Lady Gaga Wants You To Smell Like Period Sex

There’s going to come a point in this sabbatical of mine where I am really going to miss having sex. And when that time comes, how to fight the urge? Perhaps by titillating the senses that are stimulated by having sex, I can give myself a little “taste,” so to speak, without participating in the act itself. Lady Gaga’s upcoming fragrance should help. According to Fashionista, Gaga wants her first perfume to smell like semen and blood, the combination of which, in my mind at least, will result in Eau de Period Sex. Yes, inhaling the bleach-tinged aroma of salty sweet blood is sure to help me fight my craving for some P for my V. Thanks Gaga! [Fashionista] Keep reading »

The 8 Hottest Delivery Boys On Film

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I always had a huge crush on Patrick Dempsey in “Loverboy.” How hot was he in that Senor Pizza uniform? Minus the mustache of course. How come in real life my delivery boys are never that cute? I’ve been ordering in a lot since the winter hit and I’ve yet to have a hottie show up at my door. Maybe I should try asking for “extra anchovies.” After the jump, some sexy delivery boys that I would like to give a huge tip to.

Quickies: Elton John’s Gay Adoption Magazine Cover Censored & “State Of The Union” Funny Faces

  • A Harps Supermarket in Arkansas put up a “family shield” over Us Weekly‘s cover of Elton John, his husband David Furnish, and their new baby, Zachary, to protect sensitive eyes from the EVILZ of gay love. [Styleite]
  • Kelsey Grammer is allegedly inviting his ex-wife Camille Grammer to his wedding to Kayte Walsh, because she’ll only let their kids attend if she is invited. I love how a friend of Camille’s tells PopEater, “Camille is an amazing human being … for her, it’s all about her children.” Um, yeah, that’s totally why she’s using their kids as a pawn to get an invite to his new nuptials. [PopEater]
  • In Snooki and JWoww’s new reality show, the pair move into a $1.5 million pad but struggle to pay the mortgage and fight about changing the toilet paper rolls. Typical high quality “Jersey Shore”-style programming. Can’t wait! [TMZ]

Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Texas Governor Takes Aim At Abortion Rights

  • Texas Governor Rick Perry wants to fast-track a bill requiring women seeking abortions to have a sonogram taken of the fetus, hear a doctor’s description of its development, and listen to its heartbeat. Perry extolled the bill while speaking at an anti-abortion rally on the 38th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. [Yahoo News]
  • A committee in Iowa’s House of Representatives advanced a bill that would repeal same-sex marriage in the state and ban recognition of same-sex marriages from other states. [Advocate]
  • Last week, Surgeon General Regina Benjamin put out a “call to arms” in support of breastfeeding. We’re all about using boobies to feed babies! (Thanks to commenter earnold14 for the link!) []

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Thank God – It’s A New Heidi Montag Song!

It seems like it’s been a while since we’d heard from Heidi Montag…after she finally stopped bitching about ELECTIVE botched plastic surgery. I assume in her time hidden away from the public, she’s been busy working on new music and guess what! Her new song “Heartbeat” has hit the web!

Behold, we have the new song and it’s a pop piece of s**t … but I’ll let you be the judge of that… Read more… Keep reading »

Shopping Guide: 10 Pairs Of Flare-tastic Wide-Leg Jeans

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Remember, a few years ago, when all of the sudden, skinny jeans became the THING and all of us normal-bodied women (i.e. not rail-thin and six-foot-tall) were like, “WTF, this s**t is going to look like crap on me. What’s wrong with my bootcut and wide-leg jeans, bitch?” And then we drank the skinny jean Kool-Aid because that’s all there was and a girl’s gotta drink, you know? And so now, we’re all used to our skinny jeans and can’t imagine life without their vice-like grip around our ankles? Well, get ready to have your denim world rocked again, ladies. Wide-leg jeans — our old friends! — are back in a big way. Are you scared? I understand. Just remember the resistance you felt to skinny jeans the first time around and how easily you were indoctrinated once you stopped fighting it. The good news is, wide-leg jeans tend to be more flattering on various body types, and with the right shoe they can really elongate the leg, making you look taller. To help bring you into the loving arms of the wide-leg/flare/bell-bottom trend, I’ve assembled 10 pairs of jeans of various price points that you can buy now. Let the sartorial brainwashing begin!
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