Bruce Willis And New Wife Emma Get Freaky For W Magazine

Holy crackers. I saw the first of these photos featuring Bruce Willis and his newish wife Emma in the July issue of W magazine, and I was like, Wahh? They are weird. But, hey! Whatever floats your boat. Of course, they’re shot by Steven Klein, who’s always doing strange things. The header reads: “For years Bruce Willis vowed he’d never marry again. Then the movie star met sizzling Emma Heming, and she changed his mind—and his life.” Apparently! At the imaginary Honeymoon Hotel, Emma dons full fur head-and-body gear to straddle a practically naked Bruce in the kitchen. After that, they do a bunch of other kinky stuff. Mostly, Emma wanders around looking like a young Demi and Bruce sort of lets it happen. I don’t know. It’s all a little disconcerting. In the accompanying profile of the couple, they talk about making out in public, how Bruce went from “F— love” to “Love is truly the answer,” and hanging out with Ashton Kutcher. Did you know Bruce used to stutter? True story. [W] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Jennifer Westfeldt Knows She’s Got A Mad Man

And he’s a keeper! [Hollywood, 6/14/09]
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Enema Bag Jewelry

Whoa! Weird alarm bells are screeching in my head. Enema bag jewelry, oh yes, it exists. Luckily for our health, safety and noses, these pins and earrings are only inspired by the stinky enema bags. These, um, unique accessories are made from bronze, sterling silver and copper, so if you wear them and people run away from you, you can chase after them and tell them you are not a safety hazard. As far as artistic representation goes, I guess the jewelry is an accurate likeness to the medical device, eerily so, in fact. And yet, somehow I just don’t feel like sporting metal poop-bags on my lobes. I know butts are in right now, but they aren’t that in. If you bravely don enema bag jewelry you might discover that they are great conversation starters, or conversation killers. [$80, Luna Parc] Keep reading »

A Few Guys We’d Like To See Get In David Beckhams Underpants

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David Beckham’s new scorchingly hot Armani Exchange skivvies billboards are giving us a major lady boner. But being greedy little things, one hot guy in his underpants wasn’t enough for us, we want to see them all. There are a few, in particular, who would make awesome Beckham replacements…

Tweet Beat: Comics Twitter Funnies

Give comedians — give them 140 characters and they’ll find a joke that fits. This week in Tweet Beat, Michael Ian Black pretends he’s on “Sesame Street,” Sarah Silverman defends the emoticon, and Ellen saves a bird. Keep reading »

Is Boring Style A Dating Dealbreaker?

Because I’m young and carefree, I’ve been keeping my options open and dating a couple of guys at the same time. No more than two, because beyond that, things get a little sloppy. Well, two works until decision time comes around and you’re writing out each one’s pros versus cons. That’s where I am right now — paper-ready,with pen in hand.

Guy #1 is nice, funny and cute, but Guy #2 is gloriously attractive and kind of witty. Sort of. Sometimes. OK, barely. The choice seems clear: ditch the hot, boring guy in favor of the cute, funny one, right? Not so fast. I thought I had arrived at that conclusion, but still haven’t actually axed Guy #2. My conundrum, after the jump …
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Bust Up Gum Boosts The Size Of Your Boobies

A-cups, rejoice! Pop a piece of Bust Up Gum, which claims to increase bust size, and get the boobs of your dreams! And pigs can fly and Lindsay Lohan is going to get her act together. Sorry, this product sounds like the sort of thing only encountered on the Hogwarts Express. In the minor defense of the makers of Bust Up Gum, the creators at least went through the pretense of making a brilliant scientific discovery. They included fancy schmancy ingredients and all: Maltitol, Lactitol, Hydrogenated Glucose Syrup, and Pueraria. So, I guess this won’t work for you if you are into organic or that natural food business, but whatevs, you can’t have everything. Oh, but a a few notes of caution. The label recommends popping at least six tablets per day and also advises that you should not consume during pregnancy, breastfeeding, menstruation, or if you have been diagnosed with medical conditions of the ovaries, uterus, or breast. Oh, also, consuming in large amounts may cause loose bowels. That might be a problem for some. Keep reading »

Outrageously Expensive Beach Accessories

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You can’t really get happier than a summer day at the beach, so minus a few bucks for sunscreen, a day of fun in the sand in should be cheapo. Well, according to elite fashion labels like Hermes, Louis Vuitton and Chanel, you cannot possibly look stylish beach-side for anywhere near less than $200. Here are the most outrageously expensive beach accessories with price tags the size of a small country’s economy.

Bright, poppy colors have been a signature of Hermes’ legendary printed scarves and they don’t skimp on it when it comes to these pricey towels either! [$530, Hermes]

Fundies: Underwear For Two

I am a big fan of “alone time” and “space,” which is one of the many reasons I will not be buying a pair of Fundies underwear anytime soon. Some things in life were indeed built for two: See-saws, cats cradle, thumb war, patty cake, etc. Underwear, not so much. Perhaps I am just a square or closed-minded, but I am an only child and I was never good at sharing. From a style point of view, Fundies are not horrific. Boring, yes, but I am not going to avert my eyes in disgust. That being said, I don’t think Fundies were created or are bought for style reasons. Oh yes, this product is meant to live in kinky-ville. Not that Fundies look particularly sexy-time to me, but maybe that’s just because I am imagining the logistical difficulties of two people trying to get into these. I doubt the packaging says this, but it should contain a warning for the uncoordinated. All joking aside, I recommend buying these. Not only are they dirt cheap, but it’s always good to have a gag gift or two around the house. I also feel like promoting this classic if only because it has been around for decades and has had the same packaging for over 20 years. To survive so long in the ever changing fashion world, that earns my respect. [$9.99, Fundies,} Keep reading »

Recession-Busting Celebrity Purchases

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Brad Pitt spent a reported $960,000 on a painting by German artist Neo Rauch while visiting Art Basel in Switzerland this week. Nearly a million? For a painting? Is it made of gold bricks? No, evidently it just depicts a race car being tuned up, and it’s kind of ugly, but hey, if it makes Brad happy, we won’t judge. Much. [People]

Over the past month, we’ve noticed quite a few celebrities making outrageously expense purchases. Could this mean the recession is over? Keep reading to see how much Chris Brown spent on his new car, and how much Jessica Simpson spent on Tony Romo’s birthday gift.

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