Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
I won’t lie to y’all and say I watched the “BET Awards” last night because you know I was captivated by a great episode of “True Blood.” But I did check out the red carpet photos this morning, and I have to say I was unimpressed by most of what I saw. Some, like Melody Thornton (pictured), tried so hard to be avant-garde but ended up looking a hot mess. Others played it so safe they were boorrring. But at least there were a few celebs who donned perfect red carpet outfits.
Gollum slithered around the picnic tables in a bald wig and a loincloth. Bilbo Baggins manned the barbecue. An elf with pointy ears asked if we had any veggie burgers.
My boyfriend, David, and I had not come dressed for the “Lord Of The Rings” theme for his family’s annual group vacation with their friends. But costumed or not, I knew I’d be under scrutiny: I’m the first woman he’d brought along to introduce to everybody in his 26 years of attending.
As Gollum lumbered by towards the card table full of key lime pies and cookie burgers, I turned to David and grinned. “Real love,” I said, “is spending the weekend with your parents and their friends when everyone is dressed like Hobbits.” He grinned back and we kissed.
Forty-eight hours later, David and I decided that we would move in together, waking up next to each other every morning and falling asleep together every night. Beginning our lives together this way felt like the right thing to do.
But did I mention we’ve only been dating for two months? Keep reading »
A photo of Lindsay Lohan from this past weekend at the Wet Republic pool celebrating her birthday got me thinking—I can’t stand the swimsuit and sky-high-heel look. I understand, of course, why someone would want to wear heels when they are showing that much skin, but, seriously now, it looks ree-diculous. Check out these stars rocking the heels and swimsuit look, and tell me, sexy or skanky?
Bernie Madoff was just sentenced to 150 years in prison for running a ponzi scheme that spanned 20 years, rolled $65 billion into his pocket, and swindled many bold-faced names like Jon Malkovich, Steven Spielberg, Elie Weisel, Kevin Bacon, and Kyra Sedgwick. Now, this guy deserves some serious punishment, but 150 years? The average American man lives to be 75, and Bernie is 71 now. Which means, oh, four years in prison. Why didn’t the judge just say “life?” [NY Times]
This got us thinking: who else has gotten a super long prison sentence? Find out, after the jump… Keep reading »
I had a really weird dream last night. I went to work at the restaurant where I wait tables, but I had a major problem. My left foot fell off. I was freaking out because I obviously couldn’t wait tables without my left foot. I approached my friend Dan and asked him to keep my foot for me — I trusted him to take good care of it because he is anal-retentive and has a mild case of OCD. He put it in a solution in a large bell jar which was filled with formaldehyde. I knew that my foot was safe.
I was worried because I still needed to work and didn’t want my bosses to know that I had no left foot. I could still walk around perfectly, by the way. I started searching for my black tights, because I knew that I would be able to keep my foot on with them and because they are dark that no one would see the bloody cut or the wraps around my ankle. I borrowed a pair of tights from a co-worker, got the foot from Dan, and was going to proceed to attach my foot back on to my leg, although I didn’t actually re-attach it in the dream. Next thing I knew I was showing everyone the bloody cut and we were all in awe of how well the tights were keeping my foot on. What the hell? – Footless Keep reading »
Finding cute workout clothes can be a challenge, especially when you don’t want to shell out for those designer Stella McCreditcardmaxout lines. New from the Gap Group: Athleta, a line of workout clothing for women that’s affordable and attractive. We’re not going to say the styles are to-die-for, but it’s worth checking out. You can shop by sport, which doesn’t just include your basic yogawear and running gear, but also covers ski/snowboarding, golf, and hiking. In the mix you’ll find bra-tanks in punchy colors, skirt-capris, patterned performance swimsuits that are the anti-Speedo, and nylon tennis dresses. There are some crazy prints that vary from loud graphic flowers to hippie mendi designs that you may want to be cautious about wearing. At least you can say they’re not boring! [Athleta] Keep reading »
While we regular women find it hard to keep up with Megan Fox and her hotness, try being her “Transformers” stunt double. Vanity Fair sat down with danger woman Stacey Carino, who was a 5th grade science teacher. After surviving a room full of preteens and jumping between rooftops to avoid explosions, Ms. Carino knows a thing or two about stayin’ in shape. She revealed her secret for getting the perfect body: mountain biking. Stacey swears, “It keeps you strong without looking strong. For stunt girls, you have to have that. You have to be fit without looking fit.”
Is it just me or are men getting a little bit more polite? Jaded New Yorker that I am, I tend to assume anyone close to me on the subway is trying to steal my wallet or feel me up. Though the “accidental” ass-grab still happens about once a week, it’s becoming less frequent. I choose to view the lack of groping phenomenon not as a sign of my decreasing desirability, but as a sign of increasing old fashioned manners. In my semi-scientific survey I have discovered that at least three other women agree that men these days are more likely to offer gals their seat on the bus, carry heavy bags, open doors and pay compliments, even when there is no hope of sex. I have a theory: the recession. Maybe I am just searching for the silver lining on the dreary financial cloud, but I do think the economic woes have made us slightly more civilized. Before I conclusively decide exactly what factor is making dudes walking examples of Emily Post etiquette, I will postulate my three main theories. Keep reading »
When I walk into a fancy cooking store like Williams-Sonoma, I want to learn how to cook so I can use all the pretty mixing bowls and spatulas. But, no matter how many beautiful the cooking tools are, there are loads of them that just don’t make sense to me. Does anyone really need a pancake warmer? Wouldn’t setting the oven to a low temperature and keeping them in there do? Where there’s an ingredient, there’s an elaborate tool to prepare, cook, or store it.