Suri Cruise Plays Dress-Up, People Freak The Hell Out

Oh, damn, you guys, this is gonna be bigger than that time Michelle Obama wore shorts at the Grand Canyon! Apparently, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have been dressing adorable little Suri in, gasp, peep-toe kitten heels! Pictures of the tiny tot are all over the internet, including The Huffington Post, where outraged readers are leaving comments about what they see as a horrendous social — and fashion — faux pas. After the jump, some of the more colorful reader comments. Keep reading »

Where Mean Little Jewish Nice Girls Go On Yom Kippur

“Are you going to go to Rosh Hashanah services?” my sister asked me on the phone last week, and my gut instantly churned. Not because I’m now separated by the Atlantic Ocean from my family on the Jewish New Year, but because: a.) I had forgotten about it and b.) I didn’t feel like dealing with it.

“It’s tomorrow? And what year is it in Jewish anyhow? 18 million or something? I didn’t really make any arrangements. Maybe I’ll just fake going to services so mom and dad don’t freak.”

“I know you’re not religious, but aren’t you at least afraid of the wrath of mom?”

“I’ll repent for it a week later on Yom Kippur.”

Every year, when Yom Kippur, the day of repentance rolls around, I reluctantly put on a conservative pencil skirt, pack into the family Subaru, and fast for a day. At least I’ll lose a little weight, I think. Because why would I need to repent? I’m a good person. I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t seriously offended any of my friends or family. I eat my vegetables. I even vacuumed under the bed. Once. Keep reading »

“At Merlottes” Imagines A “True Blood” Spin-Off Sitcom

What would happen if HBO did a spin-off of “True Blood,” only it was a half-hour sitcom called “At Merlottes”? One thing is for certain: It would be funnier than “Two And A Half Men.” [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Nice Camel Toe, Pink

I like Pink, but this outfit is freaky, and I don’t mean that in a good way. The whole things just screams: “Look at my camel toe, people! My ace bandaged, glittery camel toe!” That is not a message that I want my clothes to telegraph. But maybe that’s why I’m not on the stage like a rock star, no? It’s kind of Cirque de Soleil meets “The Fifth Element.” It is also totally hideous. If you would like to check out a more up-close-and-personal shot of this business, dare to look after the jump. [Drunken Stepfather] Keep reading »

Matthew McConaughey Can’t Face You (Seriously, He Can’t!)

When I started seeing the ads for the DVD release of this year’s Matthew McConaughey/Jennifer Garner movie, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” I noticed something awfully curious happening in the movie poster, which is also evidence of a creeping trend in McConaughey’s career of movie posters: He simply can’t seem to face his co-stars! What might a pose like this say about a guy in real life if you’re looking for a relationship?

Well, I’ll give you my two cents, but first, more examples. Lest you think this is the first time Matthew has struck the pose, think again. His backhand has been at it for quite some time … Keep reading »

Um, No: Bowtie Jewelry For Dudes

“Honnneeeeyyy! I’m hooo-ooome!”

“Oh, Poindexter, I’ve missed you all day. Here’s your Scotch, and just let me loosen your tie for — what? What’s this? You’re wearing a bowtie now? And I don’t even have to undo it for you?” Keep reading »

Condom Ads Suggest You Rub One Out

This is another one of those ads that I just can’t figure out. It’s for condoms, apparently. Or a condom shop? I’m confused. And there’s something in there about rubbing one out, from what I gather. I Believe in Advertising‘s explanation doesn’t exactly help either: “Metaphor of the condoms like rubber gum and his utilization ‘to erase’ evidences.” HUH? WHAT? Totally confused. Maybe, if you use condoms, there will be no traces of … something … bad? I don’t know! Practice safe sex. That’s all I can figure out. Maybe one of you can explain it to me? [I Believe in Advertising] Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Khloe Kardashian And Lamar Odom Will Tie The Knot On Sunday

  • Khloe Kardashian will marry Lamar Odom this Sunday. [Dlisted] — Wow, folks in Hollywood definitely work fast.
  • Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer-Maguire looked like the perfect family with their daughter Ruby Sweetheart and new baby Otis Tobias in West Hollywood on Sunday. [OK! Magazine]
  • Jason Segel and Chloe Sevigny were awfully cozy at HBO’s Emmys party on Sunday. [E! Online] — If this is true, I can’t wait for her to put her fashionable stamp on him.

Keep reading »

Style 911: How Can I Break A Bad Fashion Habit?

“I have a problem. I’m not only compelled to purchase weird-looking pants online, I also can’t stop myself from wearing said pants despite the fact that they are usually highly unflattering. There are my gray silk harem pants, my black Comme des Garcons for H&M drop-crotch trousers, pants with wide, exaggerated pockets and, I’m afraid to tell you, a pair of jeans that have a bustle affixed to the back. I love fashion and find joy in experimental and avant-garde clothing, but I’m afraid my passion has spilled over into fashion victim territory. Please help!”—Erin

Today on Style 911, a bit of self-help. Let’s talk poor sartorial choices, after the jump! Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Don’t Leave, Anderson!

After a hot night of debauched heterosexual sex, my beloved, Anderson Cooper, waves goodbye to me. I’ll be announcing my pregnancy shortly. We’re going to name him Anderson Cooper, Jr. Also? How ’bout dem guns! [9/21/09, NYC] Keep reading »

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