Fall ’09: The Death Of The Dress?

Dum, dum, DUM. With New York shows just around the corner and the temperature already taking its first dips well south of 70 degrees, the beginnings of fall are upon us—and I couldn’t be happier. Cozy sweaters, chic ankle length pants, full skirts, booties … OMFG. Bring. It. On. Much like every September before this one, I find myself chomping at the bit to start layering up and dragging my tights and boots out of storage. But as I envision all the new-again clothes I’m already mentally planning to wear, one very specific type of clothing is missing … the dress. For the first time in what feels like decades, I’m not looking forward to throwing on any dresses. This is a huge departure for me. Huge. And I’m not alone… Keep reading »

Hailey Glassman Shoots A Faux Match.com Profile


Since taking yourself too seriously should be a crime, I truly appreciate it when people of note take to Funny or Die to completely decimate themselves in mock online dating profiles. This Hailey Glassman Match.com vid seems particularly brave. “I’m looking for someone who’s half Asian, kind of chubs, with hair plugs. Someone who likes Ed Hardy thongs and white chicks who wear their trucker hats to the side,” she says. “About me—I like to party. Get wasted, take cute photos with guns. I can burp the alphabet. I dunno, people say I’d be a great stepmother to eight kids.” But is it just me, or did those burps totally turn your stomach? Keep reading »

Aubrey O’Day Says That Fidel Castro And Adolf Hitler Are Totes “Brilliant”


First Aubrey O’Day butchered our favorite New Order song, “Bizarre Love Triangle.” Now, she’s defending dictators and mass murderers. For some reason, she appeared on Sean Hannity’s show yesterday, and you won’t even believe what she had to say about Fidel Castro and Adolf Hitler. According to her, they’re both brilliant? Yeah, she never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. Keep reading »

How To Spot A Bastard In 30 Seconds

conan obrien pointy jpg
CHIN
Conviction is hot and if you want a man with balls look for a well-defined jaw. His chin will reveal his heroic side.
ROUND
Not a risk-taker, but has a heart of gold.
SQUARE

Being methodical is the only way he sees results.
WIDE
Does everything with flair.
SHORT
Business-minded and traditional.
LONG
Egomaniac.
DIMPLED
The winning underdog.
RECEDING
He turns into a ball and chain.
POINTED
Original, determined and bold.

Pity The Fool Who Edited Levi Johnston’s Piece For Vanity Fair

Sure, Levi Johnston is easy on the eyes, but can the hockey hunk write? We’re guessing probably not. Why, then, is Vanity Fair publishing a piece by Levi titled “Me And Sarah Palin” when there are real journalists who would die for a byline in the national magazine? Clearly, Levi is dumb as rocks, but his handlers have brilliantly steered him off-course from D-list celebrity nude pix doom to the respectable pages of VF. Levi’s cover story is not online yet, so we have to wait for whatever fresh angle Bristol Palin‘s baby daddy could possibly cast on Alaska’s ex-guv. But we already know she’s shady as hell, alright? [Vanity Fair] Keep reading »

You Know You Want It: Men Of Mortuaries

Some girls like bankers. Some girls like farmers. And some girls like morticians. Yes, it appears that some ladies have a thing for guys who lay the dead to rest. Ergo: the Men of Mortuaries Calendar. The half-naked dudes featured are all funeral directors and/or morticians. Take, for example, Mr. July, Kevin Devine, who likes to swim and bury dead people. I love that in a man. It’s all for charity, which is a wonderful thing. But where’s the 2010 calendar? I need one, stat. Or I might die. [Coilhouse] Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Tyra Isn’t Engaged, She Simply Likes Old Jewelry

  • Tyra Banks says she isn’t engaged; the ring she’s been wearing on her left ring finger is her 10-karat, diamond-less high school class ring. [Us Weekly] — I think she and boyfriend John Utendahl are going to end up like Oprah and Steadman.
  • Hayden Panettiere was all smiles as she walked with boyfriend Harry Morton. [Socialite Life]
  • Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr are still going strong. [Just Jared] — They looked so hipster-y dining in New York City’s SoHo yesterday.

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(Another) Quote Of The Day: Jon Hamm Isn’t Getting Married Unless His Girlfriend Makes Him

“Marriage doesn’t really mean anything to me. I feel like in many ways marriage is more for the families [of the couple] than for the people involved, so I don’t gravitate to it. But I’ve also said that the minute that Jen is like, ‘You need to marry me,’ I’ll be like, ‘All right!’ We are both on the same page.”

Jon Hamm, on why he and longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt haven’t gotten hitched [Elle] Keep reading »

Ben & Jerry’s Launches “Hubby Hubby” Ice Cream In Support Of Marriage Equality

Ben & Jerry’s is showing their support for marriage equality by changing their iconic ice cream flavor “Chubby Hubby” to “Hubby Hubby” as of today. Sept. 1 is the first day gay couples can marry in the state of Vermont, where Ben & Jerry’s is based. The brand is celebrating the occasion by partnering with Freedom to Marry “to raise awareness about why marriage equality matters and encourage nationwide support for the freedom to marry.” Cool huh? [FreedomToMarry.org] Keep reading »

Decode My Dream: I’m Scared Of Falling!

I had a crazy dream last night. I was at the top of a construction crane — the ones they use for high rises. I should mention that I am an architect by profession. The crane was yellow and I was at the very top of it holding on like someone holds on to a ladder and I was looking down at everything below. The crane was moving in a circle, which really put me off balance. I wanted to get down, but I was paralyzed with fear of falling, as this thing spun around slowly in a circle over the buildings below. I looked down at the crane operator, and he smiled and waved. I said, “I’m sorry! I just climbed up here to have a look.” He gave me a thumb’s up. He wasn’t worried about me at all. He trusted that I knew what I was doing as he spun this thing around. I finally started to climb down like a ladder and I met two other guys. They were also hanging on ladder-style. At one point, an elevator the size of a small phone booth rushed by, and the other guy holding on moves his hands just as it passes so it doesn’t knock him down. And I’m thinking, “Man! These guys do this all day, and they don’t get tired and they have no safety harness…..that’s pretty amazing.” So I’m shooting the breeze with them, but I really want to talk about how I’d love to find a way to get that elevator to come by, so I can get in and get down. But there was a feeling of not letting go of the rungs, to grab the other rungs to get down and just being a bit frozen like a cat in a tree hanging on. Any thoughts? – Hanging On for Dear Life
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