Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Fellas! Valentine’s Day is less than a week away — how ya holdin’ up? Have you figured out what to get your special lady (if you have one, that is)? No? Hmm. Not to put to even more pressure on you, but seriously, you really don’t want to f**k this up. Valentine’s Day is the most important day ever created for anyone with a vagina*** and you do want to get laid again, right? Don’t worry — we’re all basically single, so we can pretend to be your hypothetical girlfriend for a hot second and advise you as to where on the “expensive vs. cheap”/”romantic vs. lame” scale the V-Day gifts you might be considering fall. We don’t want you to get dumped because you thoughtlessly gave her a weedwacker or a boob job consultation.
[Note to any future boyfriends of mine: I would actually love a Dyson. But I am a clean freak and not your average chick.]
***Sarcasm alert! Keep reading »
For Valentine’s Day, instead of waiting for love letters that’ll never come — who sends those anymore, anyway? — we decided to practice a little self-love in the name of St. Valentine by writing them to ourselves. We invite you to do the same in the comments. Yesterday Amelia shared hers and today is Jessica’s turn… Keep reading »
Most inappropriate Christmas card ever: the boss of a Swedish taxi company emailed holiday greetings to his staff featuring pictures of the company’s secretaries’ bottoms as they bent over in g-strings. According to IceNews, the Orebo taxi boss asked employees to match the secretary to the ass depicted in the photo in a multiple-choice quiz.”We couldn’t believe it. It was not even funny,” a female employee told Swedish newspaper, Nerikes Allehanda. The boss is now being investigated for sexism by the transport workers’ union, who first learned of the email after Christmas (although I wonder if the meaning of “sexism” and “sexual harassment” were lost in translation). And I’m sure you’ll be shocked — shocked! — to hear this guy has allegedly been accused of inappropriate behavior in the past. Try to keep your “Secretary” fantasies out of the office, people. [IceNews] Keep reading »
Lindsay Lohan may be out as Linda Lovelace, but the word on the street is that she’s been having an awful lot of conversations with the makers of the new “Superman” reboot, starring Henry Cavill. Apparently, Lindsay is in talks for a role. It’s been confirmed that there will be no Lois Lane this time around, which has me thinking maybe LiLo is being considered to play Lana Lang, Clark Kent’s first love. After all, Lindsay does have the right initials for the franchise. [TMZ]
I love Halloween. Ditto Thanksgiving. I am all about the Fourth of July—bring on the fireworks and hot dogs. I even enjoy a good April Fool’s prank. In fact, there is only one secular holiday that makes me break out into hives: Valentine’s Day.
See, St. Valentine and I have a complex relationship. Keep reading »