Karma’s a bitch, dude. This morning, I was frolicking through Starbucks, smiling to myself about how awesome my life has gotten. On Friday, I’m moving out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment. Today I woke up next to my new Gentleman Caller the night after we decided to date each other exclusively. The sun is shining. The birds were trilling. Tra la la la la la la!
And then I ran into the woman whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her with me two years ago. A woman who didn’t respond to my multiple apologetic emails because, let’s be honest, she probably hates my putrid guts. Keep reading »
“It was actually kind of a relief. It was like getting rid of the Barbie doll and throwing it out and starting again. We were shooting in Detroit, and there’s a lot of great bars in Detroit. So I ate and I drank for about six weeks.”
—Kim Cattrall on gaining 20 pounds and going totally unglamorous for her role in “Meet Monica Velour,” about an aging porn star living in a trailer park. Ahhh, I am now trying to picture Samantha Jones ordering potato skins at a Rock City dive. Priceless. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Personal pet peeve: when a stranger on the street tells me to cheer up and “smile!” because I’m not walking around town with a s**t-eating grin on my face. Usually I actually do scowl and don’t respond, or if I’m in a truly bad mood, I’ll retort that only looney bin escapees walk around smiling to themselves and at leering strangers. But going forward, I am going to calmly explain that I suffer from CBF and then they will feel bad for having insulted someone with a condition that they cannot help. Ha! [Kris Atomic] Keep reading »
Advice is a past mistake regifted. So I’m enjoying Christmas in March. Everyone I know has offered me advice about getting over a breakup and each piece of advice is a piece of personal pain with a ribbon tied around it. I appreciate it, of course. I listen dutifully and say “I hadn’t thought of that,” which is a well-meaning bit of boilerplate that I am practiced at saying. My dad used to always joke that once a man became a father, he surrendered any right to expect holiday and birthday presents that he actually wanted. Fathers get socks and ties. So every time he got socks or ties, which was often, he’d chuckle and say, “This is exactly what I wanted.” He wasn’t disappointed, because the real gift of receiving a gift is in the wide-eyes of the giver. I am deeply thankful for all of the advice. Keep reading »
Blind dates are awkward for everyone. There’s enough to worry about without discovering that your date just so happens to be your long, lost sibling. Um … yeah. Try recovering from that awks moment. And here I was thinking I had had the most awkward blind date of all time. He told me he was under investigation by the FBI during our first drink. Keep reading »
Oscar-nominated actor, performance artist, writer, aspiring film director, Yale Ph.D student, and now … college professor. James Franco does it all! New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts (my alma mater and the school where Franco is working on his MFA in film production) has hired him to teach a graduate level course on adapting poetry into short films. I’m unsure what qualifies him to teach this course. Oh, wait. Now that I think about it, he did play Allen Ginsburg in “Howl” so he must be an expert on poetry! Keep reading »