Mind Of Man: Why Self-Love Is Sex’s Sexiest Secret

There are two types of women in the world: women who are totally comfortable with masturbation and those who are ashamed of the act. I realize there are more than two types of women in the world, so forgive my rhetorical cheat. It’s for a good cause.

I don’t know why some women are weird about pleasuring themselves. I am not, in fact, a woman. But to those who are embarrassed about it, please, think about rubbing one out for your boyfriend or husband tonight. He will love it. There are few spectacles as captivating as a woman getting herself off. It is pure sex on toast. Watching your girl squirm, growl, and hit the right buttons while you whisper dirty little secrets and improper commands is so hot, it makes my guts ache. It’s vulnerable, and intimate, and epically eye-crossing. Keep reading »

Sexist Principal Mandates “Pants For Boys, Dresses For Girls!”

Chelsea Sarvis, a senior at South Carolina’s Chapin High School, wants to wear pants to her graduation. But according to Principal Mike Satterfield (surprise, surprise, it’s a male), unless she wears a dress, she won’t be attending. That’s right—if she doesn’t conform to what I thought were antiquated stereotypes and flaunt a “feminine” frock, she won’t be able to go to her own graduation.
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NBC Hints At Obama’s Cool-Factor With Music Selection For “Inside The Obama White House”

Last night, part one of “Inside the Obama White House” aired on NBC with the dreamy Brian Williams hosting. The behind-the-scenes look at a day at the White House makes us want to quit our jobs to hang out in the Oval Office (or, you know, answer someone’s phone). Since Williams makes a point of pointing out the music staffers play, including the national security advisor’s preference for U2, we couldn’t help but notice the music NBC chose to accompany the hour-long special. Keep reading »

Stop Trying to Make Scrunchies Happen, American Apparel

We’ve kept silent while Dov Charney has screwed around with fashion.

We put up with the pervy advertisements.

We put up with Charney masturbating in front of a Jane reporter.

We put up with his numerous sexual harassment lawsuits.

We put up with messing with our main mensch, Woody Allen.

But we’re not going to take it anymore—the scrunchies must be stopped. Keep reading »

O.P.I. Permanent Manicure Creates A Whole Other Nail Problem

I feel so ladylike and put-together when I have a fresh manicure, but that same polish job makes me feel like a sloppy slacker when it chips a few days later. I’ve tried a couple of things to solve this problem. I was a dedicated daily re-applier of Nail Tek Xtra, but then I got a life. Now I’ve settled on boring light colors that make peeling polish less noticeable, along with Creative Nail Design’s Stickey Base Coat. I was really excited when I read about O.P.I.’s Axxium Soak-Off Gels, a permanent nail lacquer that lasts and lasts. It’s basically the same powder used for acrylic nails applied thinner. When dried under a UV light, the powder forms a chip-proof bond with the nail. To maintain the color, wearers get “color fills,” similar to an acrylic tips fill-in, when their nails grow out. Permanent in this sense doesn’t mean you have to rock the same nail color forever, though. Regular nail polish can be applied on top of the Soak-Off Gels. And the gels are removed by soaking the nails in an acetone solution. Keep reading »

Modern Romeos And Juliets Can Proclaim Vows In Verona

Bring your own Romeo to this 13th century Veronese mansion and you could feel as romantic as Shakespeare’s most famous couple. Verona’s town council is now allowing couples to get married on the balcony of the Capello family mansion. It’s believed that the Capellos were the Capulets in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, so lovers across the world have flocked to this mansion to scrawl love vandals on its walls. The privilege of exchanging vows isn’t as costly as Romeo and Juliet’s fatal love affair, but it isn’t cheap either. Non-European lovers can expect to pay nearly 900 euros, or about $1,288. Soccer star Luca Ceccarelli and his Juliet, er… bride were the first to take advantage of this new wedding venue. “I feel very emotional. You know, marriage always gives strong emotions especially in a situation like this,” said Ceccarelli to Reuters before he and his bride exchanged rings. “We hope that this bring us a lot of luck.”

Hopefully, the Ceccarellis and any other couple that gets married at this mansion won’t end up committing suicide like Juliet and Romeo did in one of the most overrated tragedies of all time. Keep reading »

iPanties: Unlock Your Crotch

Apple’s ubiquitous “i” has found its way to our nether regions — or, at least the fabric that covers them. iPanties are the latest in a long list of products to get “i”dolized. With a “slide to unlock” guide along the crotch, these panties are cute and helpful…and the possibility for downloadable applications are endless. [$12 a pair at iPanties.weebly.com via Like Cool] Keep reading »

Johnny Depp And Other Celebs Who Jet To Their Own Private Islands

Holy hotness—Johnny Depp is on the cover of Vanity Fair that’s coming out tomorrow. And this dude really can’t get enough of the Caribbean. After filming three movies there, in 2004, he decided to buy his own private island in the Bahamas. Depp and his family bask in the sun on Little Hall’s Pond Cay Island, which has six beaches. Three are named after members of Johnny’s family, another is called “Brando,” and yet another is “Gonzo” after his idol and friend, Hunter S. Thompson. Johnny likes to keep things in the family. His 156-foot yacht is dubbed Vajoliroja—a word made-up of syllables of his family’s names.

Interestingly, many celebs own private islands. I guess they need somewhere paparazzi-free to escape from all the parties, premieres, and their own fabulousness? Here are a few celebs that sunbathe in solitude.

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Crushing, Vice-Style

Everyone thinks I’m an a-hole right now. Not because I’m trying to get everybody at Grandpa’s funeral to play Rock Band. No, I’m in love—and I can’t stop talking about it.

Butterflies in my stomach, stars in my eyes, I arrive at the office every morning with a new story about something adorable he’s done. We made waffles! We said the L-word! We talked about baby names! I told one of my co-workers about the love note he penned and five seconds in, she had stopped listening.

So I guffawed when I read Vice‘s “Guide To Being Totally Crushed Out”, an alphabetized list of things we do when we’ve got a crush, from “Only Calling To Hear His Voice And Then Hanging Up,” to “Jerking Off About Her.”

And, of course, “Telling Everyone In The World”… Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Kendra Wilkinson Makes Love To The Camera

[LA, 6/2/09]
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