Quick Vid: Badass Female Mixed Martial Arts Fighter Knocks Out Reporter

Ha! This guy totally got his butt kicked by a girl. In the middle of an interview, this female MMA fighter grabs the reporter dude and puts him in a choke hold. It takes her, like, three seconds to knock him out cold. After the reporter wakes up, he’s all confused and ditzy. Never underestimate the power of a lady. Keep reading »

I Hope My Daughter Marries…

SWF seeks an out-of-shape, weekend-binge-drinking man-child who still goes to KISS concerts and cannot kick his comic book habit even though he’s well into his 40s. Must be choked by the umbilical cord of a domineering mother and live in a state of perpetual Catholic guilt that flares up when he misses Mass on Sunday or lingers too long on at a nasty corner of the World Wide Web. Lasting three minutes in the sack mandatory; five minutes a plus.

Good God. Keep reading »

Rapist Of Four-Year-Old Girl Sentenced To Only One Year

After being convicted of raping a four-year-old girl, ex-convict and Oklahoman native David Harold Earls is being sentenced to only one year in prison. He reportedly “struck a deal” in which 19 out of 20 of the years he was supposed to spend in jail were suspended.

So, how on earth did this happen? Supposedly, the rape victim (now five), made “contradictory statements during pretrial hearings.” At one point the toddler even left the court room and ran down the hallway. Can you believe that!? I guess that means her rapist is innocent!
Keep reading »

Kira Plastinina Reopening LA Stores After Epic Failure Last Year

Despite her massive U.S. failure last year — one which culminated in closing every store she’d opened in a matter of months — Russian teen designer and heiress Kira Plastinina is reopening two L.A. stores in the coming weeks. But this time, she’s got a new name — K. Plastinina rather than Kira Plastinina — and a second, higher priced line. That may distract people from the hilariousness of the venture for a bit, but this doesn’t seem like particularly sound business strategy. She’s already got 70 successful stores in Russia and we’re kind of wondering why she won’t just let it go and realize that we don’t want her tacky junk here. But she does get points for persistence! [WWD] Keep reading »

Katie Lee Joel And Other People Who’ve Disappeared Off The Face Of TV

After almost five years of marriage, Katie Lee Joel and Billy Joel (ahem, William) have filed for divorce. Now Katie Lee, who is 33 years younger than her soon-to-be ex, will disappear even further into the sunset. You probably don’t even remember that she was once the host of “Top Chef.” Yeah, I didn’t think so. That’s because she only hosted for one season, and viewers complained that she was too robotic. “Top Chef” won—they replaced Katie with Padma Lakshmi, who we love except for the fact that she eats and eats and never seems to gain any weight. But Katie isn’t alone. Check out these former TV hosts who were replaced right before their shows got epically popular. Keep reading »

Genes Might Influence Why Men Don’t Commit

Bad news for human females, as well as female voles (they’re rodents similar to mice): Swedish scientists have discovered that a man’s reluctance to commit might be in his genes. We’re not exactly sure how scientists figured out rodents don’t like to marry, but hey, whatever.

It’s called the “334 version of the AVPR1A gene” and it is more prevalent in men who didn’t want to pair up. The leader of the study said further research is required to find out how possible genetic mutations may affect women and the bonding hormone, oxytocin, which “seems to influence female pair-bonding more.” We guess this means if you’re chronically single, unforch, it might just be biology. [Times of London UK] Keep reading »

Finally, A Bra For The Less-Endowed

I´ve been a card carrying member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee since puberty. If we have this in common, then let´s rejoice and burn our padded bras together: there´s a new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder just for pebbles like ours. It’s called the Itty Bitty Bra and it does what it says: covers your itty-bitties and makes them look sexy. Taylor Swift and “Dancing With The Stars” Misty May are already fans of the line which also offers matching bikini panties and camisoles. Find them online here. Keep reading »

What To Wear When You Are Hungover

“The Hangover” is already a summer smash, killing it at the box office. While your morning-afters probably aren’t as dramatic, there’s no denying that being hungover sucks. And looking good when you feel ready to barf at any moment? Next to impossible. Be prepared next time with an outfit like this that will maximize your comfort.

  1. Sunglasses are a must, and the darker the lens, the better. [$162, Marc Jacobs, Bluefly.com]
  2. This loose-fitting gauze top won’t constrict, and can also allow you to wear a camisole sans bra underneath. [$38, BDG, Urbanoutfitters.com]
  3. Think harem pants are a risky fashion choice? Consider that a) they are super comfy and b) when you’re hungover you could give a rat’s ass. [$87, Splendid.com]
  4. Birkenstocks have a remarkable cushion and now come in non-hippy colors like this snazzy silver. [$79.95, Endless.com]

Keep reading »

New Marriage Stats Get Us Down, Then Pick Us Right Back Up

Did you know that over half of married women regret walking down the aisle with their husbands? If you said yes, well, then you know some disgruntled peeps. Just kidding! According to a recent survey of 35,000 women, happily ever after is only for the movies. Duh. While most women admitted they didn’t believe in a “soul mate,” a whopping 72 percent said they have considered leaving their husbands. But comparing those figures to the divorce rate, 20 percent of them are chickens who stick it out. Worse yet, half of ‘em were also completely bored in the boudoir or couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of freaky deaky fun. Dang, if you can’t grab your husband and say, “Yum, yum, gimme some,” what is the point? Especially since 79% of those surveyed admitted a woman has got needs. Alas, I’m single and I thought it was hard to get laid, but marriage sounds worse…sigh. What is there to look forward to? Keep reading »

Celebs Who Deny Their Sex Symbol Status

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Ryan Reynolds is cut from stone—a look at the latest Entertainment Weekly cover verifies it. Ryan chose to bear his chiseled sex-pack for the world, yet within the magazine’s pages, he claims he’s not down with being a sex symbol. “If you take any of that seriously, you need to be euthanized, ASAP,” he says. “It’s really embarrassing.” [PopEater]

Oh, Ryan. It’s cool. Here are some of your fellow incredibly-hot-people who say the same thing, even while being photographed or filmed in pretty revealing attire.

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