Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
When I walk into a fancy cooking store like Williams-Sonoma, I want to learn how to cook so I can use all the pretty mixing bowls and spatulas. But, no matter how many beautiful the cooking tools are, there are loads of them that just don’t make sense to me. Does anyone really need a pancake warmer? Wouldn’t setting the oven to a low temperature and keeping them in there do? Where there’s an ingredient, there’s an elaborate tool to prepare, cook, or store it.
With all the hullabaloo over Michael Jackson’s death on Thursday, I didn’t get around to watching part two of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion until this weekend. So glad Bravo reruns things a bajillion times, because part two was even better than part one! We went over the details of the Cop Without A Badge allegations about Danielle (she refused to comment on most of them, saying she would have her own book set the record straight) and found out how Dina and Caroline managed to marry brothers (Caroline made Albert first, and his brother Tommy, who had known Dina since she was a kid, eventually fell in love with her as an adult). The best part, however, came towards the end, when it was majorly implied that after filming was over, Danielle did something to get back at Dina. Whatever she attempted to do never actually happened and while Dina has decided to forgive her — or at least not make a public issue out of it — Caroline has not. She said that she’d never be able to forgive Danielle because “too much [had] gone down”, that she was “disgraceful” and “garbage.” So what did Danielle do?! I speculate, after the jump…. Keep reading »
Despite the fact that, like, dozens of politicians have been busted cheating on their wives since, John Edwards is still in the news for his affair with Rielle Hunter. According to the book proposal from former Edwards aide Andrew Young, a sex tape featuring Edwards humping Hunter exists. Young would know — he’s the man who famously took the fall for Edwards when he asserted that Hunter’s child was his not the Senator’s. But in the book proposal he admits that was a lie and that the child is Edwards’. He also says that Hunter told him that she and the Senator discussed getting married once Elizabeth Edwards passed away from cancer and that he actually found and has seen the sex tape the two made. Um, can I? Keep reading »
Michael Jackson’s initial autopsy findings are, in a word, scary. Not only did he weigh a shockingly-low 112 pounds at his time of death, but his stomach was empty and had just pills in it. Docs say he hadn’t eaten for at least six hours. And he was injecting a lot of pain killers, especially Demerol, which is possibly what stopped his heart. Also, his body was covered in scars, bumps, bruises, and cuts which means he was probably falling down a lot, though some of the scars are surely from getting plastic surgery 13 times. Jackson was also practically bald—sadly, that long, black hair was a wig.
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Tyra gives tribute to Michael Jackson at last night’s BET Awards through dress—it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, ’cause you can wear both. [Los Angeles, 6/28/09] Keep reading »
What your mother always told you: if you got it, flaunt it. In the U.S., that’s not so easy when “going around topless” translates to “indecent exposure.” Now, ladies in Malmö, Sweden have won the right to swim and sunbathe topless at the city’s pools. The issue was pushed by a feminist organization called Bara Bröst (translation: “bare breasts”), which gained publicity back in 2007 when two young girls were prohibited from swimming topless, one of whom explained her motive: “It’s a question of equality. I think it’s a problem that women are sexualized in this way. If women are forced to wear a top, shouldn’t men also have to?” (Amen, sister.) The city’s committee just put into action an egalitarian motion that wins the case for women, but only in a matter of wording, stipulating that everyone has to wear a bathing suit at a Malmö pool, but not insisting that a bathing suit for a female need include a top. Keep reading »
This week, I got a letter from a lady with a spicy sex life:
“My guy was cooking and I pulled him away from the kitchen to get it on. He had been cutting up peppers and in the heat of the moment didn’t think about it and touched my ‘hot’ spot. Then I actually started to feel a lot of burning — I was wondering if it could cause any damage.”
Ooooh, I can’t resist a man cooking either. I’m not a real doctor, but my guess is if your crotch isn’t still burning, it’s OK. Vagina, you’re gonna make it! Although, if you do still feel a ring of fire, see a gyno please.
For the record, both your mouth and your vagina are mucous membranes. So, in my opinion, if your mouth can go on unscathed after a slight burn, so can your poonani. Now, with that being said, obviously, not every vegetable is meant to go in your hoo-ha, in fact some would probably argue that none should. But why let mouths have all the fun! Here are some tips for food you can actually enjoy…. Keep reading »