Virginia Is For Frowners

People with ugly driver’s license photos, the state of Virginia feels your pain. The Department of Motor Vehicles in Virginia banned smiles—yes, smiles—and ordered all new photo-takers to make a “neutral expression” in their portraits. The DMV would like to develop a facial recognition system to standardize documentation and thwart fraudsters and identity thieves. OK, Big Brother, whatever you say.

Just a cranky DMV clerk barking “No smiling!” isn’t enough, though! The DMV’s software can detect and reject “attempts at exuberance or human warmth,” meaning if you flash some dimples or let your pearly whites crack through your lips, a computer will make you take your picture again.

Even though Virginia is just one of 37 DMV agencies nationwide to use the facial recognition software, Virginian drivers aren’t pleased. Groused one driver, “It makes everyone look like criminals.” [Washington Post]
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Quick Pic: Is Nicole Kidman Pregnant?

Or did she just eat something? [NYC, 5/27/09]
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Whose Home? Bueller?…Bueller?…Bueller?

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“For sale: 4 BR, 4 bath house in fancy Chicago neighborhood. Two separate buildings, steel and glass, sticking out over a ravine. 1986 red Ferrari may or may not be in garage.” Sound familiar? Yep, it’s Cameron Frye’s pad from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Ever since I saw that movie when I was, like, eight years old, that house has been my dream crib. And, lucky me, it’s now for sale for a cool $2.3 million. How will I scrape up the cash? [Chicago Sun Times]

Here are some other movie homes I would give an arm to live in.

Rihanna Is Kanye’s New Candy Girl

Rihanna stars in Kanye West’s video for “Paranoid.” Why is she appearing in a music video for a song she doesn’t even sing on? We have a few ideas:

  1. Kanye is ditching Amber Rose for Rihanna.
  2. Kanye thought it would help Rihanna’s image by giving her some exposure unrelated to Chris Brown.
  3. Rihanna wanted to procrastinate on putting out a new album even longer and is doing whatever she can to fill her day.
  4. Rihanna had a lot of ’80s-style clothes in her closet and thought it was high time they got put to use.
  5. Rihanna wanted to showcase the moves she’s learned in dance class. If this is the case, keep working on them, girl.

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For People Who Are Blind, Looks Still Matter

Have you ever wondered if people who are blind can experience “love at first sight” without being able to see? Well, Damon Rose, who is blind, writes in an article for BBC News, that they can, but with different criteria. It’s more like “first listen” than “first sight” when it comes to attraction, and voices can communicate everything from humor and intelligence to quirkiness and attitude. If you have a gross, croaky voice, well, good luck finding love.

But don’t think that just because they can’t see, blind people aren’t as shallow as the rest of us when it comes to looks. Rose writes that when he and his male classmates at a boarding school for blind children heard that the new girl was blond, she instantly became attractive in their minds simply because flaxen-haired women are classified in society’s “hot” category. Instantly, this girl became popular, and all the boys wanted her despite not knowing whether she looked like Blake Lively or Brooke Hogan. When one of Rose’s blind friends was told that the girl he was totally into was a dog, he dumped her. Apparently, superficiality doesn’t discriminate. It’s an ailment from which we all suffer. [BBC] Keep reading »

Diva Kate Gosselin Puts J. Lo Out Of Work

Kate Gosselin’s been on nine magazine covers in the last month alone, her show premiere had almost 10 million viewers, and her long-in-front-party-in-the-back hair style is the hottest ‘do since Jennifer Aniston’s “Rachel.” And now, Ms. Thing is continuing her world domination by out-diva-ing major diva Jennifer Lopez. According to reports J. Lo was in talks with TLC to have her own reality show but didn’t want to have her children on air, and instead wanted to focus on the behind-the-scenes workings of launching her latest perfume. Yeah, apparently TLC thought that was kinda lame, too. So when “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ killed it in the ratings on Monday, the TLC peeps shelved the J. Lo show entirely. Brutal. Keep reading »

Crave: DiorShow Waterproof Mascara

If you’re craving something couture but aren’t willing to empty your savings, try DiorShow mascara. The mascara comes in three seductive colors, is encased in a gorgeous tube, and costs a manageable 24 bucks. Its brush is thick and full, which means your lashes will be too. And best of all? It’s water-proof, which makes it perfect for summer splashin’. Whether you’re preparing for a night on the town or a day at the beach, if you’re looking for some bold, frisky lashes, this is the perfect purchase. Who knew “Dior” and “bargain” could go hand in hand? [$24, Sephora]
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20-Year-Old Lila Rose Emerges As Anti-Abortion Crusader

After using clandestine tactics to investigate Planned Parenthood, Lila Rose, 20, has become known as an anti-abortion crusader. She staged her own sting at the clinics to prove her claim that the organization routinely covers up sexual abuse. She says Planned Parenthood counselors don’t report statutory rapes, as the law requires, and often encourage the girls to lie about their age or the identity of their partner. “Planned Parenthood is looking at these young girls as a plumbing problem: ‘We’ll get you that abortion and send you on your way,’” Rose told Reuters in an interview. “And that’s disrespecting two human lives. It’s destroying her pre-born child and sending her back to an abuser.” She has posted her secretly recorded videos on the website for her non-profit group, LiveAction.org, which she started at age 15. Keep reading »

Everyone’s Talking About Dick These Days

Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive. Keep reading »

Get The Stank Out Of Your Weave With A Wig Purifier

If you think it’s tough to get the smoke stench out of her hair after a night out, imagine if you’re rocking a wig where bacteria and odor can live for weeks at a time—gnarly. Luckily the brilliant folks at Ozone Clean understood our plight and launched the “World’s First Wig Purifier.” The 12-by-21-inch contraption features special technology that promises to sterilize and deodorize your weave in just ten minutes with magic “ozone air.” If we could only wash men out of our hair so quickly. [$367, Ozone Clean] Keep reading »

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