Katie Couric gave the Class Day address at Princeton University yesterday, and was the first female to do so! We don’t understand why the old ivy has never before invited a lady, but we’re glad Katie was there to offer her witty insights. She joked about some notorious male Princeton grads, poked a little fun at Sarah Palin’s odd remarks, and gave amusing thoughts about post-college life. She also warned to “please excuse some of the racier jokes – I was encouraged to be saucy and sassy!” No excuses necessary, Katie, we think you’re fabulous. After the jump, some of Couric’s best lines:
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Guys who go on and on and on about lady-love are so annoying. They’re lesbians, dude—they’re NOT going to be into you. The latest annoyance? “Girl Gotta Girlfriend” by the rappers Mams Taylor, Snoop Dogg and Bobby Valentino (listen above!), about a man with a girlfriend who tries to bring home a second woman for the night. Aren’t these lyrics touching?
“My girlfriend kissing on her girlfriend / They getting real naughty/ My money is cool, but I’d rather have you and my girlfriend running around my crib naked.”
The lesbian blog AfterEllen.com flipped ‘em a big gay bird, saying:
“Lesbians: We are just here for your pleasure. Do you have money and some champagne and a hotel room? Just tell us where and when!”
Yawn, enough with songs by heterosexual dudes about how great it would be to bang two women at once. There’s plenty of songs out there about real girl/girl relationships by Ani DiFranco, t.A.T.u, Jill Sobule, Le Tigre and a bunch of others. And a few fun ones by Lady GaGa and Katy Perry. Go cuddle up with your gal pal and take a listen. Keep reading »
Mel Brown flexed her muscles at Tao Beach in Las Vegas last weekend. We don’t know which is worse — her scary, overly-toned abs, or the weird bronzer she oiled on. Keep reading »
You may think your mother is bad, but this mama takes the cake. No really, she probably took it. Arizona mother Cynthia Robertson has been charged with masterminding 20 cases of armed robbery and aggravated assault in Phoenix, Arizona. How did mama Robertson do it? She used her bad financial situation and unemployment to guilt her two young sons, ages 12 and 14, and their friends into robbing people. Seriously, I know the economy sucks, but geez. Keep reading »
After my engagement ended, my tolerance for weddings was low. Very low. That first week spent on my couch in pure misery saw me turning my eyes away from any and all wedding references. The wedding book I was given by my almost-mother-in-law got hidden in the back of my closet, along with our engagement party invitations and, of course, my engagement ring (now out of sight in a locked safety deposit box!). Anything of a romantic nature in pop culture repulsed me, and for awhile all I watched was the news. It was depressing, just like me! Keep reading »
Um, did you guys see “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here” last night? If not, I’m really sorry because it was, in a word, amazing. Sanjaya from “American Idol” got chased by bees. Frangela, the hilarious duo from “Best Week Ever” who’ve been absent from my life for months now, are cast members. Also completely preposterous, the presence of Rod Blagojevich’s wife and Janice Dickinson. I hope they’ll be besties by the end of the season.
But the real story is, of course, Heidi and Spencer. Heidi cried a lot. And after finding out that, at some point, they’d have to take turns emptying the group’s PortaPotty, Spencer stormed off and gave us this sparkling gem:
“I’m too rich and I’m too famous to be sitting with these people and cleaning up their s**t in the jungle, my man. And this cast is devaluing our fame right now. I’m sitting next to VH1 comedians that I have never even seen before… I thought it was gonna be all celebrities.”
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The latest Twitter trend topic, after #3wordsaftersex, is #goodsex, where users tweet what they consider to be hot and heavy between the sheets. Ten of our faves, after the jump — tweet, er, leave yours in the comments! Keep reading »
On Sunday afternoon, my little sister Lizz is marrying one of my best friends from high school, Pat. They’ve been together for 11 years, and are the kind of couple that looks alike, talks alike, and complements each other in every way, giving me a touch of faith in this whole crazy love thing. I am pumped for the ceremony, which will be held in my favorite park in New York City, right under the Brooklyn Bridge. I am pumped that Pat will finally be my brother-in-law, a term I’ve used to describe him for years anyway. I am pumped for the reception, which will feature barbecue and cupcakes, and a “Celebrate Good Times”-free wedding dance mix created by yours truly. Heck, I’m even pumped to wear my bridesmaid dress. But there is just one little thing I’m dreading about Sunday: I have no date. Keep reading »