The Real Hotties Of Maxim’s Hot 100

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As if us ladies are not already kept very aware of the Playboy bunny-esque qualities men supposedly find hot, every year lad mag Maxim graciously reminds us of their 100 favorite hotties—who look creepily similar. Big boobs. Bouncy hair. A toned ass. Yawn.

Most of the women who make Maxim drool are glaringly obvious—hi, Anna Kournikova and Scarlett Johannson—and other choices are as downright confusing as we know men to be. (Exhibit A: “Hills”-bot Heidi Montag. Really, Maxim?) But we have to give the magazine a little credit for the few smart, sexy, funny women who they included that we actually like. (Alas, not Tina Fey or Amy Poehler, but there’s always next year.)

So—no offense to blonde extensions and double DDs!— but here are the real hotties in the Maxim hot 100.

Kristin Cavallari Heads For “The Hills”: Where’s She Been For The Past Five Years?

Kristin Cavallari is back! This morning, we learned that the “Laguna Beach” mean girl will be replacing Lauren Conrad as the star of “The Hills.” Dang, we knew her media disappearance over the past few years was too good to be true. The 22-year-old will show up on the May 31st season finale of “The Hills” where she’ll catch the bouquet at Heidi and Spencer’s wedding. Geez, I’d rather catch a live grenade. Keep reading »

Will You Watch “Hitched Or Ditched”?

Hitched or Ditched” is a one-hour reality show in which couples in long-term relationships are challenged by a friend to set a wedding date in a week’s time. The couples not only have to plan their wedding in seven days, but they also have to address whatever issues were keeping them from making the leap into marriage — from fixing relationships with future in-laws to dealing with feelings of jealousy. When the wedding day comes, the couples will have to choose whether to tie the knot or call everything off. So if they decide to get married, then their prize is a free wedding, but if they decide not to get married, then they breakup and have to deal with the ensuing heartache. That sounds a little unfair. But I guess if they know the marriage won’t work, then they’ll be better off in the long run. Will you watch “Hitched or Ditched” when it premieres May 26? Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Denise Richards Has Her Own Dancing Star

Denise Richards picks her daughter up from dance class. [Los Angeles, 5/14/09] Keep reading »

Crave: Sephora Sun Safety Kit

Reason #238 why growing up sucks: no more goody bags at birthday parties. Remember the glee attached to a sudden abundance of loot? Why not treat yourself with Sephora’s new Sun Safety Kit, which comes with 13 mini-products for you to play with. The bag includes some of our good-for-your-skin favorites like Clarins SPF 40, Smashbox Photo Finish, and Murad Essential-C Eye Cream. To add to its functionality, the kit comes packaged in a recycled beach bag you can use all summer. The whole shebang is only $22.50 (but worth $110!), and all the proceeds go to The Skin Cancer Foundation—meaning you won’t just be getting a gift for yourself, you’ll be giving back to others, too. [$22.50, Sephora] Keep reading »

Craigslist’s New “Adult Services” Is The Same ‘Ol “Erotic” Thing

After the whole Craigslist Killer thing, everyone’s fave website has been getting serious heat to regulate the ads on their site. So yesterday, the company announced it was nixing the “erotic services” section, and morphing it into “adult services.” The diff? The company will now review each post before it goes live. How they’ll do that with a staff of 28 people has yet to be clarified. For kicks, let’s compare and contrast the two sections. Just like in high school English class. [Washington Post] Keep reading »

World’s Oldest Erotic Sculpture Found

Yesterday, archaeologists unveiled a 35,000-year-old ivory sculpture of a rather buxom woman that was discovered in a German cave. The sculpture depicts a woman with large breasts, curvy thighs, and a full belly, but she has no feet or head. The archaeologists believe it to be the oldest known carving of the human form. The sculpture suggests that ancient humans, who settled in Europe around 40,000 years ago, were smart enough create symbolic representations of themselves, much they way modern humans do, said University of Tuebingen archaeologist Nicholas Conard, who along with a team discovered the figure in September. Archaeologists don’t know for sure about the purpose of the figure, but they have some ideas…. Keep reading »

Nicole Kidman Does A Schweppes Commercial, Plus Other Mini-Movies

Quick Pic: Hilary Duff Turns On World’s Biggest Phallus

Yeah, too bad it’s just The Empire State Building — unless you’re into that sorta thing like this woman. But it was all for a good cause. The pop star was chosen to light up the city skyline to commemorate the 24th Annual AIDS Walk New York. [NYC, 5/14/09] Keep reading »

WTF?!: The Ten Craziest Sex Stories Of 2009, So Far

It’s only May, but let’s just say, spring has officially sprung! From every corner of the globe, people have been getting freaky in the freakiest ways. Thanks to our equally pervy friends at Fark, we’ve rounded up the 10 strangest close encounters of the sex kind from 2009 so far. From a raccoon who can fend off a rapist, to a soccer player who scored on the field, here the best of the worst humpin’ happenings that’ll truly have you wondering, W-T-F?!

Keep reading »

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