I am writing to express my condolences about your recent media onslaught. I know the world went apes**t when they discovered your dirty little secret…your toe thumbs. It must be disconcerting having your weirdo thumbs be the number one highest-ranking item on Google Trends over the weekend. Geez, peeps must have been really bored. If pictures of my alien fingers were all over the internet (my hands are really weird, too, but I digress), I might feel ashamed. Perhaps your plush lifestyle makes up for it? I still have a roommate and no cable. So thank you for reminding me that no one is perfect.
P.S. Is there such a thing as thumb surgery? You could probably afford it. Just a thought…it would give a whole new meaning to the term “hand job.” HA! Keep reading »
I love my dad. Dorky though it may be, he’s one of my favorite people and I can’t imagine my life would be as good with any other one. I do, however, have one complaint: really liking my dad has totally screwed me in the dating department.
Aside from the standard complaint that most of the morons I’ve gone out with just aren’t as likable as my dad, I’m also borderline incapable of dating much older men. I can’t help but make skeevy involuntary associations. Keep reading »
Same-sex marriage bans just got stupider: two New Yorkers just got their marriage license revoked after city officials say they were snookered into believing the bride was actually a groom.
The would-be bride, Hakim Nelson, 18, identifies as a woman and hopes to undergo gender reassignment surgery. When Nelson married 21-year-old Jason Stenson on May 26, she not only wore an orange dress, white leggings and a $10 wedding ring, but also carried a state ID card that said “female” on it. (The official who issued the state ID assumed Nelson was a female.) Keep reading »
Chocolate, Vanilla, Red Velvet, and beyond. Oh cupcakes, “swirled and sprinkled, dipped and glazed, or otherwise fancifully decorated, cupcakes are the treats that make everyone smile.” Yes, they sure are! And with a world-renowned cookbook author like Martha Stewart, we know we can’t go wrong. We would love to sink our teeth into the photo on the cover, but, sadly, it’s not edible. Which is why we must, must purchase this book, and make some little pieces of heaven that we can eat, er, devour! And unless you’re a sadist — or on a diet — you should too. Cupcakes, here we come! [$14.99, Amazon] Keep reading »
Over the weekend, Jennifer Aniston accepted a trophy for her contributions to cinema from Women in Film. But there was something more laughable than her getting applause for artistic achievements like “Marley & Me.” When Jen took the stage, in a strapless silver Prada dress, to accept the prestigious Crystal Award for “expanding the role of women in the entertainment industry,” Aniston said:
“I kind of noticed something a couple years ago that there seemed to be this strange parallel to the movies I was doing and my life off screen. It started with ‘The Good Girl,’ then that evolved into ‘Rumor Has It,’ followed by ‘Derailed,’ and then there was ‘The Break-Up’.…So if any of you have a project titled ‘Everlasting Love with an Adult, Stable Male …”
Um, Jen, no one is giving you an award for your love life. What kind of acceptance speech for your successful career was that exactly? But the audience was chuckling. Now, we here at The Frisky are all for self-deprecating humor, however, it begs the question: Was this Jen Aniston laughing at herself or is she the joke? [People] Keep reading »
Today, the Daily Mail U.K. asks, “Is Emma Watson the new Kate Moss?” Hold up a minute there! That’s a pretty heavy crown to even think about bestowing. After all, the person to take Kate Moss’s place has some big shoes to fill. It must be someone who has staying power, room for supreme f**k-ups, the ability to rebound, and be a trendsetter for life. Clearly, Watson is a fine contender, having already started in Kate’s Burberry footprints. Yet, we’d like to put some other ladies in the running for becoming fashion’s holy grail. (This could be a great celeb reality contest.) Keep reading »
The global financial crises has forced every industry to get a little creative. Rather than go with the stodgy “buy one get one free” approach of many struggling industries, the Czech health care system is wooing its nurses with unusual pizazz. Like most countries around the world, the Czech Republic’s health care system is teetering on the brink of collapse, in part due to the nursing shortage. The Czech Republic is in a particular bind: Nurses are emigrating to other countries for better pay and opportunity while fewer people are training to become nurses due to the negative stereotypes left over from communism. The idea of using incentives to encourage employees to renew their contracts is hardly newsworthy. The fact that some Czech medical establishments are using incentives like free breast implants, liposuction and tummy tucks does raise my eyebrows. (Not for long, however, should I decide to become a Czech nurse and opt for a face lift or Botox.) Keep reading »
It’ll cost you a whole lot to get Susan Boyle to sing a little ditty at your next party. The “Britain’s Got Talent” star is charging $203K for a 12-minute set—if you do the math, that comes out to about $16,000 per minute. This is the most preposterous thing I’ve heard in days, but corporate clients are actually booking her. Since the idea of someone actually spending $16K for 60 seconds of Susan Boyle makes me want to dry heave, I’ve compiled some items with $16,000 price tags that are actually worth the money and will last longer than a minute. (Plus, listening to your “Cats” soundtrack is totes free!) [News From All Angles] Keep reading »
In the July issue of InStyle, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were interviewed for two separate stories — him for the “Man of Style” and her for “Beauty Talk” — but the recently married couple are either totally on the same page or did their interviews with the other in the room, because they have similar wishes.
InStyle: Do you ever wish you could change a characteristic about yourself?
Ryan Reynolds: I know this sounds weird, but I wish I were an inch shorter. [He's 6-foot-2.]
InStyle: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Scarlett Johansson: I’d like to be taller. I’m 5-foot-4 on a good day, and a couple extra inches would be nice.
They totally want to be able to kiss each other more easily! Keep reading »
In high school I read John Irving’s excellent book, The Cider House Rules, in which the protagonist, a young man named Homer, is raised in an orphanage under the care of a kindly physician, Dr. Larch, who he is shadowing and learning medicine from. Dr. Larch eventually reveals to him that he’s been performed illegal abortions all along and he’d like to teach Homer how to do the procedure, too. Homer balked at the suggestion, imagining that he could have been aborted instead of growing up happily in the orphanage. The response Dr. Larch gave him has always stuck in my mind: “You may disapprove, but you may not be ignorant or look away.”
That quote popped in my mind when I read Kate Harding’s piece on Salon.com, “Is There A Next Generation Of Abortion Providers?”, a frightening piece about how the ranks of abortion providers are thinning and pro-choicers worry they won’t be replaced. Keep reading »