Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Doors you thought closed forever start to open; changes are in store. Be ready to keep a slow pace to make the most of these opportunities, as they’ll be delicate to begin with, but if you just stroke it right in those soft little ways of yours, you’ll find magic that’ll eventually explode. Patience is your key to paradise.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Time to get giddy all over again. Seems a wave of sentiment and all that drives your imagination will be sparking up again in a whole new way that it hasn’t in a few months. Whether this is with someone you are already with or a new someone, it’ll be one of those week when it’ll feel like you have beer goggles on, even when you’re completely sober.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Forget trying to make sense of anything, because you’d only be wasting time. Best to just jump on the crazy bandwagon and ride with the freaks and weirdoes to new sites and witness a new slice of life. Screw control, it’s only held you back in the past and if there is something to be learned now, it’s to embrace the ridiculous and enjoy the openness humility brings.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
As the song says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.” As it goes, this week is going to be one of those times you have to be romantic and settle for who ever you can cast into the role. Although you have ideals; remember, you also have a great imagination. If this means having to mentally makeover someone to fit your needs, for now, realize it’ll do.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Get your summer plans in order now and give yourself some inspiration. Everyone needs a carrot on the stick to work towards and as it goes, there is nothing so delicious for you — but that doesn’t mean there can’t be. Book a trip now or make some kind of adventurous plan, as it’ll most auspicious set the lusty energy into proper motion.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
All your rules are about to go out the window, as this week someone will shock your little mind and heart into submission in whole new way that’ll miraculously work for you, making you feel deeper shades of hotness that you never quite felt before. Seems there is someone out there smart, exciting and cute enough.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It’s time for a showdown on domestic issues. If you are single and living alone, then this won’t be as intense for you and it might even make you happier to be single. If are co-habiting, then expect petty arguments and just all round aggravating passive aggressive behavior that isn’t sexy on either side of the fence. While you might love him, this week you won’t like him.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As long as you can keep a dialogue going, that is all you need to do this week. Forget trying to make any major decisions, because this is the time you will be seeing all sides of the fence and wanting to explore all. To be able to have you cake and eat it too will mean knowing how to charm cool and persuasively. Think slight of hand, but with words.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Collect numbers and play your little games. This week, your flirty side will be in top form and it won’t be wasted on lame people either. Yes, karma is back in action in your romance sector and this will move stagnant emotions once again. Just don’t be too shocked when someone you never suspected will be able to heat things up just a bit hotter than expected.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
New ideas will inspire and your more adventurous side will be waiting to stir. However, this isn’t the time to dart off and go without a plan, because if you want what you want, then strategy and super sleuth skills are necessary in nailing that special someone just the way you want — and as it goes these days, your presentation will be what you are judged on the most.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
If you have been dying to ask that more-than-just-a-booty-call about where your relationship is heading, this is your time. Karma is back on track, to help you get answers you deserve. No more being in the dark, unless you want. However, fearing the worst is far worse than just dealing with whatever you have to. As it goes, you’ll never know, unless you ask.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Friends are a major factor this week, as they are the gateway to profound wisdom and opportunities. If ever there was a time to bury the hatchet with everyone and do a little ass kissing, it’s now. Even those frenemies that you have on speed dial to gloat to can be helpful in surprising ways, as this week getting laid is a wacky numbers game.
Susan Boyle hasn’t even won “Britain’s Got Talent,” yet she’s already sealed her place in pop-culture history with a tiny doll created in her likeness. Created by 46-year-old Debbie Ritter from Illinois, who says she’s watched Boyle’s YouTube video “literally one thousand times,” the dolls are made from clothes pegs, wire, and clay. Ritter painstakingly hand paints each four-inch doll and assembles miniature dowdy church-lady outfits for which Susan Boyle is so well known. Of making the dolls, Ritter says: “It’s a lot of work and each doll takes at least a couple of hours. It’s more of a hobby than a job for me but I sell them to collectors too.” The dolls sell for about $21 at Ritter’s Etsy shop. You could also buy a Paul Potts doll from Ritter for $22 and then make Susan and Paul make out. If you’re sick like that. [Telegraph] Keep reading »
Performing at 17th Life Ball, which benefits AIDS and HIV patients. [Vienna, Austria, 5/17/09] Keep reading »
You’ve seen “Cribs,” right? Each week, cameras capture a celeb’s master bedroom, backyard pool, and refrigerator full of perfectly organized rows of Fiji water or Diet Coke cans. Well, think of Mark Menjivar’s collection of photographs, entitled “You are what you eat,” the high-brow version of the peeping-tom show.
Menjivar sees an open fridge as the perfect staging ground for a discussion of consumption and consequence. If the saying holds true — that is, if we really are what we eat — Menjivar thinks refrigerators are windows into our souls — or, at least into our stomachs. Whether it’s a bartender’s fridge full of take-out cartons, a family’s refrigerator a week after deciding to eat locally grown produce (it’s totally gung-ho-leafy-green veggies), a short order cook’s frozen tortillas alongside a frozen snake corpse, or a spare but organized fridge belonging to a blind person who lives alone, the contents adroitly tell the story of each individual life. Keep reading »
“Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.”
– Shia LaBeouf in Playboy Keep reading »
You don’t need a $400 Gucci beach towel for the summer.
You don’t need a $315 peace sign bikini ’cause all the goodwill in the world ain’t gonna pay for that thing.
And you definitely don’t need another pair of khaki short-shorts or that same cotton dress in one more color.
What you do need are a few summer wardrobe updates that you can buy and then wear while eating the food you’re still able to pay for. As always, the number of new things you buy doesn’t really matter. It’s more important to make sure that all the items work with each other and the things you own. Keep reading »
Senorita Margarita Ultra Rich 3-in-1 Shampoo, Shower Gel, and Bubble Bath, $16, Philosophy
Drinking too much alcohol will make you have a bad face day, and it might cause premature aging. However, cocktails in the form of beauty products will perk you up as much as a poolside Tecate. Keep reading »
Get excited, people! “The Bachelorette,” starring our favorite Papa Bach reject, Jillian Harris, debuts tomorrow! I’ll be liveblogging the show every week. Fingers crossed this season is entertaining, scandalous, and filled with dudes way hotter than Jason Mesnick. Keep reading »
Yearbooks capture the most awkward moments of our lives. I can hardly open mine. During my senior year, I decided it was a good idea to get dreadlocks, a decision forever immortalized in my National Honor Society photo. Terrible? Definitely. But even my worst yearbook moments pale in comparison to these horrors. Keep reading »