“The Human Centipede” Looks Horrifying

So remember how we told you about Lars von Trier’s “Antichrist,” the movie that made waves on the festival circuit for being totally nasty? Well, that film’s testicle-smashing and clitoris-slicing might seem like a cakewalk in comparison to “The Human Centipede.” Here is the “plot” synopsis for this horror movie:

“Two American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in a terrifying make shift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. A German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three “patients” are not about to be separated, but joined together in an horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy “the human centipede.”

Allow me to use layman’s terms: ass-to-mouth. If you’re crazytown enough to actually want to watch one of the scenes, you can do so at BuzzFeed. I, on the other hand, am going to go wash my eyes out with peroxide. [Shock Till You Drop] Keep reading »

6 Cases Of Hollywood Baby Daddy Drama

Jude Law isn’t buying silver rattles for Samantha Burke’s baby just yet. The unknown model/actress says that the babe is his, but rumor has it Jude doesn’t want to meet the child until he’s seen the results of a paternity test and knows it’s his. Also, maybe he wants to feel like he’s on an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show”? According to a source, “If [Jude] is the father he will meet his obligations to the child. He’s hoping for an early chance to establish that he is genuinely her dad.” The father of three allegedly paid for Burke’s antenatal care as a kind gesture—not as admittance to fatherhood. [Holy Moly]

But Jude’s not the only one in Hollywood questioning his fatherdom. Here’s a look at five other cases. Keep reading »

Liveblogging “The Hills” And “The City”

What are you doing tonight at 10 pm? Oh, you’ll be here with me liveblogging the season premieres of MTV’s “The Hills” and “The City“? That sounds awesome. Click through to see the latest commentary on Kristin Cavallari‘s general meanness, Heidi and Spencer‘s general inanity, and Whitney Port‘s general blahness. And please, by all means, chime in! Keep reading »

Quickies: Khloe Kardashian’s Wedding Hair Cost A Few Thousand Dollars, Plus 5 Women Not To Befriend

  • Khloe Kardashian‘s wedding hair cost $4,500 plus a $500 tip even though there wasn’t much to the ‘do. [TMZ] — Some women can’t even afford $4,500 for their gown, much less hair. And all this for a wedding that might not have legally married the two.
  • Olivia Wilde says she was advised to hide her marriage to guitarist Tao Ruspoli before she had her big break. She refused. [Starpulse] — What good is success if you don’t have anyone you love to share it with?
  • Check out photos from what Michael K. of Dlisted has dubbed the “Most Glamourous Gay Wedding of the Year.” [Dlisted] –This is further proof that legalizing same-sex marriage across the country will help save our economy.

Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Italy’s Prime Minister Calls Michelle Obama “Sun-Tanned”

  • Italy’s Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi made a stupid joke about Barack and Michelle Obama‘s dark skin, calling it a suntan. According to the AP, he told a crowd in Milan he was bringing well wishes from the United States from “what’s his name? Some, tanned guy. Ah, Barack Obama!” He then continued, “You won’t believe it, but the two of them went to the beach, because the wife is also tanned.” [Essence]

Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Isn’t This Against The School Dress Code?

We don’t care how permissive your fancy prep school is, we’re pretty sure this skirt would get you kicked out. Also, now we know who Kelly Osbourne was complaining about at the Teen Vogue party. [NYC, 9/29/09] Keep reading »

How To Do Your Makeup In 5 Minutes

When I hear stories about people who wake up at 5 a.m. to “put their face on,” I kind of feel like vomiting. (And if I weren’t too busy sleeping in, I would.) Honestly, it should never take more than about five minutes to put on totally passable makeup for the day. And if you pass the 20-minute mark, you’ve got way too much junk on your face. Here’s all you need to look good without waking up at the ass crack of dawn. Keep reading »

Love Vandal: Coronary Thrombosis

Reader Tamara photographed this in downtown Ann Arbor, MI.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com. Keep reading »

How You Can Knit For A Good Cause

Knitters, listen up! Use your skills and take action by participating in Knitting Against AIDS (brought to you by the Designers Against AIDS foundation). All you have to do is put those needles to work, knit a scarf, and send it in (you will have to pay for international shipping because this particular project works with STD- and HIV-awareness organizations in Antwerp … but, charity, people!). They’ll slap on a special tag, and sell the goods a week before World AIDS Day (December 1, 2009). Your garments will be sold alongside those of famous fashion designers. The proceeds will be donated to the Cause-For-AIDS Fund.

With the recent advances in the field of AIDS and HIV research, it’s important to keep the momentum going. So take part and warm some hearts! Or, erm, necks. [DesignersAgainstAids.com] Keep reading »

MERRIme.com: Episode 14

When I’m having boy trouble, you know who I wish I could call? The twins from “Sister, Sister.” On this episode of “MERRIme.com,” Merri seeks advice from Tia and Tamera after a slip of the “L” word causes her to panic. Later, Stephen makes a move on a vulnerable but aggressive Merri. [MERRIme.com] Keep reading »

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