For most single women out there, New Year’s Eve is a big deal. On December 31st, we’ll get all dolled up—preferably in sequins and heavy eyeliner—and hit the town in our 2011 New Year’s Eve glasses. (Question: How exactly are those going to work?) It’s one of the few nights a year where debaucherous drinking is not only condoned, but encouraged, and where grabbing a random stranger for a makeout session is not only okay, but tradition. The next morning, as we nurse our hangovers, we’ll have the satisfaction of standing up, wiping off the dirt of the past year, and jumping feet first into a new one—a fresh 365 days in which every possibility is open.
Yes, kiss or not, New Year’s Eve should be a great night. But for me, January 2nd will be a much bigger day. See, it’s my parents’ anniversary. As much as I think about it, I still can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea that, in less than a week, my parents will have been husband and wife for 40 freaking years. Keep reading »
At last, a man who says everything you want him to say! Meet Mattel’s Sweet Talkin’ Ken doll ($31), who records five seconds of your voice and plays it back in a deep baritone. Barbie and her boy toy split ages ago, but I’m sure they’ll get back together as soon as Barbie realizes she can totally make Sweet Talkin’ Ken her bitch. Repeat after me, Sweet Talkin’ Ken: “You look like you need a foot massage!”; “Don’t worry, I’ll take the garbage out”; “Sure, I’ll go down on you while you watch ‘Real Housewives!” Sigh. If only we could program men in real life this way. [Mattel via Outblush] Keep reading »
That took long enough: Amber Portwood, the star of MTV‘s “Teen Mom,” was arrested yesterday for a domestic violence assault on her daughter Leah’s father, Gary Shirley. As you can see from her mug shots, her skin is 90 percent less orange in the clink. Keep reading »
No matter how much you ate over the holiday weekend, we’re betting it was not even close to the amount of food that Donna Simpson devoured. The New Jersey woman is angling to be the fattest woman in the world, and is on a quest to weigh a thousand pounds, so she had a lot of holiday eating to do. Donna’s Christmas dinner? How about two turkeys, two hams, a roast, five pounds of mashed potatoes, and 20 pounds of vegetables? And, of course, there’s always room for dessert! For a sweet after-dinner treat, she had a “salad” of marshmallows, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies. The whole meal took her two hours to eat (that’s it?!) and was around 30,000 calories — that’s, oh, about 15 times the recommended daily caloric allowance for a single day. Still, Simpson has a long way to go to reach her goal. She’s currently at 650 pounds. [NY Mag] Keep reading »
Fiddy is always looking for new ways to make himself useful. His latest scheme? Shoveling snow. According to Twitter, he’s charging $100 to make your driveway mint. Any takers? [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »