Amish Romance Novels Put A Boner In Your Bonnet

In “bonnet books,” as Amish romances are called, the author’s idea of a sexual climax is typically a few (sinful!) kisses spread throughout 300 pages. Sounds hawt, huh? But Amish romances, such as ones by Beverly Lewis, Wanda Brunstetter, and Cindy Woodsmall, are selling by the millions. Says Barnes & Nobel book buyer, Jane Love, “It’s almost like you put a person with a bonnet or an Amish field in the background and it automatically starts to sell well!” [WSJ]

Yet “bonnet books” surely have more readers than just God-fearing folks who churn their own butter. (I’ve seen the books on the Borders’ shelves shopped by my fellow Connecticut suburbanites and, trust me, those people are pretty depraved.) I guess temptation, forbidden love and scandal—whether with vampires, NASCAR drivers, or the Amish—appeal to everybody!

After the jump, a few sexy, saucy bits from Amish romance novels that’ll have your bonnet all tied up. Keep reading »

Quote Of The Day: Drew Barrymore And Ellen Page Are Smooching Besties

“Ellen has such a beautiful body, and I personally battled with my own body image for years. I used to tell myself, You can’t wearing anything sleeveless or strapless. And all of a sudden I was like, What if I just didn’t send such negative messages to my brain and said, wear it and enjoy it? And now I’m more comfortable in clothes than ever …. [Ellen] was in her frickin’ bra with an open jacket and hot pink shorts, skating around the rink with red lips and … she was sexy as a mother … a feral creature. It was great.”

– Drew Barrymore discussing body image issues with “Whip It!” star Ellen Page and Marie Claire Keep reading »

Why We’re Obsessed With … Repetto Shoes

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The Bag Everyone’s Making A Big Old Fuss About This Fall

We’ve already discussed The Shoe that we non-famous people are going all bats**t crazy over, but here’s The Bag of the season, according to Alexander McQueen’s Twitter feed and, um, visual proof — Freida Pinto, Kelly Osbourne, Little Boots and Sam Taylor Wood all wore his Skull Knuckle Duster Clutch to those GQ awards we were discussing yesterday. (On that note, if you haven’t witnessed Kate Moss’ temper tantrum yet, please watch it ASAP.) This shiz is smokin’ hot if, say, you’re into skulls and leather and all that crap (and I assure you, I am), but the problem is that I’m pretty sure the designer’s publicists sent these gorgeous young folks this clutch free of charge, because that’s basically how this system works. Sadly, most of us peons will never quite achieve McQueenian nirvana since the price tag of this delectable little number is no less than $1,895. Check it out here if you want to buy it and/or don’t believe me. Get a much closer look at it after the jump, because you know at least we can look forward to knockoffs coming to an H&M near us soon. Keep reading »

Politician Describes Spanking His Mistress While Miked At An Assembly Meeting

I don’t even have time to list all the politicians who’ve been caught having affairs in recent years. But at least Mark Sanford and John Edwards had the good sense not to talk about their dalliances on tape. California State Assemblyman Mike Duvall, a self-stated “family values warrior” who recently won the Ethics in America award, forgot that he was wearing a microphone when, before an assembly meeting, he dished all the dirty deets of his affair(s) to an assembly buddy. “I’ve been getting into spanking her,” he said on the recording. “I like it!” [CNN]
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Dating Don’ts: How Much Is Too Much Information?

I still remember the confused look on my date’s face as I self-consciously blurted out, apropos of nothing, “I’ve just lost seven pounds on Weight Watchers and I intend to lose 15 more!”

With that I stifled a burp, plunked down my pint glass and realized that we (meaning, he) had been talking about his band, not my tummy bulge. But who could blame me? Weight Watchers assigns each food a points value and you’re only allowed a certain amount each day. I’d been hoarding all of mine for our date. (Beer is three points a bottle!) I was a little woozy.

But not too woozy to note that I’d become that most embarrassing of daters — the oversharer. Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Sarah Jessica Supports Fashion’s Night Out While Out And About With Her Son

[NYC, 9/10/09]
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Tyra’s First-Ever Period Show Was Bloody Fantastic!

I can think of lots of momentous events I wouldn’t want human pit bull/Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons around for — and inserting a tampon in my coochie for the very first time is one of them. But on “The Tyra Show”‘s first-ever program all about periods, Tyra Banks shared how, at the ripe-old age of 26, Miss Fabulosity coached (bullied?) her on how to insert a tampon. An applicator-less tampon. There’s some mental imagery for you!

But Tyra’s period show wasn’t all about famous women pushing Tampax up their lady flowers: Tyra invited three doctors on the show to explain why Aunt Flo comes to visit. It’s a ghastly state of affairs for sex ed if grown women are learning why they get their periods on “The Tyra Show.” Still, I learned lotsa stuff about my monthlies thanks to Ty-Ty … like, you can still get laid if you go to bed wearing an adult diaper on your heavy flow nights. Proof of THAT above!
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Star Couplings: Hugh Hefner Files For Divorce

  • Hugh Hefner filed for divorce from wife Kimberly Conrad. The couple hasn’t really been together in more than 10 years. [Dlisted] — Why did she stay with him while he diddled Playmate after Playmate? Oh right, the money.
  • John Mayer took to Twitter to dispel rumors he’s been hooking up with Kristin Cavallari. [Just Jared] — If you ever want to deny dating someone, say, “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”
  • Ashlee Simpson is on the cover of the October Redbook, and she told the magazine she doesn’t envy the freedom sister Jessica has since she’s single and childless. But, apparently, she said Jessica is envious of her being a mom. [People] — Don’t the rules of sisterhood say you shouldn’t tell a magazine your sis is jealous of you?

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A Shaded View On Fashion Film Festival Coming Soon

Diane Pernet, the mysterious force that runs A Shaded View on Fashion, is hosting A Shaded View on Fashion Film Festival 2009, the world’s first annual fashion, beauty, and style film festival. The event runs from September 25 to 27 at the Palais de Tokyo in Paris, France, if you happen to be in the neighborhood. (Hopefully, the festival will make its way around the globe.) Featured directors and stars include fashion luminaries Steven Klein, Dita Von Teese, Nick Knight, Chloe Sevigny, and Chris Cunningham. It looks jaw-droppingly amazing. Keep reading »

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