Our 10 Favorite Onscreen Lady Detectives

detective miss marple jpg
Jennifer Garner doesn’t look like the British old maid Agatha Christie described in her Miss Marple series. But that isn’t stopping her from starring in and producing a movie about the famous elderly detective. Word on the street is that the movie will make Miss Marple younger and sexier, not to mention a lot more kick-butt. After all, Jennifer is a pro at stunts after “Alias.” [People]

Honestly, I would have preferred that Disney find an appropriately aged actress for the role—might I suggest Helen Mirren?—but I will still go see this one because (a) I love Jennifer and (b) I am a serious sucker for female detective stories. After the jump, some of my favorite onscreen lady detectives. Here’s hoping Jennifer can live up to them.

Once Again Ladies, Drunk Dialing Is Strictly Forbidden


Let this be a lesson. Do NOT drunk dial. You already knew this, but let’s review the solid reasons why this rule exists. 1) Because this is how lame you sound when you’re wasted. 2) The dude you drunk dial may set it to typography and put it on the interwebs. 3) Nobody really talks on the phone anymore, do they? 4) Your boss at Ebay (E-B-A-Y) may fire you. [Next Round] Keep reading »

Can You Guess The Former Pinup?

She used to be a sex symbol, but you can’t tell from this 1972 mug shot. Can you guess the former pinup? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Stacy London Stole My Sweater And Other Tales From “What Not To Wear”

Clinton Kelly Q&A
Clinton Kelly book
Why did Clinton Kelly from What Not To Wear call Jessica a "bitch"? Read More »

After Tuesday night’s “What Not to Wear” episode, featuring yours truly and an incredible cast of friends of family, I’ve gotten a few questions thrown my way. People have wondered what became of the infamous tiger sweater, lovingly named Raoul. Well, first, Stacy had her way with him. Yes, I did give it up. And no, I don’t miss it one bit. And now onto some other business… Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Katie Holmes, Penis Is Not A Dirty Word!

Who Has The Bigger Penis?
shirtless man photo
Whip 'em out, boys. We'll be the judge of that! Read More »
7 Famous Penises In History
David sculpture photo
This dongs will go down in the history books. Or should, anyway. Read More »

When I was five years old, I used to play with a little girl named Megan who lived across the street from my grandmother. One day, we were at Megan’s house playing with Barbie and Ken and I had a confusing realization. Grabbing the Ken doll, I asked Megan’s mom, “Why doesn’t Ken have a penis?” pointing out his vaguely bulging crotch. Megan’s mom immediately sent me home and told me to never come back. Apparently, “penis” was a dirty word in Megan’s house. (Ironically, there were other dirty things in Megan’s house, as she gave me lice.)

Katie Holmes kind of reminds me of Megan’s mom. Remember that photo of Suri Cruise holding a bag of penis gummies? (It’s, duh, above.) Well, Katie addressed the “controversy” on “Ellen” yesterday, although she couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word. Penis, I mean. Read on! Keep reading »

I Hope These Trojans Used A Trojan

So this is what those crazy coeds are up to these days? Things have changed since I was in college and we had the decency to wait until the sun went down. Two USC Trojans had no problem doing it doggie style in full view of the quad in broad daylight. Unfortunately, the male fornicator, a Kappa Sigma frat boy, was excused from the brotherhood over his public display of manhood. The thrill of exhibitionism aside, I hope they had the forethought to put on a Trojan. [Dlisted] Keep reading »

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