Tom Delay Proves He’s A Wild Thing On “Dancing With The Stars”


Speaking of politician butts, did you ever want to see Tom Delay shake his? Well, your dreams have finally come true. On last night’s premiere of “Dancing with the Stars,” the men of the competition showed their moves. Aaron Carter was clearly the best, but we think that’s cheating since he’s under the age of 50 and has a boy band background. UFC fighter Chuck Lidell took the award for Awkwardest Expression Whilst Salsaing. But it was Delay who stole our hearts with his performance of “Wild Thing,” thanks to his lip syncing, knee sliding, and just generally making everything groovy. Check it out, above. Tonight, the women perform. Go Melissa Joan Hart!
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Hot New Trend: Shotgun Marriages!

So, Khloe Kardashian is getting married this Sunday to brand-new boyfriend/fiancé Lamar Odom. Raise your hand if you think she’s knocked up. Everyone? That’s what I thought. If Khloe is with child, she is following in the grand footsteps of big sis Kourtney, who found out she was pregnant earlier this summer and is now engaged to the baby’s father. Is it just me, or is this totes retro? Accidental pregnancy? A super speedy marriage is the answer to all your problems! Khloe and Kourtney would hardly be alone. Ashlee Simpson married Pete Wentz then disclosed that she was pregnant with his child. So did Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, as well as Christina Milian and The Dream. I gotta say, and maybe this is because I’m not much of a traditionalist, but if I found out I was pregs and was going to keep the baby, I wouldn’t necessarily rush to the altar, even if I was in love with the father. What about you? Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: You Booze, You Lose?

Let’s start off with the fact that I love my boyfriend “Scott.” Scott and I have made it through a break up, months of monogamous dating, and we are an official couple again. However, I’m concerned that he may drink too much. Scott rarely has a night where he doesn’t smoke marijuana or drink. He occasionally does hard drugs (he only seems to do them when he goes on vacation with his exgirlfriend, but that is neither here nor there since that hasn’t been resolved). Whenever Scott drinks he either gets annoyed or overly affectionate- ie. he either is on edge or is trying to convince me to marry him. Wendy, what should I do to address this issue? I want to support him through thick and thin but at the same time I think part of support is urging him to stop destructive behavior. —Girlfriend of an Alcoholic Anonymous

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The Daily Ovulation: PS22 Kids Sing The Cure’s “Pictures Of You”

If you don’t cry, you’re dead inside. I just say. For more info on this incredible school children’s chorus, click here.
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Suri Cruise Plays Dress-Up, People Freak The Hell Out

Oh, damn, you guys, this is gonna be bigger than that time Michelle Obama wore shorts at the Grand Canyon! Apparently, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have been dressing adorable little Suri in, gasp, peep-toe kitten heels! Pictures of the tiny tot are all over the internet, including The Huffington Post, where outraged readers are leaving comments about what they see as a horrendous social — and fashion — faux pas. After the jump, some of the more colorful reader comments. Keep reading »

Where Mean Little Jewish Nice Girls Go On Yom Kippur

“Are you going to go to Rosh Hashanah services?” my sister asked me on the phone last week, and my gut instantly churned. Not because I’m now separated by the Atlantic Ocean from my family on the Jewish New Year, but because: a.) I had forgotten about it and b.) I didn’t feel like dealing with it.

“It’s tomorrow? And what year is it in Jewish anyhow? 18 million or something? I didn’t really make any arrangements. Maybe I’ll just fake going to services so mom and dad don’t freak.”

“I know you’re not religious, but aren’t you at least afraid of the wrath of mom?”

“I’ll repent for it a week later on Yom Kippur.”

Every year, when Yom Kippur, the day of repentance rolls around, I reluctantly put on a conservative pencil skirt, pack into the family Subaru, and fast for a day. At least I’ll lose a little weight, I think. Because why would I need to repent? I’m a good person. I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t seriously offended any of my friends or family. I eat my vegetables. I even vacuumed under the bed. Once. Keep reading »

“At Merlottes” Imagines A “True Blood” Spin-Off Sitcom

What would happen if HBO did a spin-off of “True Blood,” only it was a half-hour sitcom called “At Merlottes”? One thing is for certain: It would be funnier than “Two And A Half Men.” [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Nice Camel Toe, Pink

I like Pink, but this outfit is freaky, and I don’t mean that in a good way. The whole things just screams: “Look at my camel toe, people! My ace bandaged, glittery camel toe!” That is not a message that I want my clothes to telegraph. But maybe that’s why I’m not on the stage like a rock star, no? It’s kind of Cirque de Soleil meets “The Fifth Element.” It is also totally hideous. If you would like to check out a more up-close-and-personal shot of this business, dare to look after the jump. [Drunken Stepfather] Keep reading »

Matthew McConaughey Can’t Face You (Seriously, He Can’t!)

When I started seeing the ads for the DVD release of this year’s Matthew McConaughey/Jennifer Garner movie, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” I noticed something awfully curious happening in the movie poster, which is also evidence of a creeping trend in McConaughey’s career of movie posters: He simply can’t seem to face his co-stars! What might a pose like this say about a guy in real life if you’re looking for a relationship?

Well, I’ll give you my two cents, but first, more examples. Lest you think this is the first time Matthew has struck the pose, think again. His backhand has been at it for quite some time … Keep reading »

Um, No: Bowtie Jewelry For Dudes

“Honnneeeeyyy! I’m hooo-ooome!”

“Oh, Poindexter, I’ve missed you all day. Here’s your Scotch, and just let me loosen your tie for — what? What’s this? You’re wearing a bowtie now? And I don’t even have to undo it for you?” Keep reading »

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