Girl Talk: I Got My Ex Back By Bettering Myself

“Oh god, mom, he broke up with me!” I blubbered over the phone, I was crying so hard my face resembled a marshmallow.

I had decided to stay in bed for two days and was starting to become very ripe and slightly unhinged. Needless to say I was not taking this well at all.

“Should I call him? How do you just leave someone? I really needed him and he dumped me!” I said between sniffles.

My relationship with my now ex had taken a turn for the worse over the past five months. I was stressed out at my job, and had decided without much consideration to go back to school full-time. My mood had changed adversely, and I had proven to be very difficult to be around. I became needy and mean, all at once. It had come to the point where I barely even recognized myself. Keep reading »

Who Gets 82 Tattoos Of Julia Roberts’ Face On His Body? This Guy!

There are no words to adequately express my feelings about the devotion expressed by Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic, a 56-year-old man in Mexico who has spent around $100,000 getting 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts‘ face. Mr. Bukovic, I salute you. (Though I am guessing you probably go to bed alone every night?) [NYmag.com via Best Week Ever] Keep reading »

We Mourn The Loss Of The Penis Spine

Men, guess what? Your peni were supposed to have a spines like the peens of the bean weevil (left) and the marmoset. From a scientific perspective, said penile spine is meant to “grip the walls of the female’s opening” for more productive fertilization. The penis spine is also thought to clean other male sperm out by abrading the female vagina after she’s been doing it with multiple males. Tsk tsk, slutasauruses. Gosh, the penis spine sounds lovely and very comfortable. Unfortunately, our DNA took an unexpected turn and the gene required to form the penis spine molecularly short circuited. In turn, our men developed bigger brains and our women a penchant for monogamy. A very sweet evolutionary tale. Maybe I’ll write an illustrated children’s book about it. [Live Science] Keep reading »

12 Female Stars Who Say There’s A Serious Lack Of Good Roles For Women

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Michelle Rodriguez is known for playing kick-butt characters, from her first staring role in “Girlfight” to Ana Lucia on “Lost” to a marine sergeant in the new flick, “Battle: Los Angeles,” out this Friday. So what’s with all the tough girl roles? “When us chicks don’t remove our clothes and we don’t play the girlfriend, there are not a lot of roles out there,” says Michelle. “I got to play it safe and take the roles I can.” Ahh, gotcha. [NY Daily News]

Michelle is hardly the first actress to complain about the lack of complex, true-to-life roles for women in Hollywood. After the jump, more famous ladies who wish they had meatier parts to sink their teeth into.

“Clarissa Explains It All” Coming To A TV Screen Near You

Happy unbirthday! (Unless of course it is actually your birthday.) TeenNick has announced that they will be bringing back some of our favorite TV shows involving plaid in a new programming block that will air nightly from midnight to 2 a.m. called “The ’90s Are All That.” The series in the block that has us most excited, naturally, is “Clarissa Explains It All,” the show where Melissa Joan Hart navigated wacky parents, a megalomaniacal brother and a crush on her skater neighbor, Sam, all while looking amazing in brightly colored DIY outfits. But we’re also pumped for “The Adventures of Pete and Pete,” the show about two brothers with the same name which featured the coolest tattoo on an underage character ever—Pete’s dancing mermaid. Oh, and “All That” will be returning too, which means we can scope Nick Cannon way before he met Mariah. In other words, sleepless nights just got a little less dismal. [EW] Keep reading »

Facebook Won’t Let Breast Cancer Survivor Post Pics Of Her Boobs

A British breast cancer survivor has had her Facebook page blocked after she posted photos of her reconstructed breasts after surgery. Melissa Tullett of Kent, 40, had a double mastectomy and posted pics of her new tatas for all to see, including nipples that had been tattooed on her new rack. But Facebook said Tullett broke the site’s terms of use regarding nudity and temporarily suspended her account until she removed the pics. Tullett told the BBC she was just trying to be inspirational. “It was to show other women that after such an ordeal you can come out of it with your dignity and your womanhood again, and that it’s not all frightening,” Tullett insisted. She told the local newspaper in Kent, “I felt bullied and picked on. It really upset me, I’m really impressed with the way my breasts look now. I think my breasts look fabulous. The photo is not offensive.”

Meh. I’m with Facebook on this one. Keep reading »

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