What Can Lindsay Lohan Do To Save Her Career?

Lindsay Lohan, who is virtually bankrupt and recently split with sugar mama Sam Ronson, is expanding her 6126 leggings line with pantyhose. This just sounds like a last ditch effort to make some money. I mean, pantyhose are just plain boring. What’s next, tube socks? Since hosiery generally goes for less than $20, we came up with some ideas for Lindsay to save her career and help her stay relevant, you know, because occasionally appearing on magazine covers and endorsing products doesn’t a lasting career make. Keep reading »

What Your Breasts Say About Your Bedroom Skills

According to Now Public, way back in 18th Century Spain, scientists believed you could gauge how good a woman was in bed by just examining her boobs. Hm, that sounds like a lame excuse for nerdy dudes to get their grubby hands on ye ole girls…but alas “sternomancy,” the study of the bumps on the breast bone, was actually considered to be a legitimate and even divine discipline of yesteryear. Nowadays, you don’t need a PhD in ta-ta’s to be able to tell what your pair says about you. We’ve broken all the boobies down for you!
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The Most Stressful Moments Of A Relationship

A new study suggests that the most stressful time of the week is 11:45 on Tuesday morning. The idea is that most people in the workforce coast through Mondays catching up on gossip with their co-workers, favorite websites, and online social networks. By Tuesday reality sets in and they spend the morning going through everything in their real and virtual in-boxes that they ignored on Monday. Apparently, 11:45 is the time this all comes to a head and people start going bonkers.

The study got me thinking about how there’s a similar cycle of escape-from-and-return-to-reality in our romantic relationships. Exceptional first dates, passionate weekends away, the first “I love you’s,” sweet proposals and romantic honeymoons are all wonderful escapes from the pressures of maintaining a healthy relationship during the stress and monotony of everyday life, but you know they’re always followed by their own “11:45 on Tuesday” moments. After the jump, a timeline of the most stressful moments in a relationship that are guaranteed to kill a mood. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: The First Time He Went Down

I remember my first blow job as if it was yesterday. A stairwell, in a bar, with a guy named Dave Wolf, who, just in case you might forget his last name, had a wolf tattooed on his shoulder. I was a late bloomer, sorta, so my first beej came when I was 19. But certainly guys must have as potent memories of the first time they went down on a girl — where did it happen? What did they think? And from where did they divine that initial technique? It was the perfect Tuesday lunchtime question for the guys on my IM… Keep reading »

This Week In Sex News

There has been a lot of sex-related stuff in the news over the last couple days, which makes complete sense because April is STD Awareness Month, and, you know, the S in STD stands for sexually.

  • A new DNA test for HPV has been much more effective than Pap smears, which means that we might have a fighting chance at beating cervical cancer, which is caused by HPV. Not only is it better at identifying instances of the virus, but scientists say women over 30 could start getting this test just once every three, five, or maybe even 10 years, rather than having a yearly Pap. [NY Times]
  • If you thought oral sex was a safer option than intercourse, shame on you! Not only can you get the usual STD suspects from mouth-genital contact, but now a study published in the International Journal of Cancer says that the incidence of tonsil cancer has tripled in Stockholm since the ’70s, perhaps as a result of increases in oral sex over the years. Tina Dalianis, a professor of tumor virology at the Karolinska Institute has directly linked this tonsil cancer increase to HPV. Basically, it’s possible that you might contract HPV in your mouth, and then that could develop into throat cancer after 20 to 30 years. [USA Today]
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    I Now Pronounce You Fully Covered

    Marrying for health insurance is nothing new. Even I proposed to two men when my health insurance was canceled recently (sadly, they both said no). But even when love isn’t the complete reason for getting married, most couples still have enough time to plan their dream wedding, whatever that may be. Things worked out differently, however, for writer Carrie Sloan, who wed her fiance Adam Lisberg in the 36 hours between being laid off and April 1, the deadline to be added to his health insurance. Keep reading »

    Dating Amelia: Red Wine + Tapas = A Clever And Dangerous First Date Activity

    Ugh, ouch. Copious amounts of red wine and very, very, very tiny plates of food – genius way to get your date lubed up.

    So, last night I went on a date with this guy – oh, let’s call him The Doodler, since he’s an artist – that a good guy friend of mine set me up with. While being set up with a friend of a friend has its drawbacks – like, what if the date goes terribly and you have to avoid each other in the future? – I really like getting that stamp of approval from someone I trust.

    Before I get into the logistics of the date, a note about artsy guys. They are so much more attractive when they’re ambitious and gainfully employed, rather than starving and lazy. It also helps when they’re actually talented, which The Doodler is. Thank goodness. There’s nothing more awkward than dating someone whose art/music/writing you hate. Keep reading »

    Would You Use A Tampon USB?

    Whether your data flow is light, heavy or super, the tampon USB, which comes in 1GB, 8GB, and 16GB, has your needs covered and will be available soon for an undisclosed amount of money. I shudder to think what might happen if you get the USB tampon confused for the real thing… [via Modern Materialist] Keep reading »

    STD Playlist For The Party In Your Pants

    When a red bump appeared on my crotch, I listened to Antony and the Johnson’s sad album about a dying tranny, “I Am A Bird Now,” while I waited to see a doctor at the walk-in clinic. Clearly, I’m a little dramatic and also, what I thought was the herp wound up just being an ingrown hair. Phew! But next time I get an STD scare, I’m not going to sit around the doctor’s office like a Debbie Downer. Instead, I’m going to listen to this bumpin’ STD Awareness Month playlist, made especially for the party in your pants. So, kids, don’t forget to always use a condom, and headphones!
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    Twitter Tirades: Airport Security Stole Margaret Cho’s Vibrator! Wait, Nevermind!

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