I’m single, which is working out great because I hate grooming. My ex is awesome, but between you and me and the internet, she could be a total bitch about “soap and water.” Whatever! Now I’m free to wallow in my own filth and believe me, I stink hard. Sure, I look like a lumberjack raised by monkeys, but that’s not why I go to the movies alone. I go to the movies alone because I might as well get used to it, seeing as that’s how I’m going to die. Alone. When I was younger, bourbon was my primary emotional coping mechanism. But since then, I’ve become an adult. Instead of drowning my feelings in delicious brown magic water, I express them to my bestest friends on Twitter. Why, just last night, I twooted the funniest twitter tweet, which was “WHY? #Why?” But I know why this happened and I think it’s related to that one time she said “I love you” and I responded “Baby Stewie is a hilarious character! A baby that speaks like people!” Keep reading »
The other day, I dug up a small travel-size bottle of Fresh’s Sugar Lemon body lotion that had been languishing in my bathroom cabinet. I used a tiny amount on my dry, chapped hands and as soon as I smelled it, I immediately wanted to be swathed in an entire bucket of the stuff. The Sugar Lemon scent is sweet, but not cloying, and feels overwhelmingly light and, well, fresh. I’ll take two dozen bottles, please.
A little girl may have only stopped nursing a few years ago herself, but that’s no reason she can’t play mama to a Breast Milk Baby, right? The $89 doll by Berjuan Toys shows girls — and yes, this doll is by default for girls — how to nurture their babies by breastfeeding from their, um, breasts. To nurse their dolls, little girls put on a “magic top” with a flower stickers over the breasts, pull their baby’s mouth up to the flowers, and watch as the doll starts to “suckle and swallow.” The press release trills:
“The Breast Milk Baby lets young girls express their love and affection in the most natural way possible, just like mommy. The Breast Milk Baby represents a revolution in design by teaching children the nurturing skills they’ll need to raise their own healthy babies.”
Keep reading »
Alleged UFO sightings happen all the time. Only, they get more attention when they happen to celebrities. This week, Russell Crowe posted video stills of an unidentified object hovering over Sydney’s Royal Botanic Gardens on YouTube.
“A friend and i set camera to capture fruit bats rising from Botanic Gardens, this was a big surprise… Canon 5D, No Flash, can’t be a lens flare because it moves, camera is fixed,” Crowe tweeted.
I’m more miffed by why Russell Crowe and friend were trying to capture fruit bats rising. Gross. Is that a thing?
Even though he’s famous, Crowe’s UFO sighting is being met with appropriate skepticism. Some YouTube commenters have questioned the editing on the video. Hmmm. Good point. Being that aliens are my number one fear, I don’t wish to ponder it any longer. Shifting into denial mode.
Russell Crowe isn’t the only celeb who believes in the existence of extraterrestrials. Click through for other stars who say they’ve had close encounters of the third kind. [ONTD]
Looks like there’s a new goddess in town. The Sun has identified a third woman who is part of Charlie Sheen‘s harem, 26-year-old Megan Levant. The two apparently met at the Playboy mansion a while ago, and she’s told friends that they have been dating for a few months. Supposedly, she was also aboard a yacht last month with Charlie, Natalie Kenly, and Rachel Oberlin and more recently has been seen at Charlie’s Sober Valley Lodge. Somehow, she managed to stay out of the public eye until now.
So who is Megan? The details after the jump. Keep reading »
Liv Tyler cuddles up with her new girlfriend at the premiere of the IFC movie, “Super,” on Monday night. Oh, no, wait a second—that’s not a woman. That’s Liv’s dad, “American Idol” judge Steven Tyler. Wow, those two make me feel vaguely uncomfortable with all their Angelina-and-her-brother moments. [PopWrap] Keep reading »