Help for men everywhere is finally here! U.K. man, Kari Dorn, invented a PMS alert wristband. After being married for 16 years and hearing his buddies complain about their domestic woes — because a PMSing woman is so, so scary! — Dorn had a brilliant idea for a bracelet that lets men know at what time of the month they should be a wee more sensitive toward their lady friends. His PMS alert wristband uses temperature sensitive technology. Since a woman’s body temperature increases during ovulation and stays that way until right before her period, the bracelet changes color during prime PMS time. So if your man sees a threat level red, he knows to lay low, remember to take out the trash, and go on a chocolate run. Hopefully these bracelets are also stylish … for our sake. [Daily Mail U.K.] Keep reading »
“I didn’t live my life in the right way for politics, you know. I f**ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth … [I] would start from the beginning by saying, ‘I did it all. I drank the bong water. Now let’s talk about issues.’ That’s gonna be my campaign slogan: ‘I drank the bong water.’”
—George Clooney tells Newsweek that, as a celebrity, he hopes to bring attention to parts of the world like the Sudan. But he says he has no intentions of ever running for office. I dunno, George. I think that slogan is pretty catchy. [Newsweek] Keep reading »
Oh, girls just wanna have gu-u-uns! Oh, girls just wanna have guns! So says Regis Giles, a 19-year-old conservative activist with a unique new idea to protect women and girls from prowling rapists: equip them with guns. The telegenic lass hails from an esteemed lineage: the blog Guanabee reports she is “the younger sister of the woman posing as a prostitute at ACORN and the daughter of Doug Giles, a Christian motorcyclist who called Sarah Palin-hating women ‘shemales’.” On her web site, Girls Just Want To Have Guns, she has posted a video of herself (which you can watch after the jump) speaking at CPAC, a recent conference for conservatives, in which she rails, “I’m sick and tired of seeing defenseless girls being abducted in broad daylight by some fruity freak aroused by raping and murdering them!” Keep reading »
The reason you’re not married yet is because I don’t really care why you’re not married and no one else does, either. Seriously, nobody cares. You shouldn’t care. Marriage isn’t a tiara. It’s not a ribbon to cut or one of those big novelty lottery checks. You don’t “deserve” a husband. You’re not Veruca Salt. You should be happy with whatever life gives you, because the only thing you truly “deserve” is a grave, although there just aren’t enough funeral pyres in these modern times. But I don’t want you to freak out. If you’re not married, or single, or unhappy, then life is working out as it should. No one has a right to happiness. As Americans, we only have a right to the pursuit of happiness. This explains why we love cars so much. The road trip is more important than the tourist trap. Enjoy the view. Roll down the window. Keep reading »
I am a sucker for British broads with big voices and a retro vibe. Of this genre, Adele is by far and away my favorite. You’d think that an album titled 21—as in, her age when she recorded it last year—would be hopelessly naive but instead it is totally gorgeous and dripping with mature emotion. The record kicks off with “Rolling in the Deep,” a power soul track about the end of a relationship that can basically be summed up with the words “your loss.” Oh, and her cover of The Cure’s “Lovesong” is just divine. Overall, listening to this album is more healing than burning all the pictures of your ex. Though you can still do that, too.