“Oh god, mom, he broke up with me!” I blubbered over the phone, I was crying so hard my face resembled a marshmallow.
I had decided to stay in bed for two days and was starting to become very ripe and slightly unhinged. Needless to say I was not taking this well at all.
“Should I call him? How do you just leave someone? I really needed him and he dumped me!” I said between sniffles.
My relationship with my now ex had taken a turn for the worse over the past five months. I was stressed out at my job, and had decided without much consideration to go back to school full-time. My mood had changed adversely, and I had proven to be very difficult to be around. I became needy and mean, all at once. It had come to the point where I barely even recognized myself. Keep reading »
There are no words to adequately express my feelings about the devotion expressed by Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic, a 56-year-old man in Mexico who has spent around $100,000 getting 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts‘ face. Mr. Bukovic, I salute you. (Though I am guessing you probably go to bed alone every night?) [NYmag.com via Best Week Ever] Keep reading »
Men, guess what? Your peni were supposed to have a spines like the peens of the bean weevil (left) and the marmoset. From a scientific perspective, said penile spine is meant to “grip the walls of the female’s opening” for more productive fertilization. The penis spine is also thought to clean other male sperm out by abrading the female vagina after she’s been doing it with multiple males. Tsk tsk, slutasauruses. Gosh, the penis spine sounds lovely and very comfortable. Unfortunately, our DNA took an unexpected turn and the gene required to form the penis spine molecularly short circuited. In turn, our men developed bigger brains and our women a penchant for monogamy. A very sweet evolutionary tale. Maybe I’ll write an illustrated children’s book about it. [Live Science] Keep reading »
Happy unbirthday! (Unless of course it is actually your birthday.) TeenNick has announced that they will be bringing back some of our favorite TV shows involving plaid in a new programming block that will air nightly from midnight to 2 a.m. called “The ’90s Are All That.” The series in the block that has us most excited, naturally, is “Clarissa Explains It All,” the show where Melissa Joan Hart navigated wacky parents, a megalomaniacal brother and a crush on her skater neighbor, Sam, all while looking amazing in brightly colored DIY outfits. But we’re also pumped for “The Adventures of Pete and Pete,” the show about two brothers with the same name which featured the coolest tattoo on an underage character ever—Pete’s dancing mermaid. Oh, and “All That” will be returning too, which means we can scope Nick Cannon way before he met Mariah. In other words, sleepless nights just got a little less dismal. [EW] Keep reading »
Meh. I’m with Facebook on this one. Keep reading »