Lindsay Lohan Teaches Us How Not To Break Up

Lindsay Lohan is messier than eating a burrito in the back of a school bus. She just can’t keep it together! She’s been chasing SamRo around town, allegedly stalking her beat makin’ bro Mark, tried to crash her twin sister Charlotte’s fashion party, and now the fam is considering filing a restraining order. Seriously, stick a fork in these love birds because they’re done cooking! But from loss comes lessons — here’s what we can, and Lindsay should, learn about how to handle a breakup.

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Ask The Astrosexologist: How Do I Choose Between Two Men?

I am a Sagittarius (11/27/75). About 12 years ago I met a Cancer (06/26/73) and from the beginning, it felt like there was an instant bond between us. Over the years we became really good friends and recently started dating. It’s been going well, though I don’t hear much from him. He goes out of town a lot, so I only get to spend time with him twice a month. During the times he’s been away, I’ve spent a lot of time with my single friends going out dancing and that’s when I met a younger Capricorn (12/27/87), who is fun, exciting and the best kisser ever. I’ve been spending less and less time with Cancer and more and more with Capricorn, but I’m not sure if there is any long term potential with him. I would really like to find someone to settle down with, but I just don’t know which one to choose, please help. – Saucy Sag Keep reading »

Stupid Hot Levi Johnston Hits “The Early Show”

Levi Johnston continued along the media parade route this morning, stopping by “The Early Show” with his mom and sister Mercede to discuss this whole Palin family debacle. Among the revelations? Despite what the Palin’s are saying, he did live under their roof even before Bristol got knocked up and Sarah tots knew he was stickin’ it in. Also, he hates it when people call his family white trash, and, oh yeah, he’s totally open to modeling! Clip above. Keep reading »

Please Retire The Circus/Carnival Concert Theme

(From left to right): Pink’s “Funhouse” tour; Madonna’s “Sticky & Sweet” tour; Britney Spears’ “Circus” tour

Pink surprisingly jumped on the circus-themed concert bandwagon with her “Funhouse” tour costumes. When a wannabe badass like Pink starts jumping on a trend, it’s time to retire it. So, we implore these concert producers to stop with the three-ring, freak show madness. Even Katy Perry refused to do the circus thing for a recent concert, saying, “That’s really being done by a lot of people right now.”

[Images: Splash News] Keep reading »

Major American Designers Pissed At Michelle Obama For Not Picking Their Clothes

Michelle Obama could only continue as everyone’s favorite woman for so long. An itty bitty backlash against the First Lady has begun, and it stems from her fashion choices. Last week, in a WWD article, designer Oscar de la Renta lashed out against Michelle’s clothing choices:

American fashion right now is struggling. I think I understand what [Obama and her advisers] are doing, but I don’t think that is the right message at this particular point….I don’t object to the fact that Mrs. Obama is wearing J. Crew to whatever because the diversity of America is what makes this country great. But there are a lot of great designers out there. I think it’s wrong to go in one direction only.

And he’s not the only one who wishes Michelle would stop favoring young designers… Keep reading »

Crave: Oh Deer! Mocha Pumps

Once you’ve covered all your shoe necessities — neutral pumps, knee-high boots, ballet flats — it’s time to have fun with your footwear. We like the idea of using cork for the shoe upper as opposed to the platform. Plus the cap toe looks like someone had a spray paint accident, adding another surprise element. Now that Oh Deer! has stopped painting the soles of their shoes red like that other famous shoemaker, we know we won’t lose cool points for rocking these. [$119.99, Piperlime] Keep reading »

Full Frontal Feminism: Meet The Muffia!

Sinead King and Katie O’Brien are two twentysomething Brits who make up the Muffia, a performance art duo which aims to make a feminist statement by flashing their merkin (that’s a pubic wig!) clad crotches in the streets of London. Their message? That more women, and men for that matter, need to be discussing issues that are relevant to women’s lives. “Why don’t we resent the way the media portrays women?” they question. “Does no one care that women are mutilating themselves with cosmetic surgery? Why do so few young women know what feminism is?”

In addition to the “pubic performances,” they also dress up in body stockings, scrawling messages like, “Lose a few pounds” on each other’s figures. O’Brien even camped outside Topshop, vomiting into a bucket, to protest the retailer’s use of ultra-thin models. In general, their performances/antics/actions have garnered some laughs, some praise, and a few detractors. Performance art can often be, um, really bad, but I find O’Brien and King’s message important, even if their methods might be shocking to some of you. What do you think? [Guardian UK]
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Mind Of Man: “Guilty Pleasures” Are For Uptight Chumps

Men don’t have “guilty pleasures.” We own, nay, celebrate what’s bad for us. Our obsessions are points of pride, not shame. You’ll never see a guy wolf down a small mountain of waffles with a side of pig and squeal, “OMG, I can’t beliiiiieeeeve I ate everything! Tee! Hee!”

We will shamelessly sit in a nest of pizza crusts playing video games for endless hours. Unabashed tears will crawl out of the corners of our eyes when the hometown team chokes at the last minute (tears so manly, of course, that they leave little craters in linoleum). Beer will be quaffed, their caloric potency mocked. These are the things that make life worth living. That, and never ever getting bored of slyly peeping springtime legs stretching out from under brand-new short skirts. Keep reading »

Premature Ejaculators: If You Spray It, They Will Still Come Too Quickly.

A new spray called PSD502 has been developed that delays premature ejaculation up to six times longer, according to a study of 300 European men. Minute men and disgruntled women everywhere rejoice.

The men were all clinically diagnosed with premature ejaculation and received either a placebo or the spray which contains 7.5 milligrams of lidocaine and 2.5 mg of prilocaine. Five minutes before intercourse, the men sprayed their wangs and used a stopwatch to record the time from penetration to ejaculation. The treatment group went from 0.6 minutes to 3.8 minutes of sex compared one minute in those who used the placebo spray. Seventy-four-percent of the men in the treatment group could last 2 minutes before ejaculating while only 22 percent could last that long in the placebo group. Keep reading »

Eminem’s “We Made You” Video

Eminem’s “We Made You” video pokes fun at celebrities who have made headlines over the past couple years — Bret Michaels for his skanky love search, Jessica Simpson for her weight (should Em really be throwing stones?), Amy Winehouse for her yellow teeth and general cracked-out appearance, Lindsay Lohan for dating Sam Ronson, and Kim Kardashian for her huge booty. The video even features the star of “Nailin’ Palin,” a Hustler porno spoofing Sarah Palin. Obviously, Eminem has been reading tabloids and watching reality TV during his time off, but it’s all in good fun, or at least Kim Kardashian thinks so. “I think this video is so funny! I am a huge Eminem fan and find it flattering that he would rap about me,” said Kim. “He’s a bit harsh about some other celebrities, but you just have to let it go and have a sense of humor. Personally, I’m honored.” The video is rather hilarious, but the song isn’t that funny, entertaining, or catchy when you don’t listen and watch. It just sounds like the usual Eminem fare updated for 2009. Kudos to Dr. Dre for a banging beat, though. Keep reading »

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