If you are over the age of 18, no matter what your actual numerical age is, something will happen to make you feel old. For me, it’s the fact that when interns fill out their paperwork, I see that they were born in 1992. That’s crazy, see, because I was 12 in 1992 and already had a full collection of colored jeans from the Limited Too. Feeling old isn’t a bad thing—just strange. So Buzzfeed’s collection of “40 Things That Will Make You Feel Old” is kind of blowing my mind. Above, the first entry. Some others to look forward to: the fact that all three of the Hanson brothers are married with kids, that the Macarena is 16-years-old, and that the first state quarter came out 11 years ago. Eek! [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
The thing that cracks me up the most about these ads for Sugar Sugar, an online dating site that matches younger women with older, weathy men, is that these are so obviously stock images of young couples. The guys’ hair has just been badly photoshopped to look grey. These dudes, to quote one blogger, look “very (very) premature gray-blue … with the skin of a 26-year-old” — likely not representative of the actual sugar daddies the site has to offer. [via Lonely Sandwich] Keep reading »
Oh yeah, I’m about to have sex. What time is it? Big hand is on “LAID,” little hand is on “ME.” This is going to be awesome. Breath: minty! Pits: spicy! Boxers: fresh! Give her the Han Solo smirk. Squint, seductively. Remember that the eyes are like the mouths of the pants. Tell her what she needs to know just by looking at her: I’m about to let the dawgs of freaky push it, pu-push it real good. Buckle up, lucky lady, you’ve got a first class ticket on the rocket of love. Keep reading »
Today in tastelessness: the Navy SEAL raid on Osama bin Laden‘s Pakistan compound will be sexily immortalized forever in “This Ain’t Bin Laden XXX,” a new parody porn debuting this summer by Hustler. An Osama bin Laden porn is something the al-Qaeda top dog would have appreciated, said Hustler’s Video Director of Operations Rob Smith. “We’re pretty sure from what we’ve heard that bin Laden was a big fan of Hustler,” Smith said. (Now that’s a celebrity endorsement!) “He was looking at porn, now porn is looking at him. See, it all comes full circle.” You almost had me at the promise of Navy SEALs, but really, I can’t get into a porn about someone who murdered over 3,000 people in my country. Also, that beard. I would like to read the casting notice for the Osama bin Laden parody porn, though. [The Daily What] Keep reading »
I love Oprah. I’ve been watching her since I was a pimply teenager looking for diet tips and ways to attract a boyfriend. My dream was to become a journalist and interview newsmakers and celebrities just like she does. I wound up a TV news producer and writer and — although I never got my own show or theme song — I thank Oprah for motivating me.
O and I have been through a lot together. Big hair, shoulder pads, and several body types. We’ve also taken a spiritual journey as we grew up and began to recognize the world outside ourselves. The cynical will snicker, but I believe she encouraged me to be a better person. Her shows prompted me to read great books, be more generous with time and money, and better understand my fellow man.
When I heard it was her last season, I wanted to make the pilgrimage to my hometown of Chicago to see her in person. I lobbied everyone I knew who might have a connection until I scored tickets. I booked my flight and shared my excitement with friends. Keep reading »