I don’t think I’ve seen America so wound up over the results of an election since November. In case you live under a rock, Kris Allen, the Jack Johnson-type from Arkansas, beat out glam-rocker Adam Lambert from San Diego for the title of “American Idol” last night. The star-studded season finale, which included performances by Cyndi Lauper, KISS, Queen, and a host of other music legends, ran over two hours. “It feels good,” Kris replied when Ryan asked how it felt to win, “but Adam deserves this.” If Twitter-verse is any indication, a lot of America agrees with him. Keep reading »
Check out this instructional video (NSFW) for FemSkin, the “transgendered prosthetic” we told you about a few weeks ago. Now, our male readers can learn how to don one. First, you line it with baby powder on the inside. Then, you roll each part of the skin over your body. (One is supposed to put on a FemSkin while nude, but the guy in the instructional video wears shorts.) The video advises where to place your ladylike FemPads to fake your hip bones, butt, and boobs. These are not your mama’s chicken cutlets. What do you say, guys? Try it out for us? [FemSkin Video (NSFW)] Keep reading »
Eyebrow weaves. Yep, you read correctly. These furry little monsters are cut-to-order eyebrow wigs that you glue on to your brow bone. What’s the purpose of this beautifying treatment — besides looking like a cousin of the Cookie Monster? Matching your platinum blond weave with your brows, of course! The eyebrow weave gives you the freedom to dye your hair different colors without the pressure to dye your eyebrows to match. Now, instead of shaving, bleaching, and coloring your brows, you can paste the matching color to your face. Genius! Keep reading »
In a major upset, Kris Allen beat out guyliner-wearing Adam Lambert in the “American Idol” finale last night. During his performance with KISS, Adam’s fashion sense stole the show. His jacket featured weird cage-like shoulders that looked positively Lady Gaga-esque. [Los Angeles, 5/20/09] Keep reading »
If you’re mid-breakfast, you might want to skip this post. One of the films that debuted at this week’s Cannes Film Festival is “Antichrist,” the latest from director Lars Von Trier. Since the screening yesterday, everyone has been talking about how the movie crosses the line of what’s appropriate for “mainstream” cinema. Starring Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe, the film is about a couple who, while mourning the death of their young son, mutilate each other in vile, graphic, despicable ways.
“Gainsbourg hits Dafoe so hard in the testicles with a plank of wood that he lapses into a coma. He ejaculates blood when she masturbates him. She drills a hole through his leg before tying him to a rock. But the scene that has caused the most disquiet is the close-up of Gainsbourg’s character cutting off her clitoris with a rusty pair of scissors.”
Keep reading »
Does your groom have delusions of grandeur when he talks about the size of his … reception hall? Then he might be a Groomzilla! Craig Bridger, author of “Surviving Groomzilla: A Bride’s Guide” discusses how to tame the beast that has taken over the wedding planning.
Want to check out more content like this? Visit YourTango.com, or check out these related links:
I Was a Groomzilla
How to Include Him in the Wedding Planning
Beat the Engagement Blues! Keep reading »
Supreme Court Justice David Souter is a wackadoodle. He’s eaten the same lunch everyday for 19 years—yogurt and an apple. He refuses to get a computer. And even though he was appointed by Republican George Bush, he usually sides with the liberally-minded folks on the bench. Now that Souter is retiring, we hope Obama will fill the seat with someone equally as interesting.
Rumor has it that Obama wants a woman for the job — which warms our hearts and our wombs, since there’s only one woman left on the court, and her health isn’t so great. At the top of Obama’s short list: solicitor general Elena Kagan, judge Sonia Sotomayer, and Jennifer Granholm, governor of Michigan. Each met privately with the President yesterday in Washington, DC. Who should the seat go to? We shun, shag, or marry this girl-power menagerie after the jump. Keep reading »
Bristol Palin and OctoMom take note! The UK’s National Health Service is using scare tactics to prevent teen pregnancy. This public service announcement doesn’t make a ton of sense, but it’s disturbing. Screaming children run across a playground, crowd around one girl, and suddenly a baby’s head pops out from between her legs. The camera is “Blair Witch Project” shaky. Now we feel nauseous, thanks to the shaking and the bloody head. [TresSugar] Keep reading »
Last night was the battle of the roommates on “American Idol.” Xenu-enthusiasts Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise watched as the always dramatic Adam Lambert and the quietly confident Kris Allen duked it out vocally. In round one, each one chose his favorite song of the competition. Adam brought back “Mad World,” and Kris made us swoon with “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone.” Next, producer Simon Fuller picked the songs—Adam got Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come,” while Kris funked out Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On.” Finally, we suffered through the contestants’ renditions of “No Boundaries,” co-written by judge Kara DioGuardi. Equally awe inspiring, in a bad way, was Paula in a day-glow green getup and Simon in a shirt unbuttoned to his bellybutton.
I know neither of these guys really wants to win because they both read my post last week about how guys who take home the “American Idol” title are eternally cursed. But since I can’t make up my mind about who I want to win, here’s a side-by-side look at these vocal monsters. Keep reading »