One of the things I finally realized about ten months ago — four months before I got engaged — is that one of the main reasons why getting married freaked me out so much, why I always labeled myself “not really a marriage person”, is that it brought up a very difficult problem. Do I invite my dad?

My dad and I aren’t really close, which really isn’t that unusual of an issue for people — but we’re more than just “not close”. Without airing too much of his dirty laundry — and inspiring an unhappy phone call later this evening — I can explain that while I was in college, my dad made some choices that resulted in losing his job, ending relationships with most of his friends, and breaking up his marriage to my mom. Needless to say, our relationship, which had once been very close, was damaged as well, and because he didn’t exactly quickly rebound, apologize, and get his act together (really, still kind of waiting on that), a lot of time passed before I could even consider forgiving him. And I’m pretty sure there’s not enough time in the world to make inviting him to my wedding — let alone playing an integral part — a pleasant option. Keep reading »