Mark Wahlberg’s Daughter Is Dating At Age 7

“She gave a boy in her class my cellphone number. He calls me and says, ‘Hey, Mr. Wahlberg, I’m taking your daughter to the movies.’ I’m like, what? Seven years old! I say at least seven more years. He’s seven too and I’m like, ‘Okay, let me talk to your father.’ So me and the father talk. We take them to the movies. They don’t say a word to each other.”

Mark Wahlberg tells Jay Leno about how his daughter, Ella Ray, is starting to get interested in boys. I want to note that it takes one ballsy second-grader to ask Marky Mark if he can take out his daughter. Also, Mark revealed that he cried at “Toy Story 3″ and “Tangled.” Awww. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

30 Things I Love About Being Single Right Now

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship with myself for two years and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Jessica, Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate… Keep reading »

Valentine’s Day Must Be Hell For The Polyamorous

It’s hard enough scrambling to find Valentine’s Day gifts (especially if you’re a cheap and lazy lover), booking reservations for a prix fixe dinner, and trying to make the night as special at St. Hallmark has deemed it to be. But imagine if you had to do that with multiple people. I will complain no more, the polyamorous have it much worse on Valentine’s Day. I actually felt bad for some of the polyamorous couples featured in an article entitled “How to Handle Valentine’s Day When You’re Polyamorous.” Keep reading »

Update: Did The Yogurt Come Back Positive For Semen?

Oh thank god. There’s been an update in the case of the yogurt that tastes like semen. A couple weeks ago, I told you about the 28-year-old Albuquerque woman who said the yogurt sample she was given at her local grocery store tasted like “bodily fluids.” In fact, in her statement to police she said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset. [The manager Catherine Flores] told me it was a Greek yogurt. People love it, it has lot of protein on it.” Ahem. Police arrested Anthony Garcia, 31, the supermarket worker who gave the woman the yogurt, because he had outstanding bench warrants, and sent the yogurt to the lab for testing. Well the results are in! And it seems that the woman’s discerning palette was correct! The yogurt did indeed contain semen, and though Garcia maintains his innocence, a judge issued a warrant for DNA and blood samples to make sure he doesn’t have any diseases. [The Smoking Gun] Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: How We Say “I Love You” (Without Actually Saying, “I Love You”)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re rerunning the very first Mind of Man which originally was published in February 2008. It’s an oldie, but SUCH a goodie.

OK ladies, check it out: We love you. We love watching your sleeping face glow on our 150-thread count pillowcases. We love that mischievous glint in your eyes that says both, “You know what I’m thinking” and “You have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking.” We love that momentary moment of punch-drunkenness when we catch a whiff of a new fragrance that makes you smell like flowers. (And we don’t even like flowers. Doesn’t anyone realize flowers are just the clown genitals of the vegetable kingdom?)

So there you have it — we love you. Can we move on now?

We didn’t think so. Keep reading »

Ashlee Simpson And Pete Wentz Divorcing

Maybe they just didn’t want to buy each other Valentine’s Day gifts? Or maybe Pete wasn’t so into Ashlee’s new blonde pixie cut? Or maybe Ashlee is just following in her big sister’s footsteps. Whatever the reason, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are headed to divorce court. Ashlee has filed papers in Los Angelese, citing “irreconciliable differences” and seeking joint custody of two-year-old Bronx. This will end Ashlee and Pete’s two-and-a-half year marriage. These two have been fighting off divorce rumors since 2009, but it’s still sad, as they seemed like a pretty happy duo. [TMZ] Keep reading »

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