The Elusive Facebook Poke, Decoded

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Finally, my least favorite form of electronic communication has been demystified. I never understood the point of “poking” on Facebook. If you want to talk to me, why not just send me a message or write on my wall? It seems like a whole lot of trouble for nothing, considering I’ve never returned a Facebook poke in my life. I guess I just didn’t know how to respond. Do you return a poke with a poke? A message? Too confusing. This makes things a whole lot clearer. [I Love Charts] Keep reading »

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Kate Middleton’s Face Mysteriously Appears On A Jelly Bean

Sightings of Jesus and the Virgin Mary are so passe. The new IT sighting to have is of almost-princess, Kate Middleton. A UK couple was ecstatic when they found Kate’s face peering back at them from their jar full of jelly beans. “I saw her immediately. She was literally lying there staring back at me … Given that the royal wedding is only a few weeks away, we hope to make a few pounds out of it by selling it on the internet to a collector,” said the man. The mango-flavored relic will be available for auction on Ebay for a mere $700. The jelly bean manufacturers claim that Kate’s likeness was unintentional, that every mango jelly bean is unique due to the handmade process. It must be divine intervention. [Telegraph UK]

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David Letterman Fixates On Courteney Cox’s Nip Slip


Courteney Cox appeared on David Letterman‘s couch last night, and the two chatted about her recent vacation to St. Barts. David took the opportunity to show some photos of Courteney strutting in a bikini. “You know when the paparazzi are there, so that’s real, but I was working it pretty hard,” said Courteney. “I sucked it in … My arms are stretched out. I don’t [normally] walk like that! It became a joke, like, alright let’s see how ‘Sports Illustrated’ we can get… I had a little nipple slip.” At which point, David whipped out a photo of Courteney’s wardrobe malfunction in the surf. “Wow, Dave, that’s not pixelated or anything!” Courteney responded. “I don’t know if we can show that,” replied Dave, and then did it anyway. [PopEater] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Sister Taught Me How To Masturbate

Masturbation Myths
Dr. V dispels some common self love lies. Read More »

I was 14 and I was having slippery feelings. I was having them for Roelle, the sophomore with giant tits who told me she liked my shirt, before crawling under a wool blanket to make out with her boyfriend on the front lawn of the high school. I was having them for Eleanor, who told me it was her dad’s birthday the three times I asked her to hang out. I was even having them for Colleen, who was only 4’7”, and who ate her height in Taco Bell tacos, and who therefore smelled like she had been bathing in a vat of expired salsa. Keep reading »

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