Girl Talk: I Broke Up With My Parents

My parents are still married. They just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary. But when I saw them again it was separately, first one then the other. It had to be this way. Seeing both of them for the first time in over two years would have just been too much.

See, I broke up with my parents two-and-a-half years before this visit. I called them on Halloween, after avoiding voicemails for weeks. My teeth were chattering. “I need a break from this relationship,” I said and my mom burst into tears. My dad, quiet, mirrored back what I said … then tried to turn the conversation to normal things. Keep reading »

Wrap It Up

I am not a frequent watch wearer, but for the last five years or so, I have been lusting after Hermes’ Cape Cod watch with the double-wrap band. I keep waiting for the perfect special occasion to splurge on such an expensive timepiece, but it just hasn’t arrived yet. In the meantime, what’s to stop me from embracing the double-wrap trend at a far cheaper price point? Nothing! So imagine my enthusiasm upon discovering that Swatch — yes, Swatch — has a line of double-wrap watches just for the ladies? Priced at a mere $50, I think I’ll get one in the blue-green “Arctic Sea” color and one in “Honey Melon.”

[$50.00 Swatch]

Katy Perry Covers “Born This Way”


Covering songs is dangerous. You have to pick something obscure enough that a zillion people haven’t already done it, but recognizable enough that the audience will want to sing along. You have to give the song your own spin, while keeping true enough to the original that the song maintains its basic shape. So I think it’s a little strange that Katy Perry decided to cover “Born This Way,” Lady Gaga‘s new single that’s been accused of being a Madonna “Express Yourself” rip-off. Why? Well, because it’s so darn new. Also, I think the song is kind of a snoozer, so it you aren’t gonna pop out of an egg/womb-thingy for it, why bother? [People] Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Why Men Prefer “Innocent” Girls To “Whorey Slutosauruses”

This week’s column was inspired by a recent article on MarieClaire.com entitled “Why Men Prefer Innocent Girls To Bad Girls.”

The other day, some guys and I were chillaxing in my pal Josh’s sweet hot tub doing what guys do which is hang out and be real and we were discussing “innocent” girls versus “wang-hungry she-beasts.” Across the board, the guys agreed they prefer an “innocent” woman, like a nun or a coma patient or a 16-year-old girl, over a “bitch.” And then Josh was all “dude you got a boner” and everybody high-fived and a couple hours later we all put our clothes back on. Keep reading »

Michaele Salahi Booted From “Celebrty Rehab” For Having No Addiciton

The lord giveth and taketh away. (Yeah, I pre-apologize for that intro line—it’s in poor taste.) Last week, we learned that Tareq and Michaele Salahi—the White House party crashers who ended up on “The Real Housewives of DC“—would be checking in to “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” for its new season along with Bai Ling, Michael Lohan, and (surprise!) Amy Fisher. But alas, Michaele has been sent home. Why? She apparently isn’t addicted to anything. Keep reading »

Do Not Want: Gold Chain Garter

Like many women, I’m constantly looking for ways to highlight my leg fat and emphasize the parts of my body I feel most uncomfortable with. I’m also always trying to innovate in the field of weird ways and places to wear jewelry. So, with that in mind, I absolutely recommend we all run out and purchase this newfangled gold chain garter contraption. Want more interest on your legs? Wear pants. Also, wouldn’t this tickle? [Planet Blue] Keep reading »

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