Isabella Rossellini Has A Six-Foot-Long Penis

In our science classes growing up, we learned about cell reproduction, animal reproduction and, of course, human reproduction. We wish Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Porno” had been around back when we were in seventh grade so we could have learned the birds and the bees while having a laugh, rather than squirming in our seat every time our teacher said the word “sperm.”

“Green Porno” is a series of short films, all two minutes or shorter in length, that show Rossellini dressed up as various creatures (including a whale with a six-foot dick) and explaining in her beautiful Italian accent the various details about how they procreate.

Rossellini has always been interested in animal behavior, ever since she was a little girl, and she decided to focus on the sex lives of animals in her short film series because, well, sex sells. “Not many people are interested in animal behavior, but everyone is interested in sex,” she tells us. So, she decided to make the series about how animals have sex, because it would be “varied, and scandalous, and different.” The short films aren’t meant to illuminate us on our own sex lives — after all, a barnacle probably doesn’t share the same sexual problems as you — but Rossellini does want you to learn something. “It’s supposed to be funny,” she says. “I would like the first reaction to be a laugh, and the second reaction to be, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that about animals!’”

The second season of “Green Porno” starts April 1, but if you haven’t seen the first season, catch up on it now at SundanceChannel.com/GreenPorno. Seriously, you should watch it. Sex hasn’t been this comical since your first time. Keep reading »

Sliding Scale: Espadrille Wedges, Floral Tops, & Trench Coats

Three big trends for spring to fit every budget!

ESPADRILLE WEDGES
We’re stoked that espadrilles are making a big comeback this season because they’re the ultimate multi-purpose shoe. They’re the sort of dress-up/dress-down accessory that works particularly well with jeans and simple dresses. We’re loving the candy-colored varieties that are popping up all over stores, that add an extra zing to your spring.

  1. This sweet criss-cross strap slims and flatters the ankles. [$170, Bettye Muller, NeimanMarcus.com]
  2. We love the retro feel of this peep-toe sandal. [$69, Victoria's Secret, VictoriasSecret.com]
  3. Satin fabric and a flower detail lend a classy touch to these shoes. [$60, J. Crew, JCrew.com]
  4. Patent leather makes the pretty colors of these espadrilles shine. [$24, Newport News, Newport-News.com]

Keep reading »

New Additions To The “New Moon” Cast

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Canadian supermodel Noot Seear has been cast as Heidi, a “fisher” who lures humans to the Volturi, in “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.” Summit Entertainment announced recently that Native American/First Nation actors were cast as the Wolf Pack. Check out the rumored new additions.

Hollywood Guns: The Arms Of Female Celebrities

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Everyone is talking about Michelle Obama’s arms right now, including the Associated Press and the New York Times. There’s even a blog, FirstGuns.tumblr.com, written by Obama’s arms. Who knew arms could talk! Since arms are the the body part du jour, we’re going to focus on some other famous ladies’ guns. These actresses have some of the most fit bodies in Hollywood. Can you guess whose arms these are?

Marry Your Mate Without Losing Yourself

I realize how lucky I am to be married to a great guy who I love. That being said, I am always worried about losing myself in his world, losing my independence, and becoming a watered down version of myself. First, we change our names, then we change our city, then we change our eating habits—you get the picture, right? So, how do I address my concerns? I constantly try keep myself in check and, so far, I believe it’s worked. Just being aware is half the battle. Here is my marry-but-don’t-morph checklist for a successful marriage: Keep reading »

Beauty How To: Pin-Up Girl Pompadour

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PIN UP GIRL POMPADOUR

From Lucille Ball to Gwen Stefani, the pompadour is the classic hair style that will polish off any outfit with pin up girl flair. The best part is, in five to seven minutes, you can take your hair straight-from-shower wet to set for the day. No wonder all those Pink Ladies had so much time to make up sexy poses. Now, here’s how you get banged in seven easy steps!

YOU WILL NEED
blow dryer
fine-tooth comb
2 bobby pins
hair tie of your choice
hairspray
bangs that at least go to the tip of your nose

Would You Give Up Casual Sex For 30 Days?

The ladies over at Lemondrop are talking about a 30-Day No Casual Sex Challenge. Suggested by sex and relationships writer Samantha Brett at The Sydney Morning Herald, this is a month of no casual sex that might help you distinguish whether any guy is worth your time when you’re just starting to get to know each other. With hormones flying, it’s easy to overlook early problems in a relationship until the bedroom passion starts to wane a few months down the line. But is forgoing casual sex for 30 days even that much of a challenge? I think not, especially if you don’t meet any men during that time period. Amelia tried not to do anything physical for six months, and she had no problem getting past the 30-day mark. In fact, she made it all the way to 16 weeks, so a month ain’t no thang. After the jump 30 ways to spend your time that don’t involve intercourse, dry humping, or getting yourself off. Keep reading »

Padma Lakshi Makes Love To A Cheeseburger

Quickies!: The Skinny On Scarlett’s New Body

  • While typically curvaceous Scarlett Johansson has repeatedly claimed to never exercise or diet, her newly slim frame is supposedly credited to an extreme diet regime. [Defamer]
  • Eek! Cuteness! Fifty animals that hate baths! [Best Week Ever]
  • A sexy reason to say no to first date sex. [Your Tango]

    Keep reading »

  • The Boob Tube: Hot Weekend TV For March 28-29th 2009

    Saturday

  • “Real Housewives of New York City” on Bravo at 9 am to 12pm
  • “E! News Weekend” on E! at 9 am
  • “One Tree Hill” on Soap at 9 am
    Keep reading »
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