Single Ladies, We Found You A V-Day Date!

This single man is extremely desperate for a girlfriend to come and see him. You can call him. Please!? Just call him! Please!!! Any takers? [robot in disguise] Keep reading »

Jesse Eisenberg And Mark Zuckerberg Come Face-To-Face On “SNL”

Ahh, “Saturday Night Live.” Thank you for making our interwebian dreams come true. On Saturday’s episode, Jesse Eisenberg of “The Social Network” hosted and in his opening monologue, shared with us his knowledge of the menstrual cycle. Soon after, he was joined on stage by (Andy Samberg and) Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook creator who Jesse portrayed not-so-flatteringly in the movie. It was every bit as awkward as we all imagined. Oh, but I did have a few breakthroughs while watching: First, I realized that these two dudes share the second half of their last names. And also that Zuckerberg sounds a lot like a not-so-happy Kermit the Frog. Keep reading »

Portia De Rossi’s Mom Didn’t Want Her To Date Ellen DeGeneres

“My mother would freak out about me dating women. If I called her and said I’d been out on a date, she’d start panicking and saying, ‘What if they found out? What if they found out who you are?’ So I’d say, ‘Mom, relax, I’m not dating Ellen DeGeneres, for God’s sake.’ It was really funny because when I finally called her and said, ‘Mom, guess who I’m dating? Ellen DeGeneres,’ it was that worst case scenario moment for her. I guess it was for me, also, because I had been kind of creeping out of the closet, but I’d never come out in the media and confirmed that I was, in fact, gay. I just lived my life openly and whoever knew, knew. But I’ve since realized that that’s even more damaging, because if people assume that you’re gay but you don’t publicly admit to it, it seems like there really is something to be ashamed of.”

Portia de Rossi on being halfway out of the closet — and now, she and Ellen are the cutest couple in Hollywood! [Bust Magazine] Keep reading »

For The Week Of January 31- February 6., 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re the sign of practicality, and testing to see if there is potential beyond just chemistry before falling head-over-heels is not insane. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they just don’t get you. As it goes, to love you is to love your wacky little routines and if you find someone trying to edit you now, be warned, they will just try to edit you more later.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your heart might be operating one way, but your brains will be going another and oddly enough, it’ll be your brains that will have the right answer, as your heart won’t be giving the expansiveness that you need to ultimately feel happy. Yes, even though you’ll have to feel some pain now, consider this the more productive and less masochistic price to pay in the long run.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There will be weird detours coming, presenting you with a slew of bizarre opportunities not to pass up. So, don’t blow off strange conversations or invites that come to you subtly, because momentum will come slowly. However, if you’re open to surprises, these may just knock you down to your knees.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You might start the week more gung-ho about something or someone than you will end the week. Whatever, it’s not going to be entirely your fault, as some people just can’t help that they are that boring and that once they get past bringing it for the first stage, the don’t have to much after to give. So are the gambles of how you love, as many are too banal to even know how to keep up.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Getting sucked into a pretty face is always fun; even more so when you know your limits and know when to call it quits — as in briefly after. Yes, good times are best taken like a sampler set, rather than in bulk, as in the less emotion you throw in, the more juicy gossip you can amass for yourself and a bit more man-eating cred gets under your belt.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Consider yourself a few steps ahead of the game, as in your object of affection or just the random people all around you. While you can share all your ideas until you are blue in the face, no one is going to be catching on fast and it’ll require some patience on your part. However, don’t stop, keep working out your plans, because this time around, the ball is in your court to be the leader.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll be feeling too exhausted to even think about romance. So, hit the chill out button and just relax, as the next leg of your adventure will need all your energy in full blast mode. For now, learn the “get to know you” thing in a more platonic way. This is a perfect time to take applicants, but not to submit to any positions.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

There’s nothing hotter that showing off your accomplishments and owning your power, as that is going to be all that you have to do to attract the right energy to you this week. Go ahead, mix and mingle, as opportunities are out there waiting, which could also win you a few worthy flirtations and cold hard cash — and at the end of this day, that’ll be what rings your bell.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Go ahead and lay it down on the line with all your emotions and a few skeletons in the closet. If you want your home life to settle into shape, then time to throw some more cement into the foundation and make your honey see new sides to you. After all, you are one half of the equation and by adding to this brew, you can control some of its new flavors.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Brace yourself, because this week will bring out the truth — which can be good or bad, depending on how much pressure you’ve put on the situation in question. Chances are you already know the gist of what is to come, but it’s the delivery of it that will blow your mind. As for your response? Only when it happens will you know what it’ll actually be.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You aren’t paranoid if you think you have to read in-between the lines to solve the current mystery on your hands, as you’ll need to sniff out clues in the oddest of places. Of course, when all becomes clear, you’ll find the situation way freakier than assumed and it will give you reason to pause … before you dive deeper in. After all, who can resist trouble? Certainly not you!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

There is nothing wrong with getting in the passenger seat every so often, especially when your boo will have so many good ideas and the confidence to execute them. So, just sit back and relax, as this is the time the spotlight will be for two and the more you settle into your identity as a team, the more rewards you’ll reap.

Therapy For Your Pocketbook Episode 14: “Avoid Lifestyle Creep”

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Weekend Wear: Vanessa Paradis’ Effortless French Fashionista Look

Vanessa Paradis is one of Karl Lagerfeld’s muses, which is why I think she felt she could get away with wearing such a casual look for the Chanel fashion show in Paris this week. Whatever, I think it makes for an excellent weekend outfit for us regular Janes. Click onward to see how to get it the faux Chanel way. Keep reading »

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