One time, I was dating this guy, and I said something smarty-pants, and he was like, “Susannah, for you, nothing is sacred.” And I was like, “Uh, yeah?” This porn spoof of “The Simpsons” brings the sentiment to mind. To see something like the Simpsons family turned into porno circus freaks has traumatized my brain, and I am not sure I will ever recover. I surmise the premise is Homer is making a porno, and every one makes an appearance. Everyone who is also yellow-green. I feel ill. Help me. [Boing Boing
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After much thought and Advil, I have decided I am going on a sex/dating and drinking sabbatical. I went on a six-month sex sabbatical after my breakup from my fiance a few years ago — or, rather, I announced I was going on a six-month sex sabbatical and then it lasted for, I think, around two. It wasn’t a complete failure, in other words. Hilariously, I went on a sex sabbatical because all of my efforts to get laid were being thwarted and I figured I might as well decide to NOT have sex with a purpose.
Meanwhile, I have never taken a significant break from drinking. I didn’t start drinking until I was in college — I believe most people start in high school, so I was a late bloomer in more ways than one — and I remember the night I got drunk the first time as well as you can possibly remember a hazy night 13 years ago. The amount and frequency of my drinking has gone up and down over the years, but I generally consider myself to be a responsible boozer. I don’t drink and drive (easy when you don’t have a car!), I don’t say things I don’t mean, and, for the most part, I don’t do things I actually regret. Keep reading »
Even though we’re not lucky enough to go on a resort vacation this winter, we’re still willing to help you enjoy your time away. Sam Hecht’s Jetlag Alarm Clock is so small and easy to operate that you’ll wake up in time for your sightseeing activities and your flight home. This cool clock, which is half the size of a passport, keeps time on one side and your alarm time on the other. And there’s a lock so the clock stays set, even in your luggage. You don’t have to fiddle with the hotel alarm clock or risk your smartphone losing battery power in the middle of the night. You’re welcome. Now, don’t forget to send us a postcard!
“I call this my comfy clothes. I wear this around the house to clean in,” Coco Tweeted about this see-through, purple body stocking. Sure, why not? Better than Pajama Jeans I suppose. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Sometimes scandal comes from the most unlikely of places. Like, say, a jam cruise featuring little-remembered “American Idol” Taylor Hicks? Hicks was set to perform, along with The Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir and Maceo Parker, on the six-day “Bonnaroo at Sea” to the Caribbean. But then federal agents raided the ship before it even set sail and seized marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, hash oil, Ecstasy, and prescription drugs, along with drug paraphernalia. After the raid, the ship was allowed to leave port and it’s unclear whether any charges were pressed against any of the performing musicians. Who knew that the gray-haired Joe Cocker sound-a-like would be the biggest partier of ‘em all? [Spinner] Keep reading »
Obviously, my cat Cleo can predict the future. She knows what team will win this year’s Super Bowl and who will be the victor in the 2012 presidential election. OK I’m totally lying. The only thing she is psychic about is when I’m going to feed her, and that’s mainly because the event is preceded by me opening the cabinet door. However, according to a new survey by Petside.com, I am one of the few who doesn’t think my pet has psychic abilities. According to the survey, 66 percent of pet owners report that their little ones know when bad weather is approaching, and 43 percent are sure that their pets can anticipate bad news. Another huge chunk say their pets can sense health problems. Which has me wondering—do you think your pet has a sixth sense? [via Newser]
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