Last week, when underdog Kris Allen won “American Idol” over clear favorite Adam Lambert, my jaw dropped. I wanted to call foul, but I didn’t have proof until today. According to the New York Times, last week’s “Idol” finale is the new 2000 election. They say the vote may have been unfairly rigged, thanks to some wheeling and dealing by AT&T, Idol’s main corporate sponsor. Recount in Arkansas! Please, thank you! After the jump, the sordid details. Keep reading »
Over at The Daily Beast, Alison Prato has written a column on“Breakout Blondes,” which asserts that there is some sort of tow-headed backlash against the dumb blonde stereotype going on in pop culture. Prato gave a number of examples of successful blonde women, from Taylor Swift to Dakota Fanning to Agyness Deyn (the range is astounding isn’t it?), maintaining that after a dark reign in which brunettes like Angelina Jolie ruled our collective imaginations, the fair-haired contingent was back and better than ever. There’s a multitude of reasons why this “article” rubbed me the wrong way, but I’ll just address two. Keep reading »
I was kind of skeptical about whether the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” would be able to bring the drama. After watching last night’s episode, I have no more worries. Sure, Jacqueline Laurita needs to get a backbone, and Teresa Giudice doesn’t seem to do much more than spend money, but Bravo hit the mother lode with Danielle Straub. Compared with the other housewives, including the ones in Orange County, Atlanta, and New York City, she is the ultimate villainess. Don’t let the coy smile fool you. Danielle, as one of the most divisive characters, had it totally right when she said, “You either love me or you love to hate me, there is no in between.” At this point, I don’t love or hate Danielle as a person, but I do love the drama she brings. Keep reading »
Young love! Ah, so romantic. Like any other bride-to-be Kendra Wilkinson, Playboy model and “Girls Next Door” star, is walking on air. And when asked by People magazine how she’s keeping fit for her big day, the 23-year-old extolled the health benefits of good sex! “A lot of it,” her fiancé, Philadelphia Eagles player Hank Baskett, added.
Really, what else would you expect one of Hugh Hefner’s former “girlfriends” to say? But the girl’s got a point. A healthy sex life—from the deed itself to the messy cleanup afterwards—does a body good in all kinds of ways. Keep reading »
We’re sick of shopping metaphors being used to explain dating. Maybe it’s because we watched way too much “Sex and the City” back in the day and grew tired of the comparisons, but we don’t see how men are anything like purses, shoes, jewelry, or little black dresses. Author Janice Lieberman does just this in her new book, How to Shop for A Husband, in which the guy equivalent of the LBD is the PGHM, or “perfectly good husband material.” Barf. If finding a date were anything akin to scoring a mint-condition vintage bag on eBay, we’d have triumphed ages ago. [Today] Keep reading »
“Hey! Who turned out the lights? I can’t see…oh, wait, let me just turn on my dress.” A genius solution to blackouts, night phobias, people who live in Alaska in winter, and girls who need to be the center of attention, the LumiTop Sophia fiberoptic dress provides a beacon of light in the darkest of fashion scenarios. Most appropriate for fancy evening occasions and “Lord of the Rings” conventions, the gown features a contrasting obi belt and kimono sleeves that are removable. Powered by rechargeable batteries, the dress stays lit up to 12 hours (careful, Cinderella), but can be turned on and off at will by an LED switch. The price tag doesn’t come cheap at a little more than $2,000. But think of how much you’ll save on your electric bill. [LumiGram.com] Keep reading »
Sex toys are naughty and nice, but some times they’re also downright adorable. These fun adult playthings will have you’ll squealing with delight from both their cute form and sexy function. And as coo-worty as they may be, these adorable vibes do not do double duty as toys for children. Seriously.
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India may be the home of the Kama Sutra, but according to a new law, everyone in the country will now be forced type with both hands. Their new Information Technology Bill has officially banned internet porn, and the sentences are stiff. If you get caught red handed, the po-po can arrest you and throw you in the slammer for up to FIVE years. Plus, you could be slapped with a fine of up to 1 million rupees—which, egads, is about $20,000 smackeroos. Plus, this law has now given the authorities the right to raid any international sexy sites and comb its users for criminals. Although the penalties are soley for Indians, the bill gives the authorities jurisdiction that includes UK sites, now making Hush-Hush.com a total misnomer.
Sheesh, it’s times like these we get all patriotic. God bless America, land that I love, and where I can make sweet to love myself.[AVN via Nerve] Keep reading »
Apparently, Brooke Shields lost her virginity at the positively spinsterly age of 22, and regrets not having gotten it over with earlier. When it comes to celebrity gossip, I’m on a blessed time delay. Normally, I’m too busy doing manly things like chopping down trees with my face, flamethrower-roasting suckling pigs, or seducing entire female soccer teams. But truly, this is momentous news, sorry I’m just getting around to it.
It should be of some solace to Brooke that there is no ideal way to lose one’s virginity. It is supposed to be awkward, because sex is awkward. Objectively speaking, it’s kind of funny. Clearly sex was invented by Morgan Freeman as a way to entertain bored angels. Think about it: sex is a lot of butt meat jiggling, legs in the air swaying back and forth like metronomes, and blush-worthy squishy noises. Shakespeare called sex “making the beast with two backs,” but it’s more like “making the squirming eight-limbed octopus that grunts.” The “O” in “O” face stands for “Oooh my gawd, is my grill turning itself inside out?”
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