Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
If Red Bull gives you wings, than Drank, a new relaxation beverage, gives you the power to stop flapping them. Touted as a chill pill in a purple can, Drank doubled 7-Eleven’s sale expectations during the bev’s testing phase, and its profits were up 198% last year. But before you crack open a can, check out what’s inside the calming potion: Melatonin, rose hips, and valerian root. Melatonin “controls the human sleep cycle,” according to the company’s website, rose hips give you an antioxidant boost, and valerian root tames anxiety and helps the central nervous system get in chill mode. Ahhh, I feel relaxed already.
Oh, but wait, some doctors aren’t buying it. “I would not recommend it,” David DiPersio, clinical pharmacist at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center said. He says valerian root is known to cause seizures. Now if I ever pick up a can, I’ll be too freaked out to chillax. Keep reading »
Designer dress? Check. Perfect hair? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Fur? Check. Anna brought everything to the American Ballet Theatre Spring Gala. [NYC, 5/18/09] Keep reading »
Ah, the mainstreaming of pornography. You never know who will be inspired by what! Take, for example, this charming new ad campaign from Quiznos. Perhaps you’ve seen “2 Girls 1 Cup,” the most grossest, disgustingest pornographic video ever made? Well, these new ads hawking the Quiznos subway sandwich feature “2 Girls 1 Sub” in a stank homage to the gross-out video that inspired a million memes. I like how the soundtrack sounds like farts. So … fitting. We think this is the best Quiznos ad ever — since they tried to get that guy to have sex with one of their ovens, that is. Keep reading »
On “Weeds,” Mary-Louise Parker plays a sexy suburban mom who sells pot. Parker is cool with the druggy persona, but she isn’t happy about having to strip down during last season’s finale. In the scene, she bears all in a bathtub and the camera lingers on her boobs, a shot which obviously ended up all over the internet in a clip titled: “Mary Louise Shows off Her Big Nipples.” But was this nude scene unnecessary — or totally awesome? Keep reading »
Chinese officials have shut down China’s first sex-themed amusement park before it could open. Love Land was supposed to open this October and inspire people in China to be more open about sex, a taboo subject there, and educate visitors about proper condom use and other sex related topics. But the theme park had the opposite effect. Love Land incensed officials in Chongqing, who were offended by the risque nature of the park and ordered its destruction. I guess being greeted by a giant pair of women’s legs in a red thong was a little too much for officials that aren’t even accustomed to public displays of affection. [NY Times] Keep reading »
First, there was the “murse.” Then, there was “manty-hose.” Now, there are sparkly “penis plugs.” While they’re not entirely new, these penile accessories are enjoying a renewed surge in popularity.
Instead of plain ones, men who love to trick out their dicks have options galore from Swarovski-studded to titanium-tipped. Fancy!
The plugs are inserted into the tip of the penis. Despite the ouch factor, the appeal of the plug is that it’s visually-pleasing and sexually-stimulating. They’re also financially-draining. As with any custom accessory, you have to get professionally fitted, and it will run you $150 or more. But if that’s your best asset, why not show it off? Keep reading »
“Tiggers should not date Eeyores,” DeVore said. “Tiggers can date Piglets, Piglets can date Pooh Bears, Pooh Bears can date Eeyores. Piglets and Roos can date, but Pooh Bears and Tiggers cannot.”
”The last few times we saw each other, we didn’t have sex. Considering we hadn’t seen much of each other, this was totally unacceptable. When we did see each other, we had fun — when we weren’t talking about the multitude of things that were making him feel “meh.” John DeVore referred to him as Eeyore.
“Tiggers should not date Eeyores,” DeVore advised. “Tiggers can date Piglets, Piglets can date Pooh Bears, Pooh Bears can date Eeyores. Piglets and Roos can date, but Pooh Bears and Tiggers cannot.”
“OH MY GOD, SO TRUE!” I exclaimed. Now where the f**k is my Piglet?
The other thing that ended it was sparking with someone else. Things with the Sneakerhead could end tomorrow – nothing surprises me these days – but the point is, I am sparking! Spark, spark, spark! With another person! Even as time distances me from my breakup, I wonder if I could meet someone to have that special bond with again. Sparks remind me that I can.
When I told Chick Parm that I thought we should just be friends, he responded, “I agree.”
You agree? That was too easy! It’s not that I expected a fight, but he had been such a limp noodle, such a wet blanket for the last few weeks, nay, months, that I thought he would be as mopey at the prospect of our oh-so-comfortable relationship changing. Wasn’t this supposed to be the moment when he had an epiphany and realized how insanely awesome I am? That I was kick ass? That he would never have a better roasted chicken with brussel sprouts in his life? But Simcha set me straight.
“Amelia,” she said. “He’s been along for the ride since the beginning. Why would you expect anything different?”