Like conducting a job search, online dating is an exercise in patience, compatibility, and, sometimes, rejection. It’s not romantic, but to a certain degree, the search for a suitable partner is not unlike the job hunt. You use the internet to varying degrees of success, clicking and writing emails and then clicking some more, and sometimes, if the cards are in your favor and the stars align, you end up meeting a stranger in a public setting and make awkward small talk while wearing shoes that pinch your toes and more makeup than you would for a Tuesday. When it’s over, you’re euphoric or despondent, alternating between mapping out a future for yourself or envisioning waiting for an email that never arrives. You follow up, you wait, things usually don’t pan out. When you do find success, you realize that it came the way most things in life happen — organically, through people you know. Matched with destiny, your future trips happily towards the light.
This is the best case scenario, a situation that everybody assures you will happen, regardless of how dire it all looks. Keep reading »
You know you were wondering about it! Jimmy Kimmel sent a camera crew to Comic-Con to ask cosplayers — that is, people who wear costumes often based on characters from their favorite movies, comics and video games — whether they’ve ever had sex in their costumes. Can you guess who has and who hasn’t? [The Wrap]
How about that “Bachelorette” finale, huh? Crazy! Unexpected! An incredibly annoying for more reasons than I can count. After the jump, I’ll break down — okay, rant about in a somewhat meandering fashion — Andi Dorfman’s “controversial” final rose decision, the OMG revelation that sex actually happens in the Fantasy Suite, and why cries that Andi was “slut-shamed” on “After the Final Rose” are totally ridiculous. Keep reading »
Remember last November when San Francisco transformed into Gotham City so a little boy with leukemia could be Batkid for a day? And how nobody could stop crying a million tears about how touching it was? Batkid made such an impact that he’ll be getting his own documentary. “Batkid Begins” takes a look at what went into making five-year-old Miles Scott’s dream come true and why it struck a chord with so many people. The film will be released in select theaters on November 15 and quite possibly restore your faith in humanity. [US Weekly]
So, I know I’m a killjoy. I know that people like to say cute things to each other when they’re in love because those things sound good whether or not they make any sense. But I’ve heard a few too rational people saying gross, unthinking things about their SO’s lately, and it makes me fear for their sense.
My boyfriend is a big dope, and I instituted a rule a long time ago that if he was going to say anything brainlessly dramatic or sentimental to me, he had to say it in a dramatic whisper so I could laugh at it. I just don’t like saying or being told things that are not literally true for the sake of it sounding loving, when expressing love truthfully is so much harder but so much better. Here’s a list of some whisper-worthy, saccharine, and not-very accurate gushiness that just needs to stop happening in the way we talk about our partners. Keep reading »
A few months ago, Amelia and I were talking about rape threats against women who write online. It seems like it happens to feminist writers Zerlina Maxwell, Amanda Hess and Jessica Valenti every day. Amelia asked if any readers have threatened to rape or otherwise harm me. The honest truth is that it only happened once — on Twitter a few years ago. The man had zero followers and had only tweeted a handful of times, all of which were incendiary remarks or threats against other liberals. I didn’t suspect he posed a serious threat to my safety, so I just blocked him. Do I even have to say I’m grateful that this was the one and only time some stranger threatened me?
That one incident isn’t the complete picture, though. A better question to ask in order to illustrate the at-times unsavory experience of being a feminist writer online would be about the kinds of inquiries I get on social media or in my inbox. Nearly every single day, a man emails asking me personal information about my sexuality, for an invitation to a sex party, or straight-up propositions me for sex. Keep reading »
Last weekend, I got a curious email from OKCupid. I have a profile on the site, but rarely log in and haven’t actually messaged with or gone on a date with anyone in months and months. I still get regular emails about having new matches, but this email subject line stood out immediately: “Match % update for [REDACTED USERNAME].” Hmm. The email (above) alerted me that due to “a diagnostic test,” my match percentage with a specific user had been erroneously reported and the two of us were actually 92 percent compatible, as opposed to the previously determined 32 percent. Keep reading »
I’m a late adopter so I didn’t download the Kim Kardashian game app, “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood,” until this weekend, a move I quickly began to sort of regret, as it is quite possibly the most addictive yet utterly pointless and unchallenging game ever created. I don’t even want to tell you how late I was up playing it on Sunday night. Okay, fine, I’ll tell you. THREE IN THE MORNING. Basically, the point of the game is to go from E-list to A-list celebrity by performing a variety of “tasks,” earning and spending money, growing fans and followers and building buzz through social media and networking. You do all that by tapping shit that appears on your iPhone screen. I wish I could say it was more complicated. I wish I could say that all that tapping is so boring that you’re inclined to just delete the game after 15 minutes. But that would not be true, because again, I was up until 3 a.m. playing it. In fact, I’m thinking about it right now, wondering if I should expect a call from Kim soon inviting me to her house in Beverly Hills. Luckily, only getting a few hours of shut-eye wasn’t for naught. See, “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” exposes some bitter, depressing truths about real life. For example… Keep reading »