First Listen: Britney Spears’ “Hold It Against Me”

Oh, hell, girl. Britney Spears is back with a pretty sweet new single called “Hold It Against Me.” It’s a super grimy club jam (please note: these types of descriptions are why I was a failure as a music journalist) and basically I am having a dance party in my living room right now. So, in other words: it’s a success. Gimme more, Brit! Listen to the full track after the jump! Keep reading »

14 Celebrity Weight Loss Spokeswomen

celebrity klutzes jessica simpson jpg
Look out Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, Slim Fast, and Jenny Craig — Jessica Simpson is coming for ya. After all of her jaw-flapping about loving herself and inner beauty blah blah blah, Jess is allegedly looking to become a weight loss spokesperson so she can kill two birds with one stone: get thin for her second wedding and reconnect with her core audience. Why am I not surprised? Click through to see some more famous ladies who have shilled weight loss programs. [Celebitchy]

“Black Swan” Gets the “SNL” Treatment


It was inevitable that all the chatter about “Black Swan” would result in a “SNL” parody, and we’d trust Jim Carrey to do it. His fat, bloated black swan Lily is no match for prim white swan Nina. Oh, what sex appeal! [NBC] Keep reading »

For The Week Of January 10-16, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Sugarcoating your conversations doesn’t have to mean you are lying, as there isn’t anything you have to hide per se, but how you present your information will matter. Yes, be careful with how you use your words now, as every syllable will matter in the scheme of your latest lusty plans. However, the art of flirtation is a two-way street, so prepare to get back the sweet talk you give.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Who cares about repercussions? Despite how careful your brain wants to act now, cast all logic aside and run with your emotions. After all, trying to deny your feelings always bites you in the end, as you’ve learned you are a true romantic at heart and there is no other way for you to operate. Besides, chances are this adventure is worth the risk.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Just because you love your boo doesn’t mean you have to love his family too. While it pays to be friends with them, it may be hard for you to force the connection. However, this week, a miracle will happen and have you seeing a new side to where your sweetie comes from and it may just have you surprisingly falling even harder head-over-heels for him.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You might be a sucker for a pretty face, but without brains to back it up there are only so many thrills you’ll be able to squeeze out before boredom strikes. Not to say you can’t have some fun, but realize there are all sorts of opportunities out there now and if you settle too fast, it’ll be you missing out on having some substance with your sex.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

It may be hard to place your finger on how you feel, but if you just keep talking about it, things will start to take shape. It’s just about getting it all out on the table, to see what you’ve got, and then working it from there. If anything, it‘ll also finally give that other the clue that they’ve been waiting for, giving you both a big lesson in the finer and hotter points of teamwork.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be feeling a new sense of confidence and daring that’ll come on suddenly, so don’t be shy to climb on top and ride out your dreams, as this is your time to be the boss! Sure, this brash show of power might be much for a few to handle, but in love, the only thing you need to know now is that it’s survival of the fittest. So, let the games begin!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Prepare for a certain someone to suddenly start acting “formal.” Yes, it’s to create a distance to recalibrate. However, chances of it being directly about you are slim. We can’t choose who we fall for; so don’t beat yourself up over this weird turn of events, as everyone is entitled to go schizo every so often. Instead of freaking, take it as your cue to do other things — like shopping!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Relax and enjoy a week of not trying to solve your problems on your back. No, this isn’t the time to screw away your agonies, as it’s about taking a more innovative approach to the same ole same ole and making it your own. Life is changing rapidly and to stay ahead of its curve, it’ll mean working those more bizarre angles.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This is one of those weeks when being happy over being right will be more your speed, so don’t get flustered when your boo starts sounding like a crackhead. That’s right, ignore it and take the high road. Trust you know who he really is and leave it at that. If all goes as the universe foretells, in a few weeks, it’ll all work itself back into you both being as snug as a bug in a rug.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The truth is coming and will bring a colossal shock. The good news is that it might be so great that you’ll feel as if the universe is revolving around just you, or it might be something that you’ve long suspected but did all you could to avoid accepting because the pain seemed too hard to bear. Whichever direction your story veers off into, don’t worry. Remember it’s always darkest before the dawn.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Birds of a feather may flock together, but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. Yes, there will be something quite disturbing about your baby this week and it can boil down to the company he is starting to keep. While you can’t play mom, barking orders to get what you want, there is no reason you can’t use sex as your weapon. As they say, all is fair in love and war!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The heat is on, as you and that special someone turn that corner to find the inevitable has arrived — as in time to make a big decision on where you’re going and work out a real commitment. While not all will be easy, in terms of sorting out boundaries and humbling your ego, realize it’s a small price to pay when dealing with someone who actually is on your level.

First Date Dos & Don’ts

Don’t: Misrepresent yourself. While online dating is a valuable resource for the savvy single, there are people out there who misrepresent themselves. Don’t be one of them. Just as your online dating profile should accurately represent who you really are, your in-person encounters should be equally authentic. Don’t pretend to be something or someone you’re not to try and impress a potential partner. You’re fabulous just as you are and if somebody else can’t see that, it’s their loss. Besides, a relationship founded on lies and/or insincerities will quickly crumble.

Keep reading »

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords Shot In The Head In Tucson, Arizona

Gabrielle Giffords, a congresswoman from Arizona, was shot in the head this morning outside a Safeway grocery store in Tucson, Arizona, by a white male in his mid-20s. Witnesses said she and members of her staff were greeting the public when a gunman approached her from behind and shot into her head. He reportedly fired about 20 rounds; approximately 12 others were injured in the shooting. A staffer tackled the young gunman, who has been taken into custody. Rep. Giffords, 40, a Democrat, has been in office since January 2007. In March, her Tucson office had been vandalized right before the health care reform vote; her office spokesperson said she received “nasty and rude and hateful comments” at the time as well. She was recently elected to a third term. NPR and CNN have reported that Giffords died, but as of 3:20 p.m. on Saturday afternoon, her husband, an astronaut named Mark Kelly, had confirmed to a local TV station that she is still alive. Our thoughts go out to Gabrielle Giffords’ family and loved ones.

[New York Times]
[ABC News] Keep reading »

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