Men don’t have “guilty pleasures.” We own, nay, celebrate what’s bad for us. Our obsessions are points of pride, not shame. You’ll never see a guy wolf down a small mountain of waffles with a side of pig and squeal, “OMG, I can’t beliiiiieeeeve I ate everything! Tee! Hee!”
We will shamelessly sit in a nest of pizza crusts playing video games for endless hours. Unabashed tears will crawl out of the corners of our eyes when the hometown team chokes at the last minute (tears so manly, of course, that they leave little craters in linoleum). Beer will be quaffed, their caloric potency mocked. These are the things that make life worth living. That, and never ever getting bored of slyly peeping springtime legs stretching out from under brand-new short skirts. Keep reading »
A new spray called PSD502 has been developed that delays premature ejaculation up to six times longer, according to a study of 300 European men. Minute men and disgruntled women everywhere rejoice.
The men were all clinically diagnosed with premature ejaculation and received either a placebo or the spray which contains 7.5 milligrams of lidocaine and 2.5 mg of prilocaine. Five minutes before intercourse, the men sprayed their wangs and used a stopwatch to record the time from penetration to ejaculation. The treatment group went from 0.6 minutes to 3.8 minutes of sex compared one minute in those who used the placebo spray. Seventy-four-percent of the men in the treatment group could last 2 minutes before ejaculating while only 22 percent could last that long in the placebo group. Keep reading »
Eminem’s “We Made You” video pokes fun at celebrities who have made headlines over the past couple years — Bret Michaels for his skanky love search, Jessica Simpson for her weight (should Em really be throwing stones?), Amy Winehouse for her yellow teeth and general cracked-out appearance, Lindsay Lohan for dating Sam Ronson, and Kim Kardashian for her huge booty. The video even features the star of “Nailin’ Palin,” a Hustler porno spoofing Sarah Palin. Obviously, Eminem has been reading tabloids and watching reality TV during his time off, but it’s all in good fun, or at least Kim Kardashian thinks so. “I think this video is so funny! I am a huge Eminem fan and find it flattering that he would rap about me,” said Kim. “He’s a bit harsh about some other celebrities, but you just have to let it go and have a sense of humor. Personally, I’m honored.” The video is rather hilarious, but the song isn’t that funny, entertaining, or catchy when you don’t listen and watch. It just sounds like the usual Eminem fare updated for 2009. Kudos to Dr. Dre for a banging beat, though. Keep reading »
The Stranger‘s has a hilarious column called “The Different Kinds Of People That There Are: A Complete List,” which is, of course, not a complete list by any means, but is still hilarious. Here’s a sample:
People Who Will Just Have a Bite of Whatever You’re Having: Please, please, please just order your own lasagna.
People Who Studied Abroad in a Third-World Country: Congratulations.
People Who Are Secret Hookers: They’re your friends, but they’re hookers! Ssssh!
After I was done laughing, I realized there’s a similar list to be made about the different types of GUYS there are. Check out 15 generalizations, after the jump! Keep reading »
In a recession, people want escapism and a happy ending. The depressing economic situation has lead to an increase in sales of romance novels, while most other genres are having a difficult time selling at all. Harlequin Enterprises, the grande dame of the romance genre, reported a 32 percent increase in 2008 earnings during the fourth quarter, compared to a year earlier. Sales in the first quarter of 2009 also remained strong, said Harlequin’s chief executive. During the Great Depression, Gone With the Wind was a blockbuster book, and readers today are looking for a similar escape from the harsh reality of foreclosures, lay-offs, and rising prices. Romance novels not only provide a welcome happy ending, but they’re also cheap, which is a plus for anyone trying to limit their guilty pleasures spending. Most paperback novels sell for $7.99 or less, compared to larger trade paperbacks that cost $12 to $15. It’s not clear, however, how much it will cost your ego if you’re caught reading a sappy romance novel in public. [NY Times] Keep reading »
Dating coach Rachel Greenwald was on “The Today Show” this morning schlocking her new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back. For the book, Greenwald conducted “in-depth” interviews with 1,000 men and in her interview this morning, she laid out the ten main reasons they cited for not calling a woman back. These aren’t so much “reasons,” it turns out, as they are 10 female stereotypes that scare guys away, because of course it’s never about the men and whatever issues THEY might have, but always about the mistakes women make and how screwed up they are. What’s the number one way to buck your particular stereotype and guarantee a call-back? “Be nice,” the dating coach instructs. Watch the full clip above for other insightful advice you never would have thought of on your own. Keep reading »
In general, sex makes people stupid — why else would anyone get it on with a complete stranger and not bother with protection? But there must be something in the water these days, because lately people are acting especially idiotic about intercourse.
A 31-year-old sex-offender in Arizona posed as a 12-year-old to enroll in several schools. Apparently this guy looks really young for his age, because he pulled off this stunt for two years. Neil Havens Rodreick II was sentenced to 70.5 years in prison yesterday. [AP]
A commercial helicopter pilot who joined the mile high club while he was the pilot has lost his flying license. David Keith Martz was videotaped in a sex act (with an adult film actress) while flying over San Diego in 2005, and the video hit the internet last year. Martz will be able to reapply for his license next year. [SignOnSanDiego.com]
A 15-year New York Police Department veteran who tested positive for cocaine in 2006 isn’t getting his job back even though he swears he didn’t do the drug. Jon Goldin sued last year after a NY state appeals court rejected the NYPD’s use of hair to test cops for illegal drug use. His lawsuit said the positive test was a result of “passive ingestion” from performing oral sex on his then-girlfriend, who later admitted to Goldin that she was a regular cocaine user. We don’t understand how cocaine could go from his girlfriend’s privates to his body unless she had sprinkled a white powder down her drawers. [NY Daily News]
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Designer Benjamin Lignel has come up with a concept for wedding rings that don’t require you to know your (or your partner’s) ring size, or to go to multiple fittings so your sparkler doesn’t fall off. His Instant Wedding Rings remind us of when we used to wrap those twisty ties around our fingers when we were about 9 years old. Perfect for recession-friendly and last-minute weddings! Right now, these rings are just prototypes, so if you need an inexpensive band, check out these. [BenjaminLignel.com] Keep reading »
Christian Louboutin is known for his uber-sexy, red-soled heels, but now he’s venturing into the world of sneakers — at least he’s staying true to his leopard print fixation. No word on where to buy these or how much they cost, but the pumps sell for an average of $800 at fine department stores and boutiques, so we’re guessing these would be comparably priced. Would you fork over that kind of money for these kicks? [Fashion Indie] Keep reading »