reading »

    How To Put Your V In Valentine’s Day

    Valentine’s Day sucks for single people. Yeah, that’s what your disgustingly cute couple friends think, but they’ve got their heads too far up each others’ butts that night to look around and see how many people are out, single and ready to mingle! Unless you’re a sappy saint, getting laid on V-Day is like buying candy from the drug store. You can get whatever you like cheap and easy! So miss, don’t get sour, go out and eat someone sweet. Here’s how to really feel screwed on the Hallmark holiday…. Keep reading »

    Quickies!: A Sexy Fake Perfume Ad, More Chris Brown Details, & “Grey’s” Departures

  • This is a little too abstract for us to completely understand, but it includes two of our biggest girl crushes ever, so we thought we’d share. Roman Polanski directed a fake commercial for a fake perfume called Greed. This faux ad is supposedly commenting on the hype that surrounds the launch of new luxury products. Whatever, we want to steal Williams’ Little Black Riding Hood look. [DazedDigital.com]
  • Rihanna’s grandmother said people shouldn’t worry about Rihanna because she’s doing fine and doesn’t have a broken nose. Thanks for the update Nana! [Perez Hilton]
  • The “Got Milk” folks won’t renew Chris Brown’s ad campaign when it expires this week. Similarly, Wrigley’s Doublemint has suspended the ads featuring Brown until the issue is resolved. Oh, and radio stations are already stopping playing Brown’s music. [DListed and Cleveland.com]
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    Single People Kick Butt

    Couples always seem to catch a lucky break over Valentine’s Day. They can’t just be happy to have someone to spend the day with. No! That’s not enough for couples; they seem to get all the cool Valentine’s Day promotions as well. For example, many hotels are offering cute weekend getaways, restaurants always have romantic dinner specials, and the most relaxing place in the world, the spa, is offering couples massages and packages. Everywhere I look, it’s “free for couples” this, and “lovers special” that. Ugh! Well, it’s time I take my frustration out on something… Keep reading »

    iPhone Gets In The Valentine’s Day Spirit

    Love is in the air and on your iPhone. The phone that does it all has created some interesting applications to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Everyone knows about edible candy hearts, but now, candy hearts are virtual. The Candy Hearts app allows you to write a cute inscription to your loved one, up to four lines and you can pick any color to put them on. iFlirt is a little lamer, and includes pick-up lines, flirting and dating tips — just in case you’re still trying to land a Valentine’s Day date. iDesire will get you in the mood for love — just shake the phone to spin the wheel and perform commands on your partner, like touch kiss or lick your partner’s ears neck or cheek! [I really hope "penis" and "vagina" are among the body parts. -- Editor] Love quotes is the application to impress someone with your extensive poetic knowledge. Browse the library filled with romantic poetry and woo your significant other by quoting a few phrases. Obviously, if a drunk guy stumbles up to you at the bar on 2/14 and starts slurring Elizabeth Barrett Browning with an iPhone in his hand, you’ll know wassup. And my personal favorite, iPropose, lets you send your marriage proposal over the phone with a yes or no option. This phone really can do everything, including sucking the romance out of a marriage proposal. All apps are $.99. [iTunes] Keep reading »

    AIDS Gels May Offer Women Protection

    AIDS researchers are one step closer to finding another method of protection that can help stop the spread of HIV and AIDS among women. Dr. Salim Abdool Karim of the Center for the AIDS Program of Research in South Africa and his colleagues have tested two protective gels, one called PRO 2000 and the other called BufferGel, in trying to find a microbicide (that’s the fancy scientific word for something that reduces the chance that you’ll be infected by a virus or bacteria) that will protect women from HIV/AIDS when their partners aren’t wearing condoms. Among the 3,000 women tested, PRO 2000 reduced the rate of HIV infection by a third. “We do not regard it as a definitive conclusion that PRO 2000 is a microbicide but we certainly view it as very promising,” said Karim at a conference of AIDS experts in Montreal. Unfortunately, his team was unable to find any evidence that BufferGel helped. The study was only designed to determine whether the gels were safe, since other, similar studies revealed that gels and creams like PRO 2000 and BufferGel actually increased the likelihood of infection. [Reuters] Keep reading »

    Why It’s Better Not To Have A Valentine

    Sometime when I wasn’t looking, Valentine’s Day metamorphosed from a C-list kids’ holiday, with pink and red candy and construction-paper hearts, into an extravaganza. The regular-person equivalent of Oscar Night, but instead of Best Picture or Best Supporting Actress, prizes are given for Best Achievement in the Acquisition of a Leading Man.

    But what if you don’t have a new pet “project” to promote or arm candy to show off? Better stay home rather than remind everyone that you couldn’t land the role of girlfriend, even for one night. Cause being single is cause for as much mortification as a bad dress on the red carpet. Keep reading »

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