Dear Wendy: “How Can I Let Guys Know I Want To Befriend Them Not Date Them?”

I recently moved out of the country, and am in the process of making new friends. Every so often a new male stranger will strike up conversation with me. Since I’m new here and could use as many friends as possible, I’m always receptive and try to be engaging. However, it always reaches the point where the guy will ask for my number. Unfortunately, nine times out of 10 I’m not really into him enough to date him — rather I’d be more interested in being friends. I’m finding that by engaging in conversation with them, they think I’m flirting or somehow into them, and that later when I say I’m not, they think I’m a bitch. How can I let them know right away that I’m not interested in dating them, without hurting their ego and immediately ruining the possibility of becoming friends? — New Girl in Town

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Oprah Cries When Asked By Barbara Walters About Lesbian Rumors

“TISSUE PLEASE!” That’s Oprah — a rare one to raise her voice — at some lackey off-camera when she starts to cry during an interview with Barbara Walters. Babs had just asked Oprah about her super-duper-close friendship with Gayle King, which sent the tears a-flowin’. Said the big O:

“She’s the mother I never had. She is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don’t know a better person.”

Then klassy Barbara asks about the “dumb rumors” — [stage whisper] you know, the lesbian ones! Keep reading »

In Defense Of Mittens

Usually I love Hadley Freedman, the style writer at the London Guardian. First, because she’s in London, so I automatically assume everything she writes is more cultured and posh. But second, because she writes about style in a way that’s intelligent and thoughtful without the usual “LOVE ZOMG I’M DYING” tripe that passes for “criticism” these days.

But now you’re on my bad side, Hadley: You’ve gone after mittens. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Had Labiaplasty Surgery

I first heard the word “labiaplasty” three years ago. Immediately, my interest was piqued. My unruly butterfly wings — otherwise known as my labia — interfered with my sexual activities. Riding a bike for more than 15 minutes? Painful. Camel toe? Obvious. Intercourse? Lube did little to relieve all that smooshing, pulling, stretching, especially when condoms were involved.

And then there were the unsolicited anatomical editorials that I’d received over the years, ranging from the respectfully observant, “You’re very floral,” to the horrifying, “Damn, girl. You got a fat p***y!,” to the complimentary, “Actually, I like it full and lippy … That’s my thing.” Keep reading »

The Black Baby Doll Project Puts Dollies In Hands Of Little Girls

One of the privileges I had as a little white girl was always having had toys that look like me. In fact, American Girl‘s brown-haired, brown-eyed Samantha Parkington doll looked almost exactly like me. Like little girls all around the world, I used to hold her, brush her hair, pretend she was my daughter and enjoy how beautiful she looked. That’s why I think The Black Baby Doll Project, which is in its 13th year, is so important. Sponsored by the Ida B. Wells Living Learning Community, a gateway program for first-year African-American students at Mary Baldwin College in Virginia, BBDP collects black baby dolls each year to gift to little girls so they have a toy who looks like them … Keep reading »

Free Tickets To The Ryan Gosling Gun Show!

This hot shot of Ryan Gosling in his underpants is from his new flick “All Good Things.” Mmm-hmm, they got that right! Clearly, seeing The Gos wet and nearly naked on the big screen is worth the price of admission. Dang, he’s got it going on! The movie also stars Kirsten Dunst, but I’m glad she’s not muckin’ up this nearly nakey photo of Ry. Oh, and there’s more to ogle … get the back view, after the jump! I hope your computer is drool-resistant. Keep reading »

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