If it weren’t for the covers of women’s magazines like Glamopolitan, my time standing in grocery lines would be spent reading the copy on my frozen dinners. It’s amazing how reading “succulent tenderloins cradled by fluffy mashed potatoes” makes a meal squeezed out of a nozzle and flash frozen taste that much better. It was standing in line with my pathetic pyramid of bachelor food that I learned that there are, like, 1,342 different ways to drive me wild.
And here I was, thinking there was only one, 100% guaranteed way to drive me wild, and that was to touch my penis. At this juncture, I’d like to state that I’m also speaking for all of dudekind. Sweeping gender platitudes is what I do. So take the ice cube out of your mouth, the feather out of my ass, and go for the gold. Is there a Nobel Prize for sex advice? I’d like to thank you all. Keep reading »
Action packed and star studded, even the trailer sells a new concept for an old hero. Guy Ritchie promised a new take on “Sherlock Holmes,” and he delivers by casting Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes, Rachel McAdams as bad girl Irene Adler, and Jude Law as sidekick Watson. Yes, you heard right, Jude Law is playing bumbling sidekick Watson. Wouldn’t he have been a better fit for the brooding and mysterious crime solver? Whatever, he’s definitely still got our attention. “Sherlock Holmes” makeover is revealed in previews that show him in shirtless boxing matches and handcuffed to a bed naked, but the whole cast insists this is deeply rooted in the original description of the character. If this sounds just a little too heavy for you, the good news is that “Borat” and “Bruno”‘s Sasha Baron Cohen is in talks to star in a comedic version of “Sherlock Holmes” alongside Will Ferrell. These two haven’t been paired up since “Talledega Nights,” but we all remember how that turned out! Guess we’ll just have to wait and see which couple is going to make the best crime fighting duo. Trailer, after the jump… [Sherlock Holmes Movie] Keep reading »
Oh Bravo, why did you do this to me? I lost my faith in TV after the second season of “Survivor,” but found hope again in the wonder that was “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.” Upon viewing the first promotional commercial I remember thinking: Could it be? Is it true? Is there really going to be a channel that will produce high quality television with unique and innovative programming? I gripped the armchairs of the sofa in anticipation. Bravo was soooooo good, and it only got better. While still basking in the warm glow of “Queer Eye” I was knocked out by the awesomeness that was “Project Runway.” I was a little dubious about “The Real House Wives of Orange Country,” but soon realized that though this was a reality show, it was not a trashy one. Bravo did not so much exploit the Housewives as they exploited themselves. I am sure the peeps in the editing room had some fun with sound bites, but the humor was still sophisticated and smart. Bravo popped out reality show after reality show. Rather than losing interest in the formulaic reality-mold, I became alternately obsessed with cooking, modeling, decorating, designing, etcetera. Bravo was fantastic. Now with the premiere of “NYC Prep” tonight, I fear Bravo has stooped to the level of trashy. Keep reading »
According to one writer, Edward Cullen, the moody heartthrob of “Twilight” (in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so), has ruined, just ruined the chances of young men when it comes to wooing their female counterparts. Ergo, Lydia Netzer lists “Ten Ways ‘Twilight’ Has Ruined a Generation of High School Girlfriends.” Apparently, Cullen’s sullen, pouty ways, heroic casualness, and come-here-go-away dating vibe has won the hearts of teen girls but destroyed the likelihood of teen boys scoring with them. Keep reading »
Joseph Brooks, the guy who wrote “You Light Up My Life” and won an Oscar for it, is facing 82 counts of rape-related charges against 11 different women since 2005. He lured these young gals into his apartment by dangling the fame carrot in front of them—he’d have them sit on his “casting couch” and tell them to drink a lot of wine, because the part they were auditioning for was a wine-swilling prostitute. If they refused he’d whip out his…Oscar. Eventually, this nasty dude allegedly attacked and raped them. Not surprisingly, he picked up most of his victims via Craigslist, with an ad that claimed an Oscar-winner was looking for someone he could turn into a star. [NY Post]
Geez, what’s with all these guys using Craigslist for nefarious purposes? First, it was the Craigslist killer. Then there was that guy who posted on CL to find someone to rape his wife while he watched. Now this? Here are some tips for making sure you’re not responding to some twisted guy’s ad. Obviously, there are no guarantees. But, hey, it’s a start. Keep reading »
Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s new book The G-Free Diet: A Gluten-Free Survival Guide is supposed to help people with Celiac disease, like herself, eat well. Too bad she may have ripped the idea from someone else. Massachusetts-based author Susan Hasset is suing the “View” co-host for copyright infringement. Apparently Hasset, who can’t digest wheat either, sent Hasselbeck a copy of her book Living With Celiac Disease last April, along with a cooking video, a note, a business card, and a nice bundle of info. So is it just a coincidence that Hasselbeck’s book hit the shelves last month? [Fox News] Keep reading »
The first part of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion was on last night and it was genius. In addition to rehashing the table-turning drama at the final episode dinner and uttering an uncountable number of “bubbies,” the ladies discussed their family values. In particular, Caroline, Dina, Jacqueline, Teresa and Danielle all plan on teaching their daughters how to keep a clean house and select their future husband’s clothes for them. As for the sons? Well, they just hope their future daughter-in-laws baby their babies the way they do. Sigh. Also climactic? Caroline defending her husband and deceased father-in-law, who the media has claimed had mafia connections. Clip above! I got chills. Part two airs tomorrow night — can’t wait! Keep reading »
In these tough economic times, even the rules of who should pay for a date are uncertain. While we pretty much universally agree that dudes should foot the bill for the first excursion out, you can’t always know if your date’s going to agree, especially if he’s lost his job or is watching his budget. And if it’s date number two or more, you really can’t count on a freebie. Blasted!
But ladies, before you resign yourselves to a life of watching back-to-back episodes of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” know that a packed calendar of fun—and free—dates can be had. You just have to be clever. Here are eight ways to get out of paying for a date. Keep reading »
Are you tired of useless products and having big boobies? Well, The Kush can finally solve both your problems and put you to sleep! Uh, that is so long as you can sleep while getting tittie humped by a $55 piece of plastic. Sweet dreams!
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Rain ponchos are in for Spring 2010. [Dsquared2 Fashion Show, Milan, 6/23/09] Keep reading »