Mind Of Man: How We Say “I Love You” (Without Actually Saying, “I Love You”)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re rerunning the very first Mind of Man which originally was published in February 2008. It’s an oldie, but SUCH a goodie.

OK ladies, check it out: We love you. We love watching your sleeping face glow on our 150-thread count pillowcases. We love that mischievous glint in your eyes that says both, “You know what I’m thinking” and “You have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking.” We love that momentary moment of punch-drunkenness when we catch a whiff of a new fragrance that makes you smell like flowers. (And we don’t even like flowers. Doesn’t anyone realize flowers are just the clown genitals of the vegetable kingdom?)

So there you have it — we love you. Can we move on now?

We didn’t think so. Keep reading »

Ashlee Simpson And Pete Wentz Divorcing

Maybe they just didn’t want to buy each other Valentine’s Day gifts? Or maybe Pete wasn’t so into Ashlee’s new blonde pixie cut? Or maybe Ashlee is just following in her big sister’s footsteps. Whatever the reason, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are headed to divorce court. Ashlee has filed papers in Los Angelese, citing “irreconciliable differences” and seeking joint custody of two-year-old Bronx. This will end Ashlee and Pete’s two-and-a-half year marriage. These two have been fighting off divorce rumors since 2009, but it’s still sad, as they seemed like a pretty happy duo. [TMZ] Keep reading »

No Man Should Wear His Ex-Girlfriend’s Jeans

Levi’s has delivered a swift blow to masculinity with the Ex-Girlfriend Jean. “Remember the girlfriend with the great style? Here’s a tribute to her — a fit that’s super-snug allover, an update of the five-pocket classic that’s as skinny as it gets,” the style description reads. All it costs is $69.50 to emasculate his bottom half. Levi’s, what are you trying to do to our men? A dude in ladies’ jeans is NOT sexy, especially a pair that belonged to his ex. Why? Because she’s got him by the balls? Enough already! I know that a new study says that men are becoming more like women in relationships, but no need for men to become more like us in dress. Men in men’s jeans! Men in men’s jeans! Say it with me. [Levis] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Chain Restaurant V-Day Tradition

Valentine’s Day is for lovers, or at least people who love love. But what happens when you’re neither in a relationship, or a state of mind to handle all the hearts, stars or flowers? I say, go ridiculous. For the past several years, my best girlfriends and I have gone out of our way to make the best of the worst holiday of the year, by making it as stupefyingly non-romantic as possible. We go to chain restaurants. Keep reading »

Made With Love

We know you’re cookin’ up something this Valentine’s Day and with these heart-shaped mixing bowls, you can make sure you do something in the kitchen, too! The pink, white and red set from Target might evoke the colors of February 14, but they’ll look funky-cute as you bake all year round. Plus, they fit inside one another like nesting dolls, so they won’t take up tons of space. Now, who wants a cupcake?

[$14.99 Target]

Heidi Montag To Be A “Real Housewife”?

You should probably sit down for the news that I’m about to tell you, because it might provoke anger, rage, and the desire to throw things at your television. Apparently Heidi Montag—yes, Heidi Montag of backscooping and “The Hills” fame—is being considered for the next season of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” (As we told you earlier in the week, Brandi Glanville and Sylvester Stallone’s wife have also come up as contenders for spots on the show.) Sources say Heidi has met with “Housewives” producers and is actively pursuing the opportunity with every cup size she’s got. “We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat,” her hubby Spencer Pratt said in response to the rumor. “We would be psyched if this happened for us.” Bravo, please do not give these attention whores another shot at the spotlight. Let their 15 minute of fame finally tick down. [PopEater] Keep reading »

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